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Attached "Sometimes"? =[ user banned
13th Nov '12

I never bonded with my baby when I was pregnant.



I didn't cry when she was born.



It was only a few months ago that I actually felt emotionally attached to her.



I've been a single mom since day one, and I have struggled to keep it together. I do love her, and I do everything I can for her. My daughter is my number one priority. I haven't even dated in over a year because I honestly don't see how I could have the time for a boyfriend and a daughter, because no matter what, she's going to be the most important thing in my life.



But I don't always feel...motherly. I feel dutiful most of the time. Like I'm just going through the motions.



And then, sometimes at night, I'll see her smile at me right before going to bed, and everything in the world just seems perfect.



Most of the time..I just don't feel like a mom.



I don't know what I'm doing wrong.....I don't take care of her out of love most of the time. I do it because I brought her into this world and it's my responsibility to take care of her.



I don't know what to do.



I feel like other moms just have this awe-inspiring love for their children, and I just don't have that.



Thoughts? Help?

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 23029 posts
status 13th Nov '12

Do you have PPD? Maybe

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" Do you have PPD? Maybe"


Can you still have PPD after 13mo?

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
13th Nov '12

I've never experience this personally but I know it's more common than you think. It sounds like PPD to me. I would talk to your doctor, mama.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" Can you still have PPD after 13mo?"


I have bipolar disorder already. I have a hard time getting attached to people.

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" Can you still have PPD after 13mo?"

If it's untreated, absolutely.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 23029 posts
status 13th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:</b>" Can you still have PPD after 13mo?"</blockquote>




I believe so. At least that's what the doctor told me.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting Lizplustwo:" If it's untreated, absolutely."


I'm getting treatment for the bipolar now, though. That should tie in with everything.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 23029 posts
status 13th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:</b>" I'm getting treatment for the bipolar now, though. That should tie in with everything. "</blockquote>




I imagine it could tie in.

Life is a Highway ♫ 18 kids; Australia 9381 posts
13th Nov '12
user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
13th Nov '12
Quoting Live Love Laugh ♥:" This is me. I love him so much and he is the most beautiful child ever but that connection/bond is definitely ... [snip!] ... is definitely not there like it was with my first. I blamed it on having a c-section. I have a mood disorder also. "


I'm sorry. I had a C-Section, too.



I hate that whenever I try to talk to people about this, they just tell me to get psychological help. Pills aren't just going to make me suddenly able to deal with this. I want to work through it.

Life is a Highway ♫ 18 kids; Australia 9381 posts
15th Nov '12
user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting Live Love Laugh ♥:" I know what you mean!! I am getting psychological help and have been for a while now but for me its ... [snip!] ... IMO and that's not why I reached out to begin with. Its been just over a year now that I first went in to get help smh! "


That's what I'm terrified of. Everyone says "Maybe it would help if Addie was in daycare for a little bit each day." I'm a single SAHM because I'm working on my disability for other issues. I have NO reason to have my baby in daycare! It's just really frustrating. I want answers on this on how to deal with it and get closer to my baby, not drugs. I have those. They're enough to get me through the day, but they don't make me feel more like a mom. They just stop me from wanting to off myself, minimum.

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
15th Nov '12

I've felt like this on and off...the first couple weeks I was head over heels gushing over my baby...then I sunk into PPD BAD and felt numb ..Then felt attached again around 3-4 months pp....then depression again and feeling numb until just recently...I had this guilt anytime I looked at my son...I don't understand it...but I'm glad I feel bonded and gushy again. Idk wtf is wrong with me...but I started making myself go out the whole day like walking around in the park/field/mall just him and me everyday for a week and it started going away. The whole time periods when I felt dettached I made sure he was taken care of and happy..but I still feel guilty like I missed out on his first year and somehow my bad energy rubbed off on him subconsciously or some shit :(...I had a C section too