As some saw, I was in the ER this morning receiving fluids and nutrients.
My SO just brought up something I didn't even fathom.
I was severely anorexic before I got pregnant, with a BMI of 15.3 at my lowest weight. He thinks I was subconsciously starving myself. The thought terrifies me. I've done so well lately. I've been eating, but maybe only the bare minimum without noticing.
He can't monitor me all the time, and that scares me.
I always figured I'd relapse at least one more time but I thought I wouldn't be providing for a fetus when I did.
I feel like the lowest scum of the earth.
I'm sorry mama, are you seeing a therapist? Don't beat yourself up. Do the best you can for your LO, and good luck
Quoting Just Ames:" I'm so sorry. Battling an ED is as hard as any addiction. Are you getting therapy for this? If not, maybe it's time to reach out and tap into some resources."
I've been going to therapy for it for almost 2 years.
Sorry mama. Could you try keeping a food journal to help remind you to eat?