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CIO WORKED! user banned
15th Nov '12

For our family, anyway. :D




DD is 13mo and had a messed up sleep schedule. She refused to nap, ended up going to bed at 6pm, waking up for a few hours around 1am, and finally waking up for the day at 7am. She was cranky and restless all the time, and frankly, as a new mom, I had no idea how to go about it.



A friend suggested I put her in her play pen for nap time, which she is NOTORIOUS for hating. If I'm holding her near it, she gets mad and starts getting squirmy. However, she really talked me into it, and was there for me emotionally through the process. I really think it was the right decision for us.



She cried for 15 minutes, not full on crying, but she kept saying "Mama!" and was really whiney. My friend told me to give her a little bit more time, but my mommy heart was breaking, and I had to go check on her. This made her cry a little worse, and for twenty more minutes. She went right to sleep after that, and slept for an hour in her play pen. She started crying after that hour, and I thought it was enough for her for the day, so I went and got her and we slept together for another hour on the couch.



After not napping at all for a few weeks, she was a completely different baby!



Last night I stayed out late at a friend's house with her, but she stayed up until 9pm and fell asleep on the couch. When I got home I thought "What the hell, she's already tired. Might as well try!" and I put her back in her play pen for the night.



She didn't like it, but she didn't cry. Her play pen is at the foot of my bed, so she could see me the whole time this time. She said "Mama?" a few times like she was unsure, but eventually went to sleep with no crying at all.



We're definitely going to keep CIO for a while, because I honestly think it's the best decision for our family.



I think it's working because she already has that reassurance that I'll be there. Co-sleeping for her whole life up until this point, in my opinion, has given her the confidence to graduate into her own sleeping space without much problem. I'm hoping today's nap is going to go even better, but if I have to, I will let her cry on this. She's happier today than she has been in a while, so I know she's not getting psychologically damaged from this.



Anyway, thanks for reading. If you're thinking about CIO, it CAN work, but only when your baby is ready for it! Being a single mom has been hard, but it let me co-sleep easier, which I think is really what is making the transition a little better. Any more advice on this would be appreciated, but I'm happy to say that I think a good sleep schedule is finally on it's way! :D

Ashleymca 2 kids; Ohio 420 posts
15th Nov '12

O boy, get ready for mamas who disagree..
I CIO with my oldest who is almost 4 bc I didn't know any better. And I don't CIO with my 13mo and I can see a huge difference.
All I'm gonna say is, it's a short term gain, long term loss.

Nikki Lawson 2 kids; Lexington, Kentucky 462 posts
15th Nov '12

We did CIO with baby number one and it worked beautifully. Of course she wasn't a little baby and she didn't cry very long but I found that if I kept try to comfort her she would just fight me. About 10 minutes of alone time and she would pass out for the night :) Glad you have a happy baby!! It's hard when they won't sleep. :(

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting Ashleymca:" O boy, get ready for mamas who disagree.. I CIO with my oldest who is almost 4 bc I didn't know any better. ... [snip!] ... And I don't CIO with my 13mo and I can see a huge difference. All I'm gonna say is, it's a short term gain, long term loss."


I'm fine with them disagreeing. I'm the one who has to deal with the consequences or benefits of my own actions, so there's nothing that someone could say to ruffle my feathers about it. Lol. I'm not new to BG. I have a much happier baby right now because of it, so I'm not sure where the loss is.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
15th Nov '12

Good job! And awesome for sticking through with it. lol



I get told a lot I am heartless for CIO methods lol on my kids, but its me, It does not bother me in anyway whatsoever to hear my kids cry. lol



DD is now 9 month sold and always went to bed on her own, but lately she is a bit more fussy when put in her bed, so I let her cry a bit till she goes to sleep.
I know what night she will be fussy too, just by her manner when I put her in her crib. lol
I usually walk out ofthe room say and 3 2 1 and by the time I hit 1 she is whining lol.



I usually runout for a quick smoke and come back in, lol if she is still crying I give her her paci, if she is lightly making noise I leave her (I never pick her up)
If she is beyond calming herself I always go in right away amd talk to her rub her back, shush her, give the paci, but again never pick her up, then I slowly walk out of the room while shushing her still and she will pass out on her own within min.



The longest she ver cried was 12 min, and it wasnt full on crying either.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting Nikki Lawson:" We did CIO with baby number one and it worked beautifully. Of course she wasn't a little baby and she ... [snip!] ... minutes of alone time and she would pass out for the night :) Glad you have a happy baby!! It's hard when they won't sleep. :("


Yeah. =[ I don't care if she doesn't sleep all night; she may STILL not. I just don't like seeing her cranky and tired because she's fighting sleep so hard. I've tried snuggling with her, playing with her extra so she gets super tired, giving her a bath before bed, all of that This was the last thing I tried, and I would never do CIO with her younger than she is now.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting Coupon Lady:" Good job! And awesome for sticking through with it. lol I get told a lot I am heartless for CIO methods ... [snip!] ... still and she will pass out on her own within min. The longest she ver cried was 12 min, and it wasnt full on crying either."


