Miscarriage Addy & Grace & Owen's Mom ; 3 kids; Michigan 1340 posts
6th Nov '12

I had just found out a little over a week ago that I was pregnant again. Not something we had planned on at all. I called the doctor and they had me come in and get my HCG level checked since I figured I got pregnant right around 6 weeks PP. I figured things were going to go along smoothly since I've never had any issues in the past. On Saturday I started feeling very crampy and started spotting. By Sunday I was full out bright red bleeding. I went to the ER and found out that I was miscarrying and had already passed the baby.

I didnt think I would be so upset this early on. Especially since this was not planned at all. Now I feel really depressed over losing this baby. I feel guilty because when I first found out I didnt want this baby. Then I wonder if I would have stopped taking the zoloft I was prescribed for PPD that maybe I wouldnt have miscarried this baby. I cant help but feel like this is my fault and there is something I should have been able to do to prevent this from happening.

DH is relieved that we arent having baby #3. He doesnt understand why I am so upset over this loss. Its frustrating. He keeps going on that I knew we couldnt afford a third baby and all that crap. I would just like him to acknowledge the pain that I am feeling and give me a little support over this.

B&R + J 1 child; 2 angel babies; Germantown, Ohio 3749 posts
6th Nov '12

When i miscarried my first, i had only known for about a week and it still hurts me to this day. I wasn't even that far along either.

I'm sorry for your loss and i definitely know how you feel. So if you ever need/want to talk feel free to PM me and/or parentank me

Momma-of-2-Ts 2 kids; British Columbia 255 posts
6th Nov '12

men do not understand the bond we have with our child the moment we concieve them, planned or not.
sorry that you lost your baby :(

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
6th Nov '12

Don't blame yourself! Babies lost that early are miscarried due to chromosomal defects...there was absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent it and it was definitely not the Zoloft. I'm sorry DH is being so insensitive...losing a baby is painful whether you were planning for the baby or not. Men just aren't good at dealing with their own feelings...I'm sure he's confused. It sucks that he can't be supportive for you though...maybe he'll come around.

Regina Stevenson Due November 29 (twins); 1 child; Michigan 388 posts
7th Nov '12

There was nothing you could have done. Its ok I know it hurts but you will eventually be ok. You probably got so attached so quickly and got so super depressed over it (even though you knw all the cons according to your husband about baby #3) is because it happened so quickly after baby #2 arrived. ITs all hormones and even quitting the Zoloft would not have helped. It was all something to do with the baby and something wasnt forming right. Its all genetically related that early on. I am very sry for your loss but plz dont beat yourself up over it. You other children need you to stay strong and its already hard to stay strong having just recently had a baby and being on anti depressants for PPD. I wish you the best of luck and wish I could somehow help to take away the sorrow. I know what it is like to misscarry (not so soon after a pregnancy carried to term but I do know.) I was 16 and only like 8 weeks pregnant and it sucked because I wanted the baby but in the end it worked out for the best. Because now I have a beautiful 4 yr old boy and Id Twin boys arriving the 19th of this month by c-section to show for me not having a baby at 16. I wasnt ready but I am now. Pm me if you would like to talk about it more. Again I am sry

*HUGS* Stay strong mama you will make it through!!!

Suraya's Mommy Due February 16 (boy); 17 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 2205 posts
7th Nov '12

I know how you're feeling. :( I lost a baby at just over 3 months pregnant on August 8th. I also feel guilty because it was a surprise and at first I didn't really want another child yet, and as soon as I made the decision that I would parent this baby, I found out the baby had passed. I didn't stop taking my Celexa, I quit smoking a couple of weeks after I found out, but what if that wasn't soon enough? All these things run through my mind, and I feel like someway, somehow, it's my fault. Rationally, I know nothing I did caused my baby to pass away, but sometimes thoughts will get to me. It gets easier to deal with over time. Easier to go about your day without constantly crying and being depressed. It helps if you do something in remembrance. I'm so sorry mama, PM me if you need someone. <3 Best wishes to you.