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Layla-and-Faith 2 kids; Nova Scotia 656 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting Ryloonjimama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Layla-and-Faith:</b>" I would be annoyed as well if my SO told ... [snip!] ... tell me no lol"</blockquote> I think OP said she doesn't work. Not that it makes a different. They're in a partnership."


Yes, but that makes no difference. I can see if they are in a newer relationship and not yet sharing everything but if they have been together sometime, it's her money, too. My SO recently became a stay-at-home-dad so I make ALL the money but it's OURS. We have two bank cards to the same account, if he wants to grab a coffee, he has just as much right to do so as I do, in my opinion.

Layla-and-Faith 2 kids; Nova Scotia 656 posts
9th Nov '12

and I still check with him if I want to make a big purchase to make sure there is was nothing he felt we needed before I bought something I wanted (which never happens haha) but it's kind of like "My check is a little higher this week so I was thinking about getting a new out-fit or is there anything we need more?" and he usually says "no but I wanted to get this game" then we reach an agreement.. Usually, he gets the game this check and I can something next check, type of thing.

R. Sparkles 2 kids; California 2601 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting Layla-and-Faith:" Yes, but that makes no difference. I can see if they are in a newer relationship and not yet sharing ... [snip!] ... two bank cards to the same account, if he wants to grab a coffee, he has just as much right to do so as I do, in my opinion."


this is the same with us.
i am a sahm and dh brings in the big bucks.
he has told me over and over that this is our money and i have as much right to spend it.

we do however discuss big purchases on either side.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11958 posts
9th Nov '12

yes, I'd absolutely be upset, especially with the comment about feeling powerful

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
status 9th Nov '12

SO not cool hun... I'd be pissed too.



Sounds like I need to heat up that soldering iron huh? ;) Ly xo

Dr. Elliot Reid 1 child; New Zealand 8776 posts
status 10th Nov '12
Quoting Ryloonjimama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Elliot ... [snip!] ... worth continuing. You can't spend your life worrying about what you can and can't have based on what HE thinks is appropriate."

I agree with you. We need to have a proper talk about it when there isnt so much going on

Dr. Elliot Reid 1 child; New Zealand 8776 posts
status 10th Nov '12
Quoting snglemama:" yes, I'd absolutely be upset, especially with the comment about feeling powerful"

Yeah, that really upset me too

Dr. Elliot Reid 1 child; New Zealand 8776 posts
status 10th Nov '12
Quoting J+M=L:" SO not cool hun... I'd be pissed too. Sounds like I need to heat up that soldering iron huh? ;) Ly xo"

Haha, I wish.



Just kidding, I have a soldering iron warming up in the shed ;)



We've been having so many problems lately, im just hoping shit gets sorted out soon because im sick of the constant arguing, and DD is starting to pick up when I feel super stressed because it makes her upset

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
status 10th Nov '12
Quoting Elliot Reid:" Haha, I wish. Just kidding, I have a soldering iron warming up in the shed ;) We've been having so ... [snip!] ... because im sick of the constant arguing, and DD is starting to pick up when I feel super stressed because it makes her upset"

If I leave now I'll be there by morning ;)



I hope things do start to get better hun.. He can't have always been that much of a douche, I'm hoping he wakes up and realises that what he's doing is NOT okay. You and L both deserve better than that. xx

Dr. Elliot Reid 1 child; New Zealand 8776 posts
status 11th Nov '12
Quoting J+M=L:" If I leave now I'll be there by morning ;) I hope things do start to get better hun.. He can't have ... [snip!] ... of a douche, I'm hoping he wakes up and realises that what he's doing is NOT okay. You and L both deserve better than that. xx"

Thanks hun. Na he wasnt always like this but there has always been an element of control which is why we have broken up about 1000 times in the almost 6 or 7 years (I cant remember exactly lol) that we have been together. Thanks for the thoughts :)

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
status 11th Nov '12
Quoting Elliot Reid:" Thanks hun. Na he wasnt always like this but there has always been an element of control which is why ... [snip!] ... 1000 times in the almost 6 or 7 years (I cant remember exactly lol) that we have been together. Thanks for the thoughts :)"


Boys can be so dumb :(