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Custody Questions ♥B&A 2 kids; Louisville, Kentucky 3257 posts
10th Nov '12

I need a little help with this. I'll just share the story first before my questions. I filed for child support July 2010. I kept getting the run around for about 6 months from the courts and everything until my daughter was born March 2011 and they pretty much gave us a new case for both kids. I decided to give BD a chance to pay and prove himself as a father before I went for custody or anything. A year passes and he doesn't see the kids at all and doesn't pay anything. He misses a few court dates for child support and gets a couple of bench warrants. I finally decide to file for custody. He of course didn't show up for the date where I filed the motion, so the judge gave me a hearing. I then get a letter in the mail saying HE filed for visitation for our kids because I 'refuse to let him see the kids'. Which is not true. So now we have a hearing date still for November 28th and I'm a little nervous about him getting joint custody or something. I thin the judge can read right through him and see that he isn't a great father. What are he chances of him getting his way? What do I need to prove to get full custody? The kids have always lived with me and he told the judge that. He doesn't even care.. He just filed this out of spite because I filed for custody. What should I expect realistically? The kids don't even know who he is... He lives in a terrible neighborhood which is always on the news because people are being shot. Their daycare is close to my house and he has no car or anything. Plus he's an alcoholic and I have proof of that. Someone with some experience help please!

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
10th Nov '12

If a father shows interest in visitation they will generally get it, even if it is supervised at your house or you have to meet in a neutral area.

sueforizzle 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Panama City Beach, Florida 2452 posts
10th Nov '12

From someone currently in the process of all this....



Unless he's been convicted of child abuse ect. The judge will grant him visitation.
I know it varies state to state....but that's basically the golden rule.

XavierRose Due January 14; 2 kids; Gilbert, Arizona 1716 posts
10th Nov '12

Depends on the stare. In NY, when I got served with visitation papers, I thought he was going to ask for just that. Well we get into the hearing and he tries to pull a fast one and ask for joint custody. I said no, and the judge told me for NY, both parents HAVE to agree, or joint isn't awarded. And she asked me why I didn't want him to have joint, so I told the truth. He was a flake, disappears for months at a time, and I refuse to have to call him every time I need to make a decision about her. She literally looked at me and went "fair enough, you are awarded full custody". He disappeared a few months later and we never saw him again.

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49130 posts
10th Nov '12

He will get visits and child support and custody have nothing to do with each other so even if he does not pay he will still get visits.... I have a child support case for my son and they sent my ex a letter telling him if he wanted custody he needed to file with the courts, but they never were able to serve him so im still waiting on my child support case.

♥B&A 2 kids; Louisville, Kentucky 3257 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting JiLLiAN.:</b>" If a father shows interest in visitation they will generally get it, even if it is supervised at your house or you have to meet in a neutral area."</blockquote>




That just sucks because the kids literally have no idea who is he. I really don't trust him alone with the kids and he has.shown no interest in then until I try to get it in writing that I'm the primary caregiver. I think he's just trying to lower his child support even though he doesn't pay anything on the current order. Plus the judge said if he doesn't make any payments by our November 28 date, he will be arrested and go to jail for failure to pay. Would that make a difference in the custody part of things?

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49130 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting ♥B&A:" <blockquote><b>Quoting JiLLiAN.:</b>" If a father shows interest in visitation they ... [snip!] ... 28 date, he will be arrested and go to jail for failure to pay. Would that make a difference in the custody part of things?"



nope only if its a voilent crime or something and they would most likely give supervised visits still.

Leash25 2 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 1592 posts
11th Nov '12
Quoting ♥B&A:" <blockquote><b>Quoting JiLLiAN.:</b>" If a father shows interest in visitation they ... [snip!] ... 28 date, he will be arrested and go to jail for failure to pay. Would that make a difference in the custody part of things?"


if the kids dont know who he is you can ask for supervised visitation. and if he doesn't show up file contempt. but i doubt he will get joint custody.

Morgan Ockwig 1 child; Port Orchard, Washington 1 posts
11th Nov '12

you need to get everything you can on paper. like if you have any texts, or messages of him showing neglect (not really caring about court dates, never seeing his kids) stuff like that. you basically have to prove legally what kind of father he, is if you dont want to grant visitations. but i honestly dont think it'll be a problem if he gets it. if he doesnt see them now that's not likely gonna change, just because he's doing this for spite, not because he cares. just make sure you get full custody so if he tries anything he'll just go to jail.