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Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Brantley's mama 8-24-12:" It takes awhile. I was so in love. Found out the entire. 2 years he was cheating on me. Now a year later ... [snip!] ... with him. Went on senior trip with him. Was the first Guy I ever lived with. Its hard. But you'll get there it just takes time."


I was in a similar situation :? First guy I ever had a really good relationship with, and I find out he's been emotionally not there the entire time, but he won't fess up to cheating even though I know he did (I saw his FB messages) :? Only we have a kid together so I can't really erase him out of my life

Mandi Spells 17 kids; Victor, Idaho 47 posts
7th Nov '12

I don't think it ever fully goes away.
At least for me there is still a level of distrust that is always in the back of my mind. It doesn't consume me to the point to where I can't function and it gets in the way, but there are times it causes me to have doubts.
Like if my husband says he has to work late, or gets up to answer his phone in another room, or if he suddenly has to go out of town for work.



I try not to say anything because I really its just me... being insecure... because I've been fucked over so many times. But its still there.



I just learned to quiet myself, and it helped me function.
But the distrust is always there. I don't really trust my husband and he knows. He tries to work with me. Its not easy and we've had fights over it, but its something that's there and is unfortunately a part of me.

Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting ☠Jenniefahhh:" My ex husband cheated on me, and my current boyfriend is who I've been with for 2 years. He hasn't ... [snip!] ... He hasn't cheated, that I know of. There's been many things I questioned, but I think a lot of it comes from my insecurity."


Ahh gotcha.

kittywhite 1 child; Tokyo, Japan 4493 posts
7th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:</b>" ...are y'all together still?"</blockquote>




no.

Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Noneya Business:" I felt like that too. I felt like I needed to stay with BD because he was in my life for so long, ... [snip!] ... she ended up friend zoning him. They talk all the time and hang out. If BD ever did that his ass would have been handed to him."


The thought of BD talking to other girls makes my stomach turn...we aren't even together anymore but he really wants me to give him another chance. Yet he still is talking to other girls while asking me to take him back :?

Noneya Business Due August 29; 1 child; Pennsylvania 10733 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:" The thought of BD talking to other girls makes my stomach turn...we aren't even together anymore but ... [snip!] ... but he really wants me to give him another chance. Yet he still is talking to other girls while asking me to take him back :?"



BD wanted me to stop talking to the guy I'm with now. He's living with a girl that he has feelings for but she only wants to have sex with him, nothing more. I love how some guys see it as ok. I'm so happy since I've moved on. I didn't think I would be. BD had a court hearing today. He didn't have a ride so he asked me. I was working though. If it was a few months ago, I would have left work early to help him. Now, it doesn't even phase me if he's in jail or not.

Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Noneya Business:" BD wanted me to stop talking to the guy I'm with now. He's living with a girl that he has feelings ... [snip!] ... If it was a few months ago, I would have left work early to help him. Now, it doesn't even phase me if he's in jail or not."


I can't wait to be in a state of mind like that haha

Katie[ღ]Siℓas 17 kids; Grand Haven, Michigan 2071 posts
7th Nov '12

It just takes time I guess.. I've been cheated on by every guy I've been with, even my fiance cheated on me in the beginning of our relationship. I was in a relationship with a guy once, for about a month or so.. During the carnival I went downtown and he was sitting with one of my friends on his lap making out with her.. He didn't even try to explain himself he just kept making out with her even though he looked right at me.



I suppose it's just something you gotta deal with when it happens until you find someone that won't cheat, or someone who is worth working it out with.

Alyssa ♥E,V,&A 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Apple Valley, California 2322 posts
7th Nov '12

bleh, it's easy to forgive, it's not so easy to forget.




i am still working on the forgetting part.
it will never go away i swear! but i'm hoping it does because it's my biggest hold back!

Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
7th Nov '12
Quoting Alyssa ♥'s Vincent:" bleh, it's easy to forgive, it's not so easy to forget. i am still working on the forgetting part. it will never go away i swear! but i'm hoping it does because it's my biggest hold back!"


Exactly :( I'm trying to forgive him, but I will never forget the things I saw :?

lise. ෆ 1 child; 1 angel baby; Cold, Ol, Canada 58834 posts
status 7th Nov '12
Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:" I know :( I can't stop thinking about it though. I try to keep myself busy all day but my mind always wanders back to it. "


Oh, don't get me wrong.. all this stuff lately with the new SO, has me in such a frenzy. Atleast with ex, I lived with him and we could just sit and talk it out. Current SO lives 45 minutes away and talking through text, email or on the phone just isn't the same. I only seem to dwell on it when not physically with him :(

A&J. ♥ 1 child; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 5613 posts
8th Nov '12

I agree with the forgiving but never forgetting.
It still causes distrust for me with other men



And I do still love the man who cheated on me

Addi's Momma TTC since Jul 2012; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Florissant, Missouri 4976 posts
8th Nov '12

2 of my exes cheated on me. When I started dating DH, it was easy to trust him. He never did anything shady and I was very comfortable with him. I still have my moments of jealousy but DH is perfect for me so it was easy to trust him.

Brantley+Savannah 2 kids; Mills River, NC, United States 3119 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:" I was in a similar situation :? First guy I ever had a really good relationship with, and I find out ... [snip!] ... even though I know he did (I saw his FB messages) :? Only we have a kid together so I can't really erase him out of my life"


i saw mines texts, then text the girl back on his phone pretending to be him and she straight out told me they had sex, then while im sitting there texting her hes telling me he didnt have sex with her, and im like wtf and he wondered why i never put out, why the hell would i sleep with someone i know is sleeping with other people, and drinking behind my back because hes a smurfing alcholic that went to rehab at 17!