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not sure if this is the right spot? Elizabeth 0315 Due February 24; 35 kids; Prince Edward Island 1606 posts
9th Nov '12

I was wondering if any ladies might be able to add some input on something. I was talking with my mother tonight and she was telling me that, when she was 3 years old my grandmother had another baby girl that passed away when she was 3 days old. My mother never got to see her in the hospital or anything. Mom said she was crying the other night and after trying to figure out why she was so sad, she came to the conclusion she was grieving/ missing her sister... Mom's in her early 50's now and can't understand why she'd be crying and so upset these many years later she said she felt stupid..... I was wondering if anyone else lost a sibling similar and felt this too or if they know of any information on the subject as to why she'd feel this way now? I looked online and can't find anything . thanks ladies :)

user banned 17 kids; Boston, MA, United States 9473 posts
9th Nov '12

nope, cant figure it out myself.
i had a twin, my twin brothers had a triplet, and i have a half sibling that was recently lost.



idk, i saw a post on here a while ago about people mourning their in vivo twins that didnt make it. i guess it can be a real thing...
i dont care, never have and cant imagine i ever will.
she could just as easily never know about her sibling. a three year old wouldnt understand what happened and likely wouldnt remember. i think maybe how her parents reacted might have had an impact, for sure.

Elizabeth 0315 Due February 24; 35 kids; Prince Edward Island 1606 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting cunning cuniculi:" nope, cant figure it out myself. i had a twin, my twin brothers had a triplet, and i have a half sibling ... [snip!] ... understand what happened and likely wouldnt remember. i think maybe how her parents reacted might have had an impact, for sure."

yeah Nan went into labor a month early and had complications, for mom the baby was there then in Heaven .... not much was explained about it other then that.

user banned 17 kids; Boston, MA, United States 9473 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting Elizabeth 0315:" yeah Nan went into labor a month early and had complications, for mom the baby was there then in Heaven .... not much was explained about it other then that."


how did her mom mourn? did the family stay together okay?
i can imagine if it was made into a big deal (understandably) that it could have an impact, if not then i just dont understand. but hey, she is human-we are odd little things.

Elizabeth 0315 Due February 24; 35 kids; Prince Edward Island 1606 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting cunning cuniculi:" how did her mom mourn? did the family stay together okay? i can imagine if it was made into a big deal ... [snip!] ... that it could have an impact, if not then i just dont understand. but hey, she is human-we are odd little things."


They stayed together , I guess everyone was more hush hush about it. I know nan never really got over it . I felt really bad for mom tho she said as she gets older she misses her all that much more. Your right we are odd.

Squid Kid Due July 2; 1 child; 5 angel babies; Tennessee 27571 posts
status 9th Nov '12

My twin died in uetero, I've felt sad about it sometimes. But didn't really know her anything.

Veronica m6 Due February 25; Fort Richardson, Alaska 1514 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting Elizabeth 0315:" I was wondering if any ladies might be able to add some input on something. I was talking with my mother ... [snip!] ... of any information on the subject as to why she'd feel this way now? I looked online and can't find anything . thanks ladies :)"


IF your mother is an only child as a result of her sister'd death then I can see why she is crying about the loss. Although she never knew her, it is the thought of what she missed out on or could have had...The Aunt you never had..... ect..ect..



It is like this...seeing another set of sisters and then she thinks...That should have been me and my sister...
Or not having that sister to call and get advice from of just gossip to.....That can be hard...



It reminds me of the loss of my baby. Although they say you don't miss what you never had..I do. I long for my lost baby. Knowing there should be 7 not 6. I feel like I am constantly missing a child.
Just my thoughts..I could be wrong.

user banned 1 child; 1 angel baby; Japan 930 posts
9th Nov '12

My mom had a baby boy before me that was born too premature to live and only live a couple days because she never even knew she was pregnant, I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had an older brother and how it would've been to be the middle child instead of the oldest.

Squid Kid Due July 2; 1 child; 5 angel babies; Tennessee 27571 posts
status 9th Nov '12

I also had a sister pass away in utero before I was born. My mom got into a car crash and she passed away.. can't say I ever miss her though because then she wouldn't have had me.



However I do wonder a lot how life would have been with my twin and I think it may be why I would like two girls so I can experience that sister bond I never had.

Elizabeth 0315 Due February 24; 35 kids; Prince Edward Island 1606 posts
9th Nov '12

Mom of 6... yes mom was an only child as a result of losing her sister. I think you are right that's how I was thinking it would be. I also was an only child and watching my girls grow up together sometimes amazes me. most times actually lol
one minute they are arguing over something the next they are laughing together lol
I also lost twins just before I got pregnant with my son, I have 3 soon to be 4 children that not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for them . I also miss the twins very much , I've a lot of I wonder's.