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user banned Due April 8; 1 child; Washington 11352 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting ~*~ Nichole ~*~:" Leave your husband, he deserves to be with someone who considers him their true love."


:!:

user banned 4 kids; Mueang Phuket, Thailand 30487 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting Turd Ferguson:" In my opinion the amount of growing up that is done between 18 and say 26 isn't worth finding out that ... [snip!] ... knew back then. It's easy for our mind to remember people the way we want to. You're breaking your husbands heart right now."



this is very true! people change..

maybe take a "break" and see how things go? good luck OP. My best advice is to just follow your heart as cheesey as it sounds. if you dont you will wonder "what If" forever, but if you go for itand it doesnt work..then you tried. but then you might be left alone. there is alot to think about. good luck!

Subtle As A Hurricane 2 kids; Texas 4131 posts
8th Nov '12

It sounds to me like you need to decide if you want to continue with your marriage or get a divorce and get back together with your ex. If you know you will never be happy with your husband, end it now. The longer you drag it out, the worse it will be. Whatever you decide, good luck.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting *Turtles*:" Why are you still with your SO then?"


because i want my daughter to have both of her parents in her life. because i do love him, even though most of you probably won't believe that. this is tearing me apart and i wish i could make it all go away.

Turd Ferguson Bangkok, Thailand 4583 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting BG Secrets:" i know, and i feel absolutely horrible about it. :( i've thought about what you said. maybe i'm idealizing ... [snip!] ... i'm idealizing him and vice versa. i don't know. i really wish i could get over him. truly, i do, but it's not that simple."


Take it from me. I spent a great deal of my time romanticizing a relationship I had when I was 19. He was in another state. We met a few times to be together. On my 25th birthday he showed up on my doorstop. I was excited, shocked, nervous, and at the end of the day not in love. Thank goodness I didn't have to make the decision you are. But I can confirm what I said to be true, for me atleast.

user banned 4 kids; Mueang Phuket, Thailand 30487 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting BG Secrets:" because i want my daughter to have both of her parents in her life. because i do love him, even though ... [snip!] ... love him, even though most of you probably won't believe that. this is tearing me apart and i wish i could make it all go away."


can you and your husband try and go out and be all romantic and hopefully take your mind off him?

SpaceCowgirl Due December 21; 3 kids; Oregon 20240 posts
8th Nov '12

Do you want it to be more than an emotional affair? Or is this more of a crush?

Baby B<3 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting BG Secrets:" because i want my daughter to have both of her parents in her life. because i do love him, even though ... [snip!] ... love him, even though most of you probably won't believe that. this is tearing me apart and i wish i could make it all go away."


Well if you love this other guy and you love him. I am just going to put it this way if you love your husband enough let him go, he deserves better then staying in a unhappy marriage. You daughter can have both parents in her life. You have to understand that although it is great to have both parents being together in her life, its not always the best thing for her. She can have you both in her life and you guys not be together because you have to think about her best interest if your not happy, she's not happy.

*Turtles* 2 kids; Someplace, UT, United States 6093 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting BG Secrets:" because i want my daughter to have both of her parents in her life. because i do love him, even though ... [snip!] ... love him, even though most of you probably won't believe that. this is tearing me apart and i wish i could make it all go away."

You either need to divorce your SO & be with your ex or you can forget about the ex and move on.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting ☮ Phuket:" can you and your husband try and go out and be all romantic and hopefully take your mind off him?"


he's not the romantic type. never has been. we "took a break" about 2 years ago, because i didn't feel like i loved him anymore. he stepped it up for awhile and did some cheesy, romantic stuff, but that was short-lived. i know he cares about me more than i deserve and i don't want to lose him. i'm so freaking confused! i could tell my ex to eff off, but those feelings will still be there.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting *Turtles*:" You either need to divorce your SO & be with your ex or you can forget about the ex and move on."


i've been trying to do that for 8 years. i wish it were that simple.

user banned 3 kids; Portland, Michigan 15675 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting Turd Ferguson:" In my opinion the amount of growing up that is done between 18 and say 26 isn't worth finding out that ... [snip!] ... knew back then. It's easy for our mind to remember people the way we want to. You're breaking your husbands heart right now."


:!:

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
8th Nov '12

All this true love stuff is juvenile and hoaky. We can have many true loves in our lives that serve different purposes. Your ex served his purpose and your husband serves his. It may not be the intense puppy love you had withyour ex-but that doesn't last forever. Most functional relationships AREN'T like that as we mature.

user banned 4 kids; Mueang Phuket, Thailand 30487 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting BG Secrets:" he's not the romantic type. never has been. we "took a break" about 2 years ago, because i didn't feel ... [snip!] ... and i don't want to lose him. i'm so freaking confused! i could tell my ex to eff off, but those feelings will still be there."



maybe if you just cut him out.. and just go on with life, eventually it will go away.


this kinda reminds me of the notebook in a way ya know.. if i had a "noah" i wouldnt want to lose him thats for sure.

Katie[ღ]Siℓas 17 kids; Grand Haven, Michigan 2071 posts
8th Nov '12
Quoting Turd Ferguson:" In my opinion the amount of growing up that is done between 18 and say 26 isn't worth finding out that ... [snip!] ... knew back then. It's easy for our mind to remember people the way we want to. You're breaking your husbands heart right now."


So much this. I'm still in love with my first love, my first real boyfriend, the first guy I lost my virginity to. But, I'm mature enough to realize that I'm not really in love with that guy, I'm in love with who he used to be, I'm in love with the thought of who he used to be. I still dream about him. We've both grown up and we both have our own lives and I know for a fact he want's nothing to do with me and even if he did, I wouldn't risk fucking up my current relationship with my fiance who I am also deeply in love with just to see if my ex is the same guy he used to be, and I'm willing to bet he's completely different now based just on how much I've changed since then. You never really know.