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Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11574 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting KNZ.:" I could definitely see not being happy over that. I'm a walk-away'er, my dude isn't. "

See, I honestly didn't know (and still don't, really) if I overreacted or what. When I say I was mad I mean I was furious. I just felt so betrayed. It's not like he cheated on me, flirted with anyone, lied about anything, etc. but he chose to accept a ride from a person he knew I did not like and he also knew that if he did get a ride with her I would be worried sick about his safety given her history with DUIs.



And we're both walk away-ers. It's great. Any time we get frustrated with one another we take a break for maybe 10 or so minutes and then talk things out in a calm and logical fashion. In all of my past relationships we would just fight tooth and nail, sometimes for hours, and that's so f**king stupid.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting +Sunshine+:" You know what, I never realized how awkward it was after seeing you ask her this. Lol. With us, ... [snip!] ... make him a plate. Me and the kids ate in the living room. If he was in there, we'd eat in my room with their little table."


Haha, same, for the plate thing. I make dinner, and just leave his plate on the counter for him.
I also ignore all his "veggies 'n healthy stuff he hates" and make things the kids 'n i like.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting K&L's Mommy!:" well, he works overnights. so on the nights he works, he sleeps all day (as usual since he works 12 ... [snip!] ... we aren't around each other, nasty text messages get sent...but when we are around each other, we just pretty much don't talk."


sounds like us, minus the texts. kinda, ha. we were gone from 12 one day to 1 the next and only exchanged a few txts. they weren't nasty, they were more insightful/hurtful (if that makes sense)

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" See, I honestly didn't know (and still don't, really) if I overreacted or what. When I say I was mad ... [snip!] ... fashion. In all of my past relationships we would just fight tooth and nail, sometimes for hours, and that's so f**king stupid."


oh no, i'd be mad too.



and fighting is what broke us up before (separated for 2 yrs after our daughter) and we definitely argue differently now, there aren't screaming matches, but he's VERY irrational. (example: he sent something hurtful via txt about the kids, then denied saying it--while we were LOOKING at the text right in front of our faces) he doesn't process things well and i went so long letting him get away with behavior i shouldn't have, that now, it's hard to do things differently.

+Sunshine+ 2 kids; Texas 4149 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting KNZ.:" Haha, same, for the plate thing. I make dinner, and just leave his plate on the counter for him. I also ignore all his "veggies 'n healthy stuff he hates" and make things the kids 'n i like. "


Same! With him, he loves big meals that take me a while to make. The kids are fine with whatever I give them. So I got to slack a bit during then. Loved it. Haha.



What was more awkward was still picking up after him. I hate the house being a mess, and he's a messy person. The last week we were still mad at each other, I just left HIS mess still be there. Didn't realize how much messier he his than the kids even. Lol

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting +Sunshine+:" Same! With him, he loves big meals that take me a while to make. The kids are fine with whatever I give ... [snip!] ... still mad at each other, I just left HIS mess still be there. Didn't realize how much messier he his than the kids even. Lol"


OH GOD. we have the same life. i can't stannnnd the house a mess, and i hate that i still clean up after him when i'm mad. cos i don't want to but i just have to.
and yeah, my kids are WAY more organized than my 32 year old man human.

Jennay. 3 kids; Kansas 5045 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting KNZ.:" OH GOD. we have the same life. i can't stannnnd the house a mess, and i hate that i still clean up ... [snip!] ... when i'm mad. cos i don't want to but i just have to. and yeah, my kids are WAY more organized than my 32 year old man human. "


yeah, i still pick his shit up and pack his lunches for work. i haven't packed them every day though bc i'm pissed and don't want to do that for him...but then he'll just go get a bunch of fast food. (and i don't want him spending heaps of money...or eat so much shit)

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11574 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting KNZ.:" oh no, i'd be mad too. and fighting is what broke us up before (separated for 2 yrs after our daughter) ... [snip!] ... well and i went so long letting him get away with behavior i shouldn't have, that now, it's hard to do things differently."

Well that's a whole different kind of special, lol. You must be as patient as a saint. I'm sure if you're with him he has great qualities as well but not being able to admit something (with evidence right in front of him saying otherwise) must be pretty damn infuriating.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Well that's a whole different kind of special, lol. You must be as patient as a saint. I'm sure if you're ... [snip!] ... but not being able to admit something (with evidence right in front of him saying otherwise) must be pretty damn infuriating. "


Gah, yes, my patience for him gets me in trouble though. I'm just REALLY hoping at this point i didn't make a mistake giving us a second chance :( I know i can see some growth in him/us over the last couple years, i just hope we can keep the positive growth coming and just work on communicating & etc.

+Sunshine+ 2 kids; Texas 4149 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting KNZ.:" OH GOD. we have the same life. i can't stannnnd the house a mess, and i hate that i still clean up ... [snip!] ... when i'm mad. cos i don't want to but i just have to. and yeah, my kids are WAY more organized than my 32 year old man human. "


I had force myself the last week. Thankfully I worked all that week too. So when I was home with the kids, I just picked up whatever they did, or my dishes. Simple things.



He had mentioned while we made up how thankful of a "homemaker" I can be. He now helps out with some dishes and picking up a little before I get home from work. HA! Stepped into my side trap!

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting K&L's Mommy!:" yeah, i still pick his shit up and pack his lunches for work. i haven't packed them every day though ... [snip!] ... for him...but then he'll just go get a bunch of fast food. (and i don't want him spending heaps of money...or eat so much shit)"


ah, seriouslyyyy.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting +Sunshine+:" I had force myself the last week. Thankfully I worked all that week too. So when I was home with the ... [snip!] ... I can be. He now helps out with some dishes and picking up a little before I get home from work. HA! Stepped into my side trap!"


hahha!
my dude can be so annoying, the dishwasher is EMPTY yet he still puts his stuff in the sink (my 7 year old doesn't even do that!), but one time, he did something so dumbass'y, that he came up and did the dishes with out me saying anything, hahah, he just, knew.

+Sunshine+ 2 kids; Texas 4149 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting KNZ.:" hahha! my dude can be so annoying, the dishwasher is EMPTY yet he still puts his stuff in the sink ... [snip!] ... one time, he did something so dumbass'y, that he came up and did the dishes with out me saying anything, hahah, he just, knew. "


LMAO! I swear I will NEVER understand men. Such simple things go out the window. Mine for the longest time would use a new cup for almost every time he got a new drink. On a day off, he'd be using almost 4 or 5 cups that day. Then gripe about the sink being full. Like dang man, you're the one making it full. Lol. I eventually bought him his own stash of plastic cups.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting +Sunshine+:" LMAO! I swear I will NEVER understand men. Such simple things go out the window. Mine for the longest ... [snip!] ... the sink being full. Like dang man, you're the one making it full. Lol. I eventually bought him his own stash of plastic cups."


Oh geeeze, haha, seriously, these guys!

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11574 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting KNZ.:" Gah, yes, my patience for him gets me in trouble though. I'm just REALLY hoping at this point i didn't ... [snip!] ... over the last couple years, i just hope we can keep the positive growth coming and just work on communicating & etc. "

Well, know that you two recognizing these things to begin with is a really good sign. The fact that you're working towards a more stable relationship is an even better sign. A lot of people can't do either of these things.