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Child support & custody Rawr ღ 1 child; New Jersey 768 posts
10th Nov '12

I went to court yesterday to get an application to put BD on child support.. He didn't sign the birth certificate so they will be doing a DNA test. I live at my parents house with my daughter, I'm not working, I go to school. The lady at the court yesterday told me "Just because the baby is with you doesn't mean you have custody of her", I'm aware that cs and custody are different things. I am sooo worried that they'll give my baby to her dad since I don't have a job and my parents are supporting us.. Is there a possibility that they could give him custody of her?

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36449 posts
10th Nov '12

No. Why would they do that?! I wouldnt let him see her until a custody order is in place.

☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆ Due September 18; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Centralia, Washington 44154 posts
10th Nov '12

if hes not deemed unfit they could give him joint ,

Tiff + 2[girls] 2 kids; Montana 6000 posts
10th Nov '12

They're not just going to give your baby to him.. they basically told me the same thing saying that both parents have equal rights to the baby and to see the baby.. but my BD never wanted to see her so I didn't have an issue with it.. the only way it would change is if he decided to take you to court for some kind of custody or visitations.

**Cali's Mommie**[EBF] 2 kids; San Jacinto, California 661 posts
10th Nov '12

no unless your a unfit mother they wont take her! they usually try to keep the baby with the mother

Rawr ღ 1 child; New Jersey 768 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting Tiff + 2[girls]:" They're not just going to give your baby to him.. they basically told me the same thing saying that both ... [snip!] ... an issue with it.. the only way it would change is if he decided to take you to court for some kind of custody or visitations."


He's 13 years old than me and has 3 other kids. When I told him I was pregnant we lost communication, he moved, deleted his facebook and changed his number. I hate all this court stuff

Tiff + 2[girls] 2 kids; Montana 6000 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Liss ♥:</b>" He's 13 years old than me and has 3 other kids. When I told him I was pregnant we lost communication, he moved, deleted his facebook and changed his number. I hate all this court stuff"</blockquote>




If he did all that it sounds like he doesn't wanna be involved. Don't stress too much. Maybe you should do a parenting plan or something stating you want full custody though in case he tries to do something after you file for child support

Legendary Due August 27; 1 child; Beverly Hills, California 54389 posts
status 10th Nov '12

If he's able to be a better parent than you, then yes obviously he could get her full time.



I would put a custody order in place before or soon after the DNA test comes back, honestly. Once it's proven that she's his he could take her and you would have to go to court to get her back. It wouldn't be kidnapping because there isn't an order saying he CAN'T have full custody.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18092 posts
10th Nov '12

The courts do what is in the best interest of the child, and if she is cared for and is in a stable loving home with her mom, they aren't going to steal her away from you because he has a job. That would be cruel.



Don't worry mamma.



And ask your parents for a loan and get a good lawyer! It's too important to not have one.

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45011 posts
status 10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" If he's able to be a better parent than you, then yes obviously he could get her full time. I would ... [snip!] ... have to go to court to get her back. It wouldn't be kidnapping because there isn't an order saying he CAN'T have full custody. "</blockquote>



All of this!



It is such a misconception that a mother needs to be found unfit...I wish people would stop perpetrating this myth.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18092 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" If he's able to be a better parent than you, then yes obviously he could get her full time. I would ... [snip!] ... have to go to court to get her back. It wouldn't be kidnapping because there isn't an order saying he CAN'T have full custody. "</blockquote>



Thats not how it works in the US.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18092 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" If he's able to be a better parent than ... [snip!] ... of this! It is such a misconception that a mother needs to be found unfit...I wish people would stop perpetrating this myth."</blockquote>




It must be very different in Canada.



The US is still very mother-centric. And a man who is not on a birth certificate has no right to take the child here. If he is proven to be the dad, he will probably be granted visitation of some sort.

Legendary Due August 27; 1 child; Beverly Hills, California 54389 posts
status 10th Nov '12
Quoting pilot Jess:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" If he's able to be a better parent than ... [snip!] ... because there isn't an order saying he CAN'T have full custody. "</blockquote> Thats not how it works in the US."


It's more accurate in the US than it is here, possession means significantly more to the courts than it does anywhere else in the world. No custody order means that who ever is in possession of the child is the one who keeps him/her until someone else fights that.

☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆ Due September 18; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Centralia, Washington 44154 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting pilot Jess:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" If he's able to be a better parent than ... [snip!] ... because there isn't an order saying he CAN'T have full custody. "</blockquote> Thats not how it works in the US."


yes it is

Piecey. 3 kids; K-Town, KL, Germany 61850 posts
status 10th Nov '12
Quoting pilot Jess:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" If he's able to be a better parent than ... [snip!] ... because there isn't an order saying he CAN'T have full custody. "</blockquote> Thats not how it works in the US."


It happens all the time.