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Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting The Doctor:" "This is our first child together. He has other children with his ex wife and they come every other ... [snip!] ... when YOU are pregnant, when he already has kids of his own, and you have kids of your own, and he still acts like this?"


:!: :!: :!: :!: :!:

jenjenbaby3 Due June 20 (girl); 2 kids; Gibsonburg, Ohio 50 posts
9th Nov '12

I guess it's pretty naive for me to think he should act differently. I just didn't know going in that he wouldn't even want to experience this pregnancy with me and that partying would take a front seat to me and the baby's needs. He and I had a fantastic relationship leading up to all this. Always on the same page and trying to make each other happy and having fun all the time.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59929 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting jenjenbaby3:" I guess it's pretty naive for me to think he should act differently. I just didn't know going in that ... [snip!] ... relationship leading up to all this. Always on the same page and trying to make each other happy and having fun all the time. "


Hm. Well, two things.



Number one... you're nine weeks pregnant... I don't really know how the baby's needs are taking a back seat, right now. If you're saying you're taking a back seat, emotionally, then yes. You should try and talk to him, and tell him you want to spend more time with him (try and think of some things you could do together!)



And, if his idea of fun is partying, and yours was, too, before you were pregnant.... yeah. You not partying anymore will probably seem like no fun, to him. Do other things together, and both of you can see you can have fun without partying all the time.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting jenjenbaby3:" I guess it's pretty naive for me to think he should act differently. I just didn't know going in that ... [snip!] ... relationship leading up to all this. Always on the same page and trying to make each other happy and having fun all the time. "


That is because you lived in his world. If you were partying as much as he is or even half, it was telling him that lifestyle is OK. Now that it clearly isn't acceptable for the new phase in life, you are rolling solo unless HE wants to change and get on board.



Think about it, if he asked to do a few lines before you got pregnant you wouldn't have thought twice. Now that you are........

jenjenbaby3 Due June 20 (girl); 2 kids; Gibsonburg, Ohio 50 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting Not tellin:" Ok, call me snarky or bitchy but WHY would you want a man like this in your life around your existing ... [snip!] ... is that much of a "party" boy, there are larger issues on the table rather than just him being around while you are pregnant."


Yes, i understand there are larger issues. And hindsight is always 20/20, right? But here I am. Pregnant and tired of fighting about him and his partying.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting jenjenbaby3:" Yes, i understand there are larger issues. And hindsight is always 20/20, right? But here I am. Pregnant and tired of fighting about him and his partying. "


Yes it is. You do have time to make choices to change the outcome of this situation. A long heart to heart with him sober is needed.

jenjenbaby3 Due June 20 (girl); 2 kids; Gibsonburg, Ohio 50 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting Not tellin:" That is because you lived in his world. If you were partying as much as he is or even half, it was telling ... [snip!] ... Think about it, if he asked to do a few lines before you got pregnant you wouldn't have thought twice. Now that you are........"


I am coming to terms with me being on my own so to speak. I will not argue with him anymore and feel like i should just go to my mom's or something to get away from him and his stupidity but don't know if that's the right decision. I let him do whatever he wanted before and i don't know if such a drastic move will just make me seem b*tchy or if it's necessary. I'm hoping with time he will calm down.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59929 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting jenjenbaby3:" I am coming to terms with me being on my own so to speak. I will not argue with him anymore and feel ... [snip!] ... i don't know if such a drastic move will just make me seem b*tchy or if it's necessary. I'm hoping with time he will calm down."


I'm telling you, steps. You two need to have calm and rational conversations if you both want it to work... I don't recommend taking off as the most mature way to make him do what you want, yaknow?

jenjenbaby3 Due June 20 (girl); 2 kids; Gibsonburg, Ohio 50 posts
9th Nov '12

I know it's not mature to just leave which is why I am hesitant. But I am so sick and tired of it I dont know what else to do. We will never see eye to eye on this I'm afraid. Thanks everyone for reading my rant. I'll try to talk to him tonight.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Nov '12
Quoting jenjenbaby3:" I know it's not mature to just leave which is why I am hesitant. But I am so sick and tired of it I dont ... [snip!] ... to do. We will never see eye to eye on this I'm afraid. Thanks everyone for reading my rant. I'll try to talk to him tonight."

Good Luck!!!!

I'm actually a virgin Due June 9; 1 child; Oregon 18466 posts
10th Nov '12

So you were a mother of two, sleeping with this " partier" and now that you're knocked up you want him to be responsible? I mean, I get it... but come on

jenjenbaby3 Due June 20 (girl); 2 kids; Gibsonburg, Ohio 50 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting P.S I'm pregnant ♥:" So you were a mother of two, sleeping with this " partier" and now that you're knocked up you want him to be responsible? I mean, I get it... but come on"


not just sleeping with this partier...we've been together for 3 yrs and i've done my share of partying too. but when i found out i was pregnant, obviously all that stopped. i guess i was hoping that after a few weeks, he would calm down too. it just hasn't happened yet. he says he's just having a hard time adjusting.

jenjenbaby3 Due June 20 (girl); 2 kids; Gibsonburg, Ohio 50 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting Not tellin:" Good Luck!!!!"

It actually went quite well. He is just feeling overwhelmed and wants to revert to the normal "stress relievers" out of habit. But he apologized for being so on-edge and for making me feel like it's my fault. It was a good talk and I feel better. Thanks for listening :)

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting jenjenbaby3:" It actually went quite well. He is just feeling overwhelmed and wants to revert to the normal "stress ... [snip!] ... for being so on-edge and for making me feel like it's my fault. It was a good talk and I feel better. Thanks for listening :)"


Hopefully the two of you can find new "stress relievers" together. Maybe something that is a bit more healthy! lol




Hope he stays on the right track. Just know what you have to do if he doesn't. You do need to draw hard lines with him.

Rachel Lynn Leighty TTC since Jun 2014; 4 kids; Ohio 7 posts
17th Dec '12

Ok first of all why the hell are you still with this guy if he is bringing coke into the house when you have 12 yr old and an 8 yr old little girls. And then he brings his friends over and gets wasted. I'm sorry but I've heard to many times in the news about little girls getting molested by their mothers boyfriends or some one they know so I would never trust any guys around my girls. Especially ones that are getting drunk and high. If he cant grow the hell up and stop partying then this guy isn't meant to be a father. You dont need the added stress especially right now. And if he can't understand that you can't do this shit any more then he's a moron. Your kids come first and the fact that you are even letting him around them is crazy. You really need to tell him if he doesn't grow up then it's not going to work out. He obviously doesn't care about the baby or he would stop.