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I feel so hurt.... Miss. Tiff Due November 20; 33 kids; Odessa, Missouri 2874 posts
16th Nov '12

My dh has on many occasions messed with me while I was sleeping (i take a sleeping aid) like playing with my b**bs I told him to stop I'll wake at night. . & I was upset etc. .... This has happened SEVERAL times. Thena couple times I've woke with him messing with my butt. I confronted him & he said he was rubbing my butt, I do like butt rubs ( not while I'm asleep)
Then he just did it again last night.... & I confronted him again & told him I knew he was lying & doing more.
That if he ever did it again I would NEVER sleep in the same bed with him.



Thinking about it makes me sick, disgusted, betrayed & hurt. Idk this man any more. He has a high sex drive. We have sex often & if not I " fix" him. He has porn if needed. ...
I've been hurt by guys like this before & I believe & trusted in him & now I'm angry I'm hurt & I feel embarrassed.
I don't know the point in this really, I just had to put this down some where. & notto any one I know.
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❤ ʘlive Oyl 4 kids; 6328 posts
16th Nov '12

:( That is seriously disgusting. Sorry... But you need to be extremely firm with him and lay the law down. Sorry you have to deal with this. I'd get all Bobbit on his ass. :evil:

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11574 posts
16th Nov '12

Not that you said this has happened but marital rape is a lot more common than people realize. It is, of course, just as wrong as rape between two unmarried people.



With that being said, have you been very forthright with him? I know you said you told him to stop but was it in a meek fashion? Sit him down the next time you see him, look him dead in the eye, and tell him you are not going to let him do this anymore. Don't ask him to stop doing it. Take the reins with this one. If you do this he'll be less likely to take advantage of you. If he STILL does it then once again take control by sleeping elsewhere until he gets the point.

Van West Auckland, NZ, New Zealand 3169 posts
16th Nov '12

That is so wrong, i couldn't be with someone who would do that to me. Sorry you are going through this.

pennylove 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Australia 1324 posts
16th Nov '12

i feel for ya, my SO does the same thing he grabbed my vag the other night while i was asleep and so was he, its strange i usually just tap his hand outta the way and he leaves me alone. I only notice he is like this when we dont have alot of sex. i mean we have sex but he wants it 24/7 :shock:
i guess seriously talk to him about it, if he does not wanna listen to how your felling well maybe he is not worth it"

⚓Misty⚓ 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7272 posts
16th Nov '12

Im assuming that he doesnt think your serious or that theres anything wrong with what hes doing. I would sit down & have a serious talk about it

Miss. Tiff Due November 20; 33 kids; Odessa, Missouri 2874 posts
16th Nov '12

I told him exactly that. I told him he was an ass..... Etc. I won't deal with it.
He's been changing sooooo much & it's not the sweet man I knew. Idk if he just knows I'm not going any where or what?

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11574 posts
16th Nov '12
Quoting Miss. Tiff:" I told him exactly that. I told him he was an ass..... Etc. I won't deal with it. He's been changing sooooo much & it's not the sweet man I knew. Idk if he just knows I'm not going any where or what?"

Have you actually sat him down and told him you won't allow it anymore? Don't ask him to stop right after he does it. He won't take you seriously that way. Instead sit him down and have a serious conversation in which you TELL him to stop. Empower yourself by not standing for this anymore. If he continues to do it then one of you gets to sleep elsewhere until he comes to his senses. This shouldn't be happening and it sounds like he doesn't recognize the fact that this is wrong for him to do. He might be interpreting the way you're asking him to stop as playful and not serious. You need to be very, very firm with him and do it on your own time instead of waiting for it to happen and then confronting him afterwards. Just slapping his hand away, telling him he's an a*****e, and asking him to stop clearly isn't working so you need to be more firm.



Good luck.

Miss. Tiff Due November 20; 33 kids; Odessa, Missouri 2874 posts
16th Nov '12

Last night was it!! It's brought too much shit back from my past with men./relationships
He's never been like this except last couple months. It seems. I said yea it might be a different story if I wasn't on my period & you wanted to wake me for sex first.

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
16th Nov '12

Ugh.. My first husband would try to rape me in my sleep.. I had another where I would wake up to him staring at me, leaning over the bed and masturbating. So I COMPLETELY understand. You have every right to be pissed. Do you have a guest room where you can get your own bed and put a lock on the door so you can sleep and feel safe?

Lois. 1 child; Pennsylvania 2653 posts
16th Nov '12

I'd feel so violated. You don't have to put up with that. That's completely wrong of him.

Miss. Tiff Due November 20; 33 kids; Odessa, Missouri 2874 posts
16th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Unique Mama:</b>" Ugh.. My first husband would try to rape me in my sleep.. I had another where I would wake up to him ... [snip!] ... be pissed. Do you have a guest room where you can get your own bed and put a lock on the door so you can sleep and feel safe?"</blockquote>




I feel safe. I had explained that it was molesting me. he admitted he's wrong & he shouldn't do it. He was stupid for doing it.



Other than this in the past few months I've been so mad I slept on the couch. I had NEVER slept without him in the while 7 years! .... He's becoming some cocky mf. And saying girls always want him.... Idk I just know he's changing into someone I don't like nor know. I'm feeling just here. .

Reise's Mommy 2 kids; Kentucky 1722 posts
16th Nov '12

No. Do not let him do that. If he seriously won't stop, leave. I mean it. I dated a guy for over a year who used to do things like and eventually he started raping me. It wasn't violent rape or anything, but I didn't want to he knew I didn't want to, but he would just ignore me saying I didn't want to and I would just cover my face and cry and let him do what he wanted so he would stop. I was molested for years as a child and that didn't f**k with my head near as much as being wrongly touched and raped by someone I was actually dating. You have every right to be upset and feel the way you do.

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11574 posts
16th Nov '12
Quoting Reise's Mommy:" No. Do not let him do that. If he seriously won't stop, leave. I mean it. I dated a guy for over a year ... [snip!] ... as being wrongly touched and raped by someone I was actually dating. You have every right to be upset and feel the way you do."

That is f**king terrible... I can't imagine my husband doing something like that =/ It would be absolutely heartbreaking and infuriating all at the same time.

user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
16th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Unique Mama:</b>" Ugh.. My first husband would try to rape me in my sleep.. I had another where I would wake up to him ... [snip!] ... be pissed. Do you have a guest room where you can get your own bed and put a lock on the door so you can sleep and feel safe?"</blockquote>




My ex used to do the same masturbation crap to me. Creepy and disgusting! I thought this situation was unique.., maybe not.




OP-
Put your foot down! I personally do not mind of my DH molests me in my sleep (unless I am crazy tired, then I might just punch him in the face) because I'm always in the mood for him.



But if this has a sinister feel to you, or as you have indicated you feel violated, then you need to find a solution.



Maybe you should go a few nights without your sleeping aids to find out whether he is respecting your wishes. Because of you don't want him to do that, it is a violation and it needs to end.