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Well now, that was awkward. Devil's Advocate Beverly Hills, California 18191 posts
14th Nov '12

DD was just asking to look at photos of her when she was a baby (she's 3.5) and as I was clicking through, we came across photos of her grandfather (DH's biological father) before he passed away. She asked if he was scary and if he was ok. I didn't quite know what to say. I told her he was sick and he is in heaven with the angels now. I was backed into a corner. No idea if DH even wanted her to know him as her grandpa :?

Fides*Spes*Amor 35 kids; San Diego, California 26321 posts
14th Nov '12

She probably doesn't understand.. but she probably was scared to see someone in that condition- so that's why she asked if he was scary maybe?



I'm sorry you got cornered like that... :(

Evelynns Mama! 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 1735 posts
14th Nov '12

Were they not close or something? I don't see why it should matter.
Hopefully though, he doesn't mind. :)



Also, is that in Hospice of Dayton?? The photos

Layla's Momma ♥ 17 kids; California 4457 posts
14th Nov '12

Why wouldn't he?

Devil's Advocate Beverly Hills, California 18191 posts
14th Nov '12
Quoting Evelynns Mama!:" Were they not close or something? I don't see why it should matter. Hopefully though, he doesn't mind. :) Also, is that in Hospice of Dayton?? The photos"


No, he was cared for at home in North Carolina. He and DH were not close. He dipped out on his kids when they were young and was very violent toward my MIL. We only went down there so he could meet DD before he passed.

Devil's Advocate Beverly Hills, California 18191 posts
14th Nov '12
Quoting Layla's Momma ♥:" Why wouldn't he?"


He probably wouldn't mind but I would rather him handle it, KWIM? I mean, if she saw a photo of my mother and he told her that was her grandma, I'd be pissed.

DeanJade&Mak's Mom 3 kids; Covina, CA, United States 8822 posts
14th Nov '12

I rember when Dean pointed out a pix of my dad and told me that was his grandpa... and I got really uncomfortable... I had no idea how to handle it... and had no answers for him... just a blank stare, like, *he sure is ur grandpa, huh???*
I never even thought about it... he's been gone for so long, he's just *my daddy* I feel terrible, I hated not having a dad... but I adored my grandpa, and my son will never have that...

Mom2William&Michael 2 kids; 1 angel baby; New York 7600 posts
14th Nov '12

Been there! We ran into my ex-stepfather at the fair a few months ago and his sister's boyfriend referred to him as "Papa" to DS. DS was really confused and I really kind of blanked on what to say or do. The man was an abusive fuckwad and the only contact we've had with him since he and my mother separated is sporadic run-ins like that one.

Devil's Advocate Beverly Hills, California 18191 posts
14th Nov '12

I talked to DH about it. He was happy that she wasn't afraid. He wasn't upset that I told her that was her grandpa. I guess I just felt like because of the situation, it should be him to handle it instead of me.