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Boyfriends cheated in previous relationships Mummy :) 1 child; 1 angel baby; United Kingdom 997 posts
14th Nov '12

I split up with my SO of four years over 6 months ago but things were pretty much over way before then. I got together with my current boyfriend 3 months ago, every thing has been great can't fault him one bit.



A slight concern of mine is that he has told me he has never been faithful in any of his previous relationships. He has had four partners previous to me and although he never sleept with other women while with them he would kiss and play around with other women while in a relationship.



Alarm bells were ringing and i asked why he did that, he said many factors mostly because he was young, dumb and just didnt have strong feelings for whoever he was with. He says now he actually wants a serious relationship no messing around any more. As crazy as it seems i do believe him but am i setting myself up for heart ache? or do you think "once a cheat, always a cheat"

That girl Amber +2 2 kids; California 6981 posts
14th Nov '12

The fact that he told you is a big deal, IMO. I dont believe in always a cheater mentality.

Jamiee Flathers 17 kids; Missouri 235 posts
14th Nov '12

i think you should test the waters. see how things are gonna go. you might be setting your self up for heartache but what woman doesn't every now and again?

Mummy :) 1 child; 1 angel baby; United Kingdom 997 posts
14th Nov '12
Quoting Amberchik78:" The fact that he told you is a big deal, IMO. I dont believe in always a cheater mentality."


Yeah so do i, he said he wants to be 100% honest with me and has never been so open with previous partners. He feels like he cant lie to me he says.

✿LilyBear09✿ 1 child; Oregon 5006 posts
14th Nov '12

How old was he, and how old is he? Sometimes age can have something to do with it. If he is more mature now, he could really be ready to have a real relationship.

tooodles 240 kids; Thailand 5075 posts
14th Nov '12

I dont believe in once a cheater always a cheater. Ive cheated when I was young but never would now. I would like to think the fact that he was honest and told you is a good thing. He really could be looking for the real deal now and grown up. I personally would hate knowing that because it would place doubt in my mind if hes messing around or not ya know

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
14th Nov '12

Maybe he does honestly want to be loyal, but I'd be weary.

Mummy :) 1 child; 1 angel baby; United Kingdom 997 posts
14th Nov '12
Quoting ✿LilyBear09✿:" How old was he, and how old is he? Sometimes age can have something to do with it. If he is more mature now, he could really be ready to have a real relationship."

was 18-22 when this happened he is now heading to 26

♣ Lauren ♥ 1 child; League City, Texas 219 posts
14th Nov '12

I don't belive once a cheater always a cheater. . . reason being because I've never been very faithful untill my current relationship. . I don't even look at guys the same way and could never imagine life without him. I'd say it has something to do with growing up and some to do with the person he is. I wouldn't say not to worry at all but people do change. . .

Snow 1 child; Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
14th Nov '12

I do not believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater." The fact that he told you at all shows a lot about him.

✿LilyBear09✿ 1 child; Oregon 5006 posts
14th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mummy :):</b>" was 18-22 when this happened he is now heading to 26"</blockquote>




I think the chances are he is telling the truth. Some people argue that age doesn't matter, but the truth is it does. For the most part, age 18-22 is mostly a self centered time of life. With age, that can change.

Amanda Bayless 1 child; Meridian, Idaho 179 posts
14th Nov '12

He told you which means he is serious, just dont put your head in the sand, keep an eye out without getting weird controlling

Snow 1 child; Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
14th Nov '12
Quoting ✿LilyBear09✿:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mummy :):</b>" was 18-22 when this happened he is now heading ... [snip!] ... but the truth is it does. For the most part, age 18-22 is mostly a self centered time of life. With age, that can change."


:!::!::!:
DH turned 23 just one month after cutting ties with his ex whom he was cheating on me with.

scgALusc 3 kids; South Carolina 1716 posts
14th Nov '12

I believe the once a cheater always, but I've personally never been proven otherwise. However, I agree him being upfront is a great step in the right move and I am a benefit of the doubt kinda person.. people CAN change and get serious.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
14th Nov '12

I think you should give home a chance and trust him, but if you start getting alarm bells and suspect cheating (for good reasons like lying, sneaking off, breaking promises, etc) don't ignore your instincts.
I cheated on every precious relationship, but I have never been able to cheat on my husband. I have just never wanted to, he's so amazing and I just want to be honest and open with him and it's such a great feeling to be so comfortable and happy with my partner. I'm willing to bet hes being honest with you and want to be open with you.