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is this sketchy :/ Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
6th Nov '12

Last night my s/o just dropped it on me that he doesn't want to have sex until after the baby is born. He wouldn't even say why he just jokingly said "you're already pregnant, we don't need anymore practice". He slept on the couch last night :/ didn't go up to bed until I left for work at 6. But for the last 2 weeks or so he's been alllll over me because my tits exploded and my belly popped and he said it's a huge turn on that I'm the mother of his child....so what the fuck :? I don't think he's worried about the baby or anything, he knows he doesn't go near my uterus and it didn't freak him out Saturday night when we had sex last :?

Blue mommy Japan 132 posts
6th Nov '12

I think so. But it could be anything

Momma-of-2-Ts 2 kids; British Columbia 255 posts
6th Nov '12

my hubby wouldnt have sex with me once i was 25 weeks with our first because i would be in a shitload of pain when we did have sex, and he slept on the couch so i could have the whole bed to myself since i had major issues with getting comfortable.
it could be that he is just being nice but if you are not in pain while having sex and no medical reason than i would think its odd

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
6th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Momma-of-2-Ts:</b>" my hubby wouldnt have sex with me once i was 25 weeks with our first because i would be in a shitload ... [snip!] ... be that he is just being nice but if you are not in pain while having sex and no medical reason than i would think its odd"</blockquote>



If I was having pain and didn't want sex anyway I wouldn't have needed to post this.

Mara Due September 27 (girl); 2 kids; San Francisco, California 38964 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting ag iompar clainne (16w):" Last night my s/o just dropped it on me that he doesn't want to have sex until after the baby is born. ... [snip!] ... the baby or anything, he knows he doesn't go near my uterus and it didn't freak him out Saturday night when we had sex last :?"


so he did freak out?



or are you worried about cheating?

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
6th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mara:</b>" so he did freak out? or are you worried about cheating? "</blockquote>




No, he wasn't freaked out sat so I can't imagine why he would be now, if that is it.



Cheating has been on my mind :/ but I'm pregnant and hormonal so idk if I'm looking clearly.

Tasha & Nika Due December 22 (boy); 1 child; San Jose, CA, United States 16043 posts
status 6th Nov '12

That's a rather odd and sudden change of reaction..



I'm afraid the only way to find out his reasons, is to directly ask him though.



I know this is easier said than done, but pinpointing the reasons behind his words is probably impossible otherwise, especially as it's such a recent and sudden development

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
6th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tasha & Nika:</b>" That's a rather odd and sudden change of reaction.. I'm afraid the only way to find out his reasons, ... [snip!] ... the reasons behind his words is probably impossible otherwise, especially as it's such a recent and sudden development"</blockquote>



I asked and he joked it off, and when I pressed it he got defensive.
I haven't talked to him today and probably won't get a chance to for a few days :/

Mara Due September 27 (girl); 2 kids; San Francisco, California 38964 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting ag iompar clainne (16w):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mara:</b>" so he did freak out? or are you worried about ... [snip!] ... he would be now, if that is it. Cheating has been on my mind :/ but I'm pregnant and hormonal so idk if I'm looking clearly."


it does happen. it would suck in a huge way... but the truth is: i don't know him, so i can't even begin to speculate as to why that would or wouldn't be possible.



pregnant and hormonal doesn't make you crazy -- it just means you're more emotionally sensitive.



having sex cut off for no reason IS upsetting... it doesn't make sense on it's own.



tasha's right. talk to him about it point blank. let him know your fears, even.

Mara Due September 27 (girl); 2 kids; San Francisco, California 38964 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting ag iompar clainne (16w):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tasha & Nika:</b>" That's a rather odd and sudden change of ... [snip!] ... and when I pressed it he got defensive. I haven't talked to him today and probably won't get a chance to for a few days :/"


bah!



how's he joke it off?

Tasha & Nika Due December 22 (boy); 1 child; San Jose, CA, United States 16043 posts
status 6th Nov '12
Quoting ag iompar clainne (16w):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tasha & Nika:</b>" That's a rather odd and sudden change of ... [snip!] ... and when I pressed it he got defensive. I haven't talked to him today and probably won't get a chance to for a few days :/"


I don't see why he's getting defensive.. that is so, so odd..



It's normal to ask these questions, it's your sex life too..



It's a pretty nasty thing to do to someone, when you put them in a position of uncertainty, fully aware of the fact that they will worry about stuff, without opportunity to talk about it..



Not a fan of your SO right now.. sorry he is acting this way

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
6th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mara:</b>" bah! how's he joke it off? "</blockquote>



When he said "you're already pregnant! We don't need more practice!"




I texted him and he said " Just want to take a break and focus on other aspects of the realationship"



And I left it at that because I can't really do this through text. But now I'm even more :? because we had talked about a threesome but since I found out I'm pregnant I've found the thought turns me off instead of exciting me. I told him we'll talk about it after I give birth and get my body back and I'm feeling more secure with our relationship, and he was super put out about it. I just don't know what to think of him going from wanting sex 3 or 4 times a day and still being ready to go again when I'm exhausted... to saying he wants nothing.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
6th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tasha & Nika:</b>" I don't see why he's getting defensive.. that is so, so odd.. It's normal to ask these questions, ... [snip!] ... will worry about stuff, without opportunity to talk about it.. Not a fan of your SO right now.. sorry he is acting this way"</blockquote>




Yeah I'm not too pleased with him either :( this is just adding to my mountain of misgivings

Tasha & Nika Due December 22 (boy); 1 child; San Jose, CA, United States 16043 posts
status 6th Nov '12
Quoting ag iompar clainne (16w):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mara:</b>" bah! how's he joke it off? "</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... going from wanting sex 3 or 4 times a day and still being ready to go again when I'm exhausted... to saying he wants nothing."


I'm sorry but that doesn't make sense either.



I've never known a couple to benefit from abstaining from sex unless it was a mutual and consensual choice agreed to by both people..

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
6th Nov '12

He called me just now and asked why I'm upset about it and I told him I don't understand how he went from wanting so much to not wanting it at all and it made me feel insecure. and he said we jumped into a physical relationship too quickly so he just wants to "see how putting the breaks on might effect us" and it's no big deal for him to abstain for a few weeks. I told him it's a big deal for me because my sex drive is through the roof and I need both the stress release and the physical intimacy with him at least a couple times a month and he's like "obviously" in a nasty tone and then he got off the phone



And as I was typing this he texted me " Lets keep doing it like rabbits. Whatever you want... I am done fighting it, you get what you want"



I don't understand why he's getting so fucking nasty.