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Would you tell your child they were abused? Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
10th Nov '12

If something traumatic happened to your baby and he/she had no recollection of it growing up, would you eventually tell them when they were a teenager/adult? Say for example, they were abused or molested by someone. Do you think they would have a right to know, or would you try to spare them that pain and confusion?

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting bbbt:" If something traumatic happened to your baby and he/she had no recollection of it growing up, would you ... [snip!] ... or molested by someone. Do you think they would have a right to know, or would you try to spare them that pain and confusion?"



Yes. When they were old enough to handle it.



I can see it going wrong and adding un needed stress on them etc...but not telling them and then them finding out through someone else in the family may turn out worse so Its a toughie but I think I would tell them.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
10th Nov '12

I wouldn't tell them as a teenager, no. I don't think I'd tell them at all, unless they started displaying some of the typical signs of abused people(withdrawal from others, not wanting to be touched, acting scared around anyone of the same gender as their abuser), particularly if they don't know WHY they're acting that way. Then, you might consider telling them, with the aid of a licensed therapist so they can start getting the help they would need.

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3467 posts
10th Nov '12

Tough one... yeah if they were displaying signs of having trouble coping or if they asked. I'd hate for them to find out on their own somehow.

lolajessup Due July 25; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
10th Nov '12

No because as someone who was sexually abused and knowing others who were sexually abused it does more damage than good. Even if you don't remember it's a hard thing to deal with. An a lot of people who were molested have many emotional and relationship issues.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 21595 posts
10th Nov '12

That's a tough one...I don't know what I would do in that situation

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
10th Nov '12

I don't think so. That could seriously freak somebody out no matter what their age, and ESPECIALLY if they are able to fully understand it when you tell them.

Gir! 2 kids; Ohio 7504 posts
10th Nov '12

Not until they were adults. My mother repeatedly reminded me and my brother of it growing up. He's gone off his rocker and I'm still shaky on some things. Like it's taken me more than a decade to feel OK to hug a friend. I used to have full blown anxiety attacks just by being in a crowd and touching others, or by being hugged by anyone except my gma. I was always pretty withdrawn and "so serious" as a child.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting lolajessup:" No because as someone who was sexually abused and knowing others who were sexually abused it does more ... [snip!] ... remember it's a hard thing to deal with. An a lot of people who were molested have many emotional and relationship issues."



See I see it the other way around, as someone who was abused. That because I was I would want to tell my child if it happened to them.



I didnt find coping with it all was hard in my own personal experience and I was abused for countless years and remember every single detail. It does not bother me at all. But for those reasons I am more enclined to tell my child.

Buzz and Almond Joys momm 2 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 12593 posts
10th Nov '12

I would and I don't know exactly when- that would be situation dependent. But more than likely I would as an adult./

*A&N's Mama* 2 kids; Halifax, Nova Scotia 4627 posts
10th Nov '12

No. What good would that do?

Monique and Dominic's mom 2 kids; Wyoming 2768 posts
10th Nov '12

I guess it depends, if it left physical scars, maybe.

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
10th Nov '12

Yes!! Me and my little brother were molested. I didnt know my little brother was tooo until a few years ago. My little brother was too young to remember but started having dreams of a man touching him. He thought that meant he was gay. All of it came out in therapy when my pparents told him what happened.

Gir! 2 kids; Ohio 7504 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting That Girl.:" Yes!! Me and my little brother were molested. I didnt know my little brother was tooo until a few years ... [snip!] ... of a man touching him. He thought that meant he was gay. All of it came out in therapy when my pparents told him what happened."


Whoa! Poor guy :( and you, too. Did he take it ok?

♥Mj&Daryl♥ 2 kids; Spokane, Washington 2392 posts
10th Nov '12

Yes, when they were old enough to understand.
As a survivor I would want to know.
You never know when it can affect you.
Or even how it can affect you on a subconscious level.