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Crazy one 3 kids; California 17056 posts
Nov 15th '12

I had a fucked up life and never knew love until I met my husband and if anything not having love being ignored abandoned mentally and physically abused and molested just made me not want to get close to people and even now the only people that I can say I love you to without hesitation are my kids i can't even tell my husband that I love him even though I do. My kids are the only people I can be affectionate with too because I never had that but I want better for them and I am glad that it came naturally to love them and care for them even though it was harder to do with my daughter.

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
Nov 15th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Cade*Mak*Col*:</b>" Always my children.... I feel like that shouldn't even be a question for anyone. However, if I didn't ... [snip!] ... i got pregnant and I knew continuing the pregnancy would probably kill.me, id abort. So in that case my husband comes first."</blockquote>




I think that means your other kids come first

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting Crazy one:" I had a fucked up life and never knew love until I met my husband and if anything not having love being ... [snip!] ... for them and I am glad that it came naturally to love them and care for them even though it was harder to do with my daughter."


thats where you were lucky and i wasn't.. you were able to find a husband or at least someone who loved/cared about you before you fucked up your life. i wasn't that fortunate. it took me 10 years

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" but it all goes back to her not giving me enough attention and love that i went to such desperate measures to go about getting those things the wrong way."


Being able to acknowledge that much is a big step in taking accountability and letting go of some your baggage. Being able to recognize her faults and acknowledge the emotional harm it caused you is important to help you understand what your parenting can do to your own child.

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting Legendary Amanda:" :!: You're problem is accountability OP, you're always on here trying to justify shit asking us who ... [snip!] ... your son across the country, shit like that.. It's time you took some responsibility for the actions you made as an adult. "


i'm getting better about that.. but its gonna be tough as nails for me to not blame my mom for most of my f**k ups and no one here will ever understand why i blame her but she knows why and the guilt is still eating her up inside.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" i'm getting better about that.. but its gonna be tough as nails for me to not blame my mom for most ... [snip!] ... my f**k ups and no one here will ever understand why i blame her but she knows why and the guilt is still eating her up inside."


You act like you are the only person who had a shitty mom. People understand more than you think, you are incredibly egocentric.

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" You act like you are the only person who had a shitty mom. People understand more than you think, you are incredibly egocentric."


yeah but people deal with their problems in different ways and i shouldnt be made to feel bad because this is how i chose to cope with what i went through.

Crazy one 3 kids; California 17056 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" thats where you were lucky and i wasn't.. you were able to find a husband or at least someone who loved/cared about you before you fucked up your life. i wasn't that fortunate. it took me 10 years"

it wasn't easy I am a very hard person to deal with and I am surprised he stayed with me because I push people away and i do what it takes to get it done. He broke up with me because of it 7 years ago and it only made him want to go back to his ex because she was nice and I wasn't. He only wanted me for sex in the begining but I told him I didn't sleep with people unless I was going to be in a relationship and it would be months even if i did go out with him. so he ended up marrying the girl he only wanted for sex...
and I am mean and heartless \

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" yeah but people deal with their problems in different ways and i shouldnt be made to feel bad because this is how i chose to cope with what i went through."


It's your lack of coping that is the issue.

Crazy one 3 kids; California 17056 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" yeah but people deal with their problems in different ways and i shouldnt be made to feel bad because this is how i chose to cope with what i went through."


this is true.. my mom was raped at 9 and she decided to sleep around cheat on her husbands and have all of her kids with different men and abandon me because I was the kid that was supposed to make the man she wanted (my dad) stay with her and it didn't work so she hated me for it...

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
Nov 15th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:</b>" it was her guilt that made her do for my children what she never did for me. you dont know my mother like i know her so dont paint her to be a saint."</blockquote>




She did a lot for you that some moms wouldn't. Taking in you and 5 kids, then after you up and leavr for some dude who knocked you up and happened to be rich then going BACK TO HER with another on the way? Supporting all of you, feeding, housing. You're an ungrateful little shit, huh? You think any of that is owed to you?
She can't be all that bad.

user banned 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Los Angeles, CA, United States 3597 posts
Nov 15th '12
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia: you, feeding, housing. You're an ungrateful little shit, huh? You think any of that is owed to you? She can't be all that bad."


she's not anymore.



she kicked me out when i was pregnant, and then again when my son was only a few weeks old and i had to live with my baby dad's mom for a little while.

user banned California 8675 posts
Nov 15th '12

op you are literally resentful towards your mother and let me tell you this by you doing what you are doing your are hurting yourself not your mother. Get that straight it seems you want to blame everything on her and make her feel bad for it. You digging your own grave if you know what that means. Stop acting like a brat and just because you have a shitty mom doesnt mean you need to be that way. There is no excuse or anybody to blame except for yourself for bringing so many kids into this world.

Rob's Living Dead Girl Royersford, Pennsylvania 4275 posts
Nov 16th '12
Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" who comes first in your life??"

I'll try to learn from my relatives' mistakes and go with my children. :D

Thorian's Mommy 1 child; Westbrook, ME, United States 8454 posts
Dec 7th '12

I know this thread is old but i wanted to put my two cents in :)



My sons healthy and happiness with always come first but In minor things like droping what ever im doing to do his dirty laundry type thing then no....



My mother is an enabler. She has great intentions but enables my brother to do drugs, mooche or whatever it is that will make him happy at that moment. because of this it has ruined her marriage. if shes is having dinner wit my dad and my brother comes walking through the door and says wash my clothes...she does it.
I will always teach my son that he comes first but mommy and daddy need thier time too. But that doesnt mean if my son needs my help i will be there for him.