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spoiled ? Miss Ashley +2 2 kids; New York 3790 posts
17th Nov '12

at what age do you think babies become spoiled?



My 3 week old (i know still very young so im not worried about it right now) but all she ever wants is me to hold her.



its hard to accomplish anything holding her all the time ... so i usually have the baby carrier with me ... but im affraid when it comes to going back to work and etc.

*~Stella's Momma~* 1 child; Missouri 1654 posts
17th Nov '12

You can't spoil a baby. Buy a moby wrap and wear her.

~Ba.zin.ga~ Due December 4 (girl); 1 child; Under your bed, OO, United States 3951 posts
17th Nov '12

I think at 1 yr old they can become spoiled. But younger than that, no I don't believe it.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
17th Nov '12

You can't spoil a child with love.

justwanttodelete Due July 23 (girl); Switzerland 1021 posts
17th Nov '12
Quoting ℳary ℐane:" You can't spoil a child with love. "

i agree! and especially not a baby

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 21952 posts
17th Nov '12

Toddlers need to start learning boundaries but infants cannot be spoiled

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5670 posts
17th Nov '12

i dont think it can spoil them, but i think it can make them too clingy

Aren Morris Due May 6; Japan 1 posts
17th Nov '12

well my baby boy doing aswome ;) :o:o

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
17th Nov '12

I think until about 1 they can't be spoiled. Beyond that it isn't about holding, it's about boundaries. They need boundaries (which I guess can start before 1) and wanting to be held a lot isn't really a boundary that needs to be set.

~*Flibbertigibbet*~ Helena, Montana 821 posts
17th Nov '12
Quoting Jays*Mama:" i dont think it can spoil them, but i think it can make them too clingy"


Actually, research shows that babies who are held often from birth and responded to within a reasonable amount of time (ie. not letting them get to the point of all out crying) are more independent than those who were left to cry it out or who had to learn to comfort themselves very early on.



OP, at 3 weeks old your baby is in the midst of what's referred to as the "fourth trimester". Basically, because of how our pelvises are shaped in order to allow us to walk upright, our babies are born more helpless than other primates because they have to be born earlier than they should be...otherwise, we'd never be able to birth them due to their size. So the first 3 months after birth are like a fourth trimester in which your baby is trying to orient herself to the outside world. She's been held, rocked, shushed, and been warm and secure inside you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the last 9 months. Even if you hold her for 18 hours a day, it's a HUGE cutback to what she is used to. As was mentioned, get yourself a Moby wrap (or make one...they're super easy and don't require sewing... Get 4 yards of t-shirt fabric, cut it in half lengthwise, and you have TWO Moby-style wraps). You still won't be able to get everything done, but your baby is only little once and she needs you more than she needs the house to be clean right now. Try to enlist a friend or family member for help at this time, and if baby's dad is in your life, have him give you a hand as well. If you wear her, respond to her cries, etc. you will find that she is more apt to be able to soothe herself when she's older, more apt to play alone while you get stuff done, more apt to explore, and less apt to be clingy.

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5670 posts
17th Nov '12
Quoting RainbowDash:" Actually, research shows that babies who are held often from birth and responded to within a reasonable ... [snip!] ... herself when she's older, more apt to play alone while you get stuff done, more apt to explore, and less apt to be clingy. "

I totally didnt read all that, way too long. But my son had to be held 24/7 as a baby even to sleep (hell for me of course). He was super clingy and still is pretty clingy and hes almost 4. He hates being left alone. When i first started taking him to daycare, he would have separation anxiety super bad for months.

Miss Ashley +2 2 kids; New York 3790 posts
17th Nov '12
Quoting Jays*Mama:" I totally didnt read all that, way too long. But my son had to be held 24/7 as a baby even to sleep (hell ... [snip!] ... He hates being left alone. When i first started taking him to daycare, he would have separation anxiety super bad for months."



this is what i am affraid of



of course I know my 3 week old isnt spoiled i already took into consideration the fact that she has been inside me for 9 months so its a hugggeee adjustment - when i go to work she isnt going to be in my arms - cleaning the house etc i have the baby carrier already and have no issue using it.. in fact i love it. I just don't want to 'harm' her by not being able to console her all the time - but i don't want it to get to the point where she just NEEDS me all the time to remain calm. My 4 year old just broke out of sleeping in the bed with me. I pushed it too far with her obviously & i dont want to go through that again

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5670 posts
17th Nov '12
Quoting Miss Ashley +2:" this is what i am affraid of of course I know my 3 week old isnt spoiled i already took into consideration ... [snip!] ... broke out of sleeping in the bed with me. I pushed it too far with her obviously & i dont want to go through that again "

I think some babies are different too. I have a 9 week old little girl now, and she is nothing like what my son was. She doesnt always have to be held, she sleeps in her crib just fine and doesnt have to be held to sleep (thank goodness!), i think i got lucky with this baby lol If my baby isnt crying or fussy i just do different things with her, i dont hold her constantly. I put her in her swing or bouncy, or sometimes she likes to just lay on the floor and look around. When she starts getting fussy i just do something different with her. That way i can get a little bit of stuff done around the house at a time while shes not fussy. Ill even bring her in the kitchen with me and let her swing in there so she can atleast see me. But babies dont need to be held 24/7, obviously if they are crying then yea. Good luck!

Miss Ashley +2 2 kids; New York 3790 posts
19th Nov '12
Quoting Jays*Mama:" I think some babies are different too. I have a 9 week old little girl now, and she is nothing like what ... [snip!] ... in there so she can atleast see me. But babies dont need to be held 24/7, obviously if they are crying then yea. Good luck!"


Thank you much. I am going to try doing different things with her.