Reply

Cast Your Vote:

    • mad -- Votes: 3
    • mean -- Votes: 2
Child anger!! Christina143 Due December 28 (boy); 3 kids; Fruitland, Idaho 510 posts
10th Nov '12

Okay... So my 4 year old DS scares me at times, when I tell him or his dad tell him he can't have something he throws the biggest fit , he gets angry and screams his lungs off and then gets to "step up" to his dad to show him that he's boss and not us... And I've put him into his room and takin away things etc and nothing seems to be working :(

I had a BabyBumpBelly 17 kids; American Fork, Utah 34384 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting Christina143:" Okay... So my 4 year old DS scares me at times, when I tell him or his dad tell him he can't have something ... [snip!] ... him that he's boss and not us... And I've put him into his room and takin away things etc and nothing seems to be working :("

What is the poll for? Put him in time out where he can't get into anything (NOT his room). Spank?

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
10th Nov '12

LOL



Sounds like a normal, boundry testing 4 year old



Just be consitent. No need to fear your 4 year old

user banned California 8675 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kelly&Coralie:</b>" LOL Sounds like a normal, boundry testing 4 year old Just be consitent. No need to fear your 4 year old"</blockquote>




Ikr

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
10th Nov '12

He's just upse testing you. My 4 year old does the same thing. I let her know that I am the parent and explain why I won't give her something and I send her to her room and I ignore her. Her attitude hasn't gotten any better but she's still learning to express her feelings.

Jillian Lindsey 2 kids; Mosheim, Tennessee 2354 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting Christina143:" Okay... So my 4 year old DS scares me at times, when I tell him or his dad tell him he can't have something ... [snip!] ... him that he's boss and not us... And I've put him into his room and takin away things etc and nothing seems to be working :("

be consistent time out should be in an empty area with no toys or you can spank him

. , Richmond, VA, United States 75033 posts
10th Nov '12

Step up? :? Wth does that mean?



Can't have what? Things at the store? Cookies before dinner? It doesn't sound like he knows how to manage his emotions yet. It's not the end of the world to not get what you want but for a young child it can feel like it because they don't have the life experience to know it's very minor. Just sympathize with him, "I know, that toy looked really fun, huh? I'm sorry you're so upset." but also let him know that screaming isn't how we get what we want. Encourage him to take a few deep breathes and then use his words instead of screaming and freaking out. Kids are allowed, or should be allowed, to have feelings just like us but when they don't know how to appropriately deal with them they can come out in a tantrum or something similar.

Christina143 Due December 28 (boy); 3 kids; Fruitland, Idaho 510 posts
10th Nov '12

Thanks everyone, I am pretty consistent, I've tried spanking and it gets him even more mad, so I put him in his room he throws things and then a corner and he just runs... It's like he's the man of the house haha, my 6 year old has never acted like this so it has had me scared

Christina143 Due December 28 (boy); 3 kids; Fruitland, Idaho 510 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:</b>" Step up? :? Wth does that mean? Can't have what? Things at the store? Cookies before dinner? It doesn't ... [snip!] ... just like us but when they don't know how to appropriately deal with them they can come out in a tantrum or something similar. "</blockquote>




Step up when i mean is like he's gonna be the man and show dad he's boss so he normally hits when he don't get his way, he does it to his dad and not me... And by not getting things I mean everything. Candy, no pens u can have crayons instead just anything... I know he can throw fits and what not but to express anger like that is a bit scary, he even goes to school and his school says hes the sweetest kid ever.. and I say are we talking about the same child hahah

Jillian Lindsey 2 kids; Mosheim, Tennessee 2354 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting Christina143:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:</b>" Step up? :? Wth does that mean? ... [snip!] ... he even goes to school and his school says hes the sweetest kid ever.. and I say are we talking about the same child hahah"

when he raises his hand to hit grab it get down to his level make eye contact and firmly tell him we do not hit if you chose to hit you will be punished my nephew raised his hand to hit several times after being consitent with a swat on the butt and telling him hitting is not acceptable he stoped he hasnt raised his hand to hit in a longgg time

Christina143 Due December 28 (boy); 3 kids; Fruitland, Idaho 510 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jillian Lindsey:</b>" when he raises his hand to hit grab it get down to his level make eye contact and firmly tell him we ... [snip!] ... with a swat on the butt and telling him hitting is not acceptable he stoped he hasnt raised his hand to hit in a longgg time"</blockquote>




Okay another question then, how hard of a swat on the butt? Cuz I can spank.and it hurt my hand but does not even hurt my DS lol. He's like steel He drives me crazy cuz of how he has been acting :(

. , Richmond, VA, United States 75033 posts
10th Nov '12

I guess my opinion is unpopular but it's obvious why he hits. If you're hitting him, spanking or otherwise, why would he rationalize that it's not okay to hit? He's obviously going to learn that it is okay. Why does he go to his dad and hit when he doesn't like an answer he's given? Because he's spanked when you don't like his behavior.

Jillian Lindsey 2 kids; Mosheim, Tennessee 2354 posts
10th Nov '12
Quoting Christina143:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jillian Lindsey:</b>" when he raises his hand to hit grab it ... [snip!] ... spank.and it hurt my hand but does not even hurt my DS lol. He's like steel He drives me crazy cuz of how he has been acting :("

well i just used my hand he could tell i was not playing you can try the bare bottom or the back of the leg my parents used wooden spoons ive never used anything but my hand be paitent it may be a brutal couple of weeks but it works it took about two weeks to straighten out my nephew we used spankings and time out he sat in time out 1 minute for each year of age he was four and would spend 10 minutes in timeout because he had to sit quietly for 4 minutes

Christina143 Due December 28 (boy); 3 kids; Fruitland, Idaho 510 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:</b>" I guess my opinion is unpopular but it's obvious why he hits. If you're hitting him, spanking or otherwise, ... [snip!] ... he go to his dad and hit when he doesn't like an answer he's given? Because he's spanked when you don't like his behavior. "</blockquote>




I answered ur comment back.. I posted this to have ideas n help... Ur ideas are just as good as everyone else's... I have spanked before but spanking doesn't always seem to help... He gets spanked because he hits as soon as he is not given his way.. calm down no.need to get upset these post aren't meant for ppl to get angry or rude

Christina143 Due December 28 (boy); 3 kids; Fruitland, Idaho 510 posts
10th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jillian Lindsey:</b>" well i just used my hand he could tell i was not playing you can try the bare bottom or the back of the ... [snip!] ... out 1 minute for each year of age he was four and would spend 10 minutes in timeout because he had to sit quietly for 4 minutes"</blockquote>




Yea I wont use anything else but my hand, and I only do spanking when he is totally in the wrong with acting out and doing hitting with his dad, when he fighta with his brothers i seperate them, and that works but telling him no seems like that is just not acceptable .. he's just Soo diff from my older boy its not what I'm used to.. I'm sure if I stick to what I plan to do it will work!!! Thanks :)