That's awesome. :D I'm hoping that it continues being like this for us. I know this isn't the best place to go for support for alternative parenting methods, but it's good to hear that it does work for some people. If your baby can self-soothe without even being upset for ten minutes, then I don't think you're being heartless at all. Haha.



I'm going to put her down at the same time this afternoon. Hopefully she's a little more comfortable with it like she was last night. :D



We're both well rested and in good spirits, we've already had breakfast and the living room is clean! It's been a while since we've both been this gung ho.

A, E & W's mommy 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Bulgaria 16433 posts
15th Nov '12

I'll start by saying it's your baby and your choice :) But I must also caution, much like the other poster, that I did that with my oldest because he was clingy and would often not go down well, it would take hours sometimes. He now has some attachment issues and even though he seemed to trust that I would always come and get him when it was time as a baby, now he seems to have trouble completely trusting me. With my middle and youngest child I co-slept and didn't CIO and I also noticed quite a remarkable difference in their attachment and trust for me. So even though it was a short term gain and seemed like it was working perfectly, we ended up with a long term loss. But like I said, that's just a caution, it is your baby and your choice :)

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" That's awesome. :D I'm hoping that it continues being like this for us. I know this isn't the best place ... [snip!] ... good spirits, we've already had breakfast and the living room is clean! It's been a while since we've both been this gung ho. "


lol
My friend always ran at the mer sound of her dd, so to her I am heartless. lol
IDK kids cry. I know her cues through and through. So I know when its gas or just a I dont want to sleep cry. lol Over all she is fussy 1-2 nights a week and she sleeps all night too so.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting A, E & W's mommy:" I'll start by saying it's your baby and your choice :) But I must also caution, much like the other poster, ... [snip!] ... perfectly, we ended up with a long term loss. But like I said, that's just a caution, it is your baby and your choice :)"


We've co-slept every night up until now. My bed isn't that big, so honestly she's gotten to the point where rolling over and bumping into me are keeping her up. If I had a bigger bed and she didn't have these nap time issues, we would still be co-sleeping...but my baby being well-rested is just as important as her health to me. I hope that we don't have long term issues, and I can understand how they happen, but I think it's more important that she has her own space so that she can actually get her rest at this point.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting A, E & W's mommy:" I'll start by saying it's your baby and your choice :) But I must also caution, much like the other poster, ... [snip!] ... perfectly, we ended up with a long term loss. But like I said, that's just a caution, it is your baby and your choice :)"



See for me I agree with CIO but not with co-sleeping. lol Thats one thing I will never bring myself to do, causes to many attachment issues. lol



But its the same, if it works for you thats awesome. It just does not for my family.lol :)

OhSoFKN Fabulous Due December 19 (girl); 1 child; Land O' Lakes, Florida 2314 posts
15th Nov '12

I let my son CIO.
If they fuss and you go in the room to get them every time, eventually they're going to expect you to come get them and they won't stop till you do..at least that's how it was for my son.
He always gets a little cranky when I put him in his play pen for a nap. My limit is 15 minutes of him crying before I go and get him. If he's screaming like he's dying then I will go and get him and wait a little bit longer before I lay him back down. I believe there is nothing wrong with letting a toddler CIO. An infant however, I believe it wrong.



Congrats for you on finding something that works.
Who cares who judges you, it's your child and as the mother you have to do what you think is best.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting Coupon Lady:" lol My friend always ran at the mer sound of her dd, so to her I am heartless. lol IDK kids cry. ... [snip!] ... when its gas or just a I dont want to sleep cry. lol Over all she is fussy 1-2 nights a week and she sleeps all night too so."


I never thought I would, but I know SO many different cries at this point. I can tell her "I'm hungry" from her "I just want a bottle 'cause I like it" cry. Haha. Now that her emotions are getting more complex, I'm started to tell an "I'm annoyed" cry and an "I'm mad!" cry. Mom always says "Omg what's wrong with her?" because all she knows is she's crying, and most of the time it's like, a toy isn't doing something she wants it to do or she can't reach something. Haha. I think I'm pretty in tune with her emotions.

Ashleymca 2 kids; Ohio 420 posts
15th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting A, E & W's mommy:</b>" I'll start by saying it's your baby and your choice :) But I must also caution, much like the other poster, ... [snip!] ... perfectly, we ended up with a long term loss. But like I said, that's just a caution, it is your baby and your choice :)"</blockquote>




My son is the exact same way. He is more clingy than ever.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting OhSoFKN Fabulous:" I let my son CIO. If they fuss and you go in the room to get them every time, eventually they're going ... [snip!] ... something that works. Who cares who judges you, it's your child and as the mother you have to do what you think is best."


I am definitely happy I waited this long to do it. I wouldn't suggest anyone do it to a child under a year at all. She didn't even "cry" cry when she did, it was a lot of whining, more like she was pissy about it. Haha.