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user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting she nan igans:" Not necessarily. That isn't stated. A top priority means it comes before everything else. That includes ... [snip!] ... I think women are WAY to quick to shove their husbands into 2nd place and that it really does a disservice to families. "


Putting your children first, doesn't mean your marriage isn't also a priority. I think putting your husband first is a disservice to the children.

He Who Must Not Be Named 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59210 posts
status 15th Nov '12
Quoting she nan igans:" Not necessarily. That isn't stated. A top priority means it comes before everything else. That includes ... [snip!] ... I think women are WAY to quick to shove their husbands into 2nd place and that it really does a disservice to families. "


See, I agree with that. But I see a "top priority" as something slightly different.



Like... say I was at home, and was supposed to be having a special night with my husband, and my child called (say they're.... oh, 30) crying. I would still drop what I was doing to find out what was wrong. Though, if I was just "hanging out" with my child and hubby called me crying, I would drop what I was doing to help him, too.

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 2 kids; Colorado 20911 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting she nan igans:" Not necessarily. That isn't stated. A top priority means it comes before everything else. That includes ... [snip!] ... I think women are WAY to quick to shove their husbands into 2nd place and that it really does a disservice to families. "



not to me it doesn't include wants.



my kid wants every train in the damn world, doesn't mean I give a f**k.

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
15th Nov '12

I have a friend who's mom remarried when the friend was 18.
Her mom always put the husband first, always.




Well, when my friend was 20 her ride home from work bailed and she called her mom for a ride. Her and her husband were out having dinner and her husband didn't feel like leaving, so my friend had to walk home, and on the way home she was raped and left in the cold until a stranger found her.




That's the shit that happens when half ass moms put their husbands first.




Oh, and before anyone says "She should have her own car at 20" it was in the shop being fixed, she only went 2 days car-less.

user banned California 8675 posts
15th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:</b>" Putting your children first, doesn't mean your marriage isn't also a priority. I think putting your husband first is a disservice to the children."</blockquote>




True!

Commander Shepard 18 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 6447 posts
15th Nov '12

My children will always come first and I would hope that DH feels the same. Even after they've grown, they will still be my main priority. There is still so much more that we can teach our children as adults. I want to always be there for them and have them feel like they aren't burdening me, as I often feel with my dad..



My mom was hardly ever in my life to begin with and it hurts like hell.

the BEAST Wisconsin 15638 posts
15th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" Not necessarily. That isn't stated. A top priority means it comes before everything else. That includes ... [snip!] ... I think women are WAY to quick to shove their husbands into 2nd place and that it really does a disservice to families. "</blockquote>




:!: I agree with everything you've been saying.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
15th Nov '12

I'm of the opinion that children ALWAYS come before a partner. Your children will always be your children, but an SO could ask for a divorce tomorrow.



But that's jmho.

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, FK, Oman 61990 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" I have a friend who's mom remarried when the friend was 18. Her mom always put the husband first, always. ... [snip!] ... Oh, and before anyone says "She should have her own car at 20" it was in the shop being fixed, she only went 2 days car-less."


Fucked up :evil:

His momma! Due May 28 (boy); 1 child; San Antonio, Texas 328 posts
15th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:</b>" Absolutely not. :? Wtf? I'll always love her just as much as I do now, she will always be the most important."</blockquote>




This.
My son will always be my baby even when he's 60

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting
Mrs. Conan O'Brien 2 kids; Colorado 20911 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" :lol::lol::lol:"


:wink:



But yea I agree w/ part of what she said, like if I'm chilling w/ my husband at home & my kid calls & is all, "Uh... could you go buy me some milk at the store?" I'd laugh & hang up probably.

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Fucked up :evil:"


Tell me about it.



The next day she changed her number, email, and never spoke to her mother again. She left a message on her mother's door that said "Hope your husband was worth my mental, emotional, and physical well being. Even the rape didn't hurt as bad as the fact you were okay with risking it for a nice meal with your dick of a husband. f**k you b***h, the only good you ever did for me was teach me everything to NOT be as a mother. You'll never speak to me again."




And I don't blame her one bit.

user banned California 8675 posts
15th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Commander Shepard:</b>" My children will always come first and I would hope that DH feels the same. Even after they've grown, ... [snip!] ... aren't burdening me, as I often feel with my dad.. My mom was hardly ever in my life to begin with and it hurts like hell."</blockquote>




I totally agree with this! My mom to this day isnt much help nor do I need anything from her but the essentials of a mothers is there from her part.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
15th Nov '12
Quoting maegenn ♥[19weeks]:" My kids. Always my kids. Then DH. If I like him that day :) I don't know how a mother could think to choose her SO over her children."


Because she has generally a longer standing relationship then with her husband then her children :-P. Believe me it's pretty common in many places of the world for kids and so's to be valued the same at least.