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Bogey Woman 2 kids; Fort Irwin, California 1892 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Cheℓs +2 [12wks]:" He had been having problems with his foreman. He called the office to say something about it & they ... [snip!] ... like him. They don't even call him Dad, they call him by his first name. My DH is too nice sometimes & it screws us over!"


Ohhh...the too nice thing. My husband is the same way. However, if he loves you, he should respect how YOU feel instead of just telling you that that's how it's going to be. He can't make you move and he SURE as hell can't make you like it. What is he going to do when things get hard at this new place, leave again? He's going to stretch you thin and he needs to be aware of how you're feeling.

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Bogey Woman:" Ohhh...the too nice thing. My husband is the same way. However, if he loves you, he should respect how ... [snip!] ... things get hard at this new place, leave again? He's going to stretch you thin and he needs to be aware of how you're feeling."

I'm so stressed about it too! I was super sick all night, which isn't good for the baby. He says I need to cut the cord from my parents. My parents help me when he doesn't! I'm afraid of having two kids to being with, I don't want to be away from people that will help me. I know it would kill my parents if I moved away & they couldn't even meet their newest grandchild. They both work, they can't drop everything to rush down there!

brendaruth 2 kids; Utah 5682 posts
7th Nov '12

maybe he should just work there mon-fri and come home for the weekends??? i bet he would get sick of it and decide to quit working with his dad. and since his dad sounds like a total douche, there will probably be a fight between them at some point.

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting brendaruth:" maybe he should just work there mon-fri and come home for the weekends??? i bet he would get sick of ... [snip!] ... working with his dad. and since his dad sounds like a total douche, there will probably be a fight between them at some point."

I suggested that. It will cost $140 for a round trip bus ticket, which isn't that bad. I don't know why he's so nice to his Dad. On our first date he had a horse voice & marks on his neck, his Dad threw him down the stairs. :/

Bogey Woman 2 kids; Fort Irwin, California 1892 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Cheℓs +2 [12wks]:" I suggested that. It will cost $140 for a round trip bus ticket, which isn't that bad. I don't know why ... [snip!] ... he's so nice to his Dad. On our first date he had a horse voice & marks on his neck, his Dad threw him down the stairs. :/ "


...and he wants to LIVE with him?...

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Bogey Woman:" ...and he wants to LIVE with him?..."

I guess we'd be living down the street from him. But still, I don't want my child seeing stuff like that. I want her to know that you love your family & treat them with respect. Not beat the crap out of them & treat them like dirt!

Bogey Woman 2 kids; Fort Irwin, California 1892 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting brendaruth:" maybe he should just work there mon-fri and come home for the weekends??? i bet he would get sick of ... [snip!] ... working with his dad. and since his dad sounds like a total douche, there will probably be a fight between them at some point."


I agree with this. Have him go for the week and then come see you on the weekends (or whenever his days off are). It might strengthen your relationship because you won't be up each other's butts every day and seeing each other will almost feel like a vacation.

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Bogey Woman:" I agree with this. Have him go for the week and then come see you on the weekends (or whenever his days ... [snip!] ... your relationship because you won't be up each other's butts every day and seeing each other will almost feel like a vacation."

I've become okay with that. I mean I miss him but he needs a job. I just don't want to have to leave my family & have to start a life with no one I know around. He's coming home next Friday for the weekend & then will be gone for another two weeks.

Bunni♥ +2 18 kids; 2 angel babies; Wyltk, PA, United States 1547 posts
7th Nov '12

Help him with the search for a job where you live now. I wouldn't want to move if I was you! I wouldn't want my kids around that.

Bogey Woman 2 kids; Fort Irwin, California 1892 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Cheℓs +2 [12wks]:" I've become okay with that. I mean I miss him but he needs a job. I just don't want to have to leave ... [snip!] ... a life with no one I know around. He's coming home next Friday for the weekend & then will be gone for another two weeks. "


Of course it'll be a rough adjustment at first, but you guys will manage. Put your relationship first and everything else second.

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Bunni♥TTC#2:" Help him with the search for a job where you live now. I wouldn't want to move if I was you! I wouldn't want my kids around that."

I've been looking for him & found some really good jobs. But he keeps saying no to them. I feel like I'm dealing with a grumpy toddler! lol

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Bogey Woman:" Of course it'll be a rough adjustment at first, but you guys will manage. Put your relationship first and everything else second."

I think the problem right now his him forcing the move. I keep telling him I don't want to talk about it until he comes home, but he's not getting the hint. I don't want a divorce but I feel like he's going to leave me or something. & if he thinks he'll take my DD & this baby with him he is NUTS!

Bunni♥ +2 18 kids; 2 angel babies; Wyltk, PA, United States 1547 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Cheℓs +2 [12wks]:" I've been looking for him & found some really good jobs. But he keeps saying no to them. I feel like I'm dealing with a grumpy toddler! lol"


Oh geez! lol Tell him try the jobs by you and if that doesn't work out then he can take that one with his dad. My husband is very stubborn too! He wanted to move us to for a job before our wedding and I was pissed! I would go with him anywhere but it was crappy timing. He eventually found a good job an hour away and hes happy with it! Thank god lol

Mutha. TTC since Jan 1995; 3830 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Bunni♥TTC#2:" Oh geez! lol Tell him try the jobs by you and if that doesn't work out then he can take that one with ... [snip!] ... go with him anywhere but it was crappy timing. He eventually found a good job an hour away and hes happy with it! Thank god lol"

There are tons of jobs about an hour or two away from where we live. I told him I don't mind moving closer to them. I mean we'd still live in the same state & be close to family.

m o m ♥ 2 kids; Ontario 7948 posts
7th Nov '12

I'd be pissed as hell!!! I don't even want to drive 30 mins for a doctors appointment let alone 6 hrs. What are you suppose to do at the end of your pregnancy when you start going for weekly visits?!



I really hope he realizes how unrealistic this is for you and is willing to compromise!