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My boyfriend is a recovering drug addict...I'm scared to los Bethany Scovill Due March 26 (boy); Japan 10 posts
18th Nov '12

Hoping to find anyone dealing with a similar situation. My boyfriend used drugs for a long time before we met. He was using when me met and still until our twin daughters were almost a year old. He hid it very well though and even though I kicked him out again and again, I always let him back. He is in a drug treatment program through the court now and has the drive to stay clean; he goes to numerous NA meetings and counseling, plus has a JOB for the first time in years. He's doing good but I just have such a fear he will fall again and it doesn't help that my trust in him is shot...we are expecting again and I can't imagine taking care of them all on my own...Of course, if it comes down to it I would be fine and would defnitely get sole custody if he decides to use drugs again....hope to hear from you and find some friends in this battle!

☃ ❄ ☃ ~, FL, United States 68358 posts
18th Nov '12

I guess I can't fathom why you'd willingly have more children with him.



You should try to go to NA meetings with him and try and support him if he's making an effort to stay clean.

ma ♥ 1 child; California 63053 posts
18th Nov '12

You better be careful too because if he starts using again & you allow him back into the home with the children, you yourself can actually lose custody of those children. Getting pregnant again when you knew he was a drug addict is completely irresponsible IMO, but I guess that's none of my business. Good luck & hopefully he stays on the right track!

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36713 posts
18th Nov '12
Quoting
Bethany Scovill Due March 26 (boy); Japan 10 posts
18th Nov '12

I don't need opinions, I was looking for anyone in similar situations but thank you...drug addiction has been classified as a disease; would you love your SO any less if they had cancer or diabetes? Just because he has had an issue, doesn't make him any less of a person, he's a great father and supported me fully while I dealt with cancer. He would never use drugs around our children. I do support him by getting him to and from these meetings and listening to him and the things he has learned from counseling. I'm starting an Nar-Anon group in our hometown, as there is not one, to help others cope with a loved ones addiction and recovery. I will fight for him and support him as long as he is willing to fight for himself.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36713 posts
18th Nov '12
Quoting Bethany Scovill:" I don't need opinions, I was looking for anyone in similar situations but thank you...drug addiction ... [snip!] ... with a loved ones addiction and recovery. I will fight for him and support him as long as he is willing to fight for himself."


I would leave an SO if they had that problem. Too bad you got opinions. I think it is stupid to bring another life into the situation.

Damien*Dex*Jaidyn's Momma 18 kids; Pennsylvania 1535 posts
18th Nov '12

I am a recovering addict and so is my husband. We have 6 months clean. I went to rehab(my 4th) and was finally able to stop. My husband is on methadone. I am 23 weeks pregnant. Has he ever hit rock bottom? Has he ever had to suffer the horrible consciences of what drugs do? If not then it is highly possible for him to relapse. It is good that he is doing the NA, cousoling and doing what the court has ordered him. A good sign to look out for is when he starts to slack off. Comes up with the excuse that oh its been a while I don't need that shit anymore. I have 6 months and to be honest, using crosses my mind a couple times a week. When it does I stop what I am doing and think about the pros and the cons. I also say the serenity pray like 20 times a day. Good luck. I really hope he can do it.

☃ ❄ ☃ ~, FL, United States 68358 posts
18th Nov '12
Quoting Bethany Scovill:" I don't need opinions, I was looking for anyone in similar situations but thank you...drug addiction ... [snip!] ... with a loved ones addiction and recovery. I will fight for him and support him as long as he is willing to fight for himself."


You can't know that he wouldn't use drugs around the children. It's always a possibility.

** A.J's Mommy** 1 child; New Paltz, New York 807 posts
18th Nov '12
Quoting Bethany Scovill:" I don't need opinions, I was looking for anyone in similar situations but thank you...drug addiction ... [snip!] ... with a loved ones addiction and recovery. I will fight for him and support him as long as he is willing to fight for himself."

I am in a similar situation... however my SO wasn't into "hard" drugs. He is on probation and would be facing jail time if he is not clean when he goes to meet with his probation officer. I commend you for handling the situation as well as you are. I think it is wonderful that you are supporting him and helping him through this I know it's not easy. Congrats on your pregnancy! That is very exciting.... I'm sorry some of these ladies are bashing you, that's not right. Growing your family is a beautiful thing =]

Bethany Scovill Due March 26 (boy); Japan 10 posts
18th Nov '12


Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" I would leave an SO if they had that problem. Too bad you got opinions. I think it is stupid to bring another life into the situation."



Sorry, I'm not arguing, you obviously have not had to deal with this and that's good for you. I don't need everyone's "help" again, thanks.

☃ ❄ ☃ ~, FL, United States 68358 posts
18th Nov '12
Quoting ** A.J's Mommy**:" I am in a similar situation... however my SO wasn't into "hard" drugs. He is on probation and would be ... [snip!] ... very exciting.... I'm sorry some of these ladies are bashing you, that's not right. Growing your family is a beautiful thing =]"



It's not a beautiful thing when drugs or alcohol addiction is involved.

Bethany Scovill Due March 26 (boy); Japan 10 posts
18th Nov '12


Quoting Moody Momma:" I am a recovering addict and so is my husband. We have 6 months clean. I went to rehab(my 4th) and was ... [snip!] ... think about the pros and the cons. I also say the serenity pray like 20 times a day. Good luck. I really hope he can do it. "



Thank you and congrats to you and keep up the good work! He has hit rock bottom, he went to jail on our daughters' birthday and had a hard time forgiving himself for that. He has been clean from the hard drugs now for 11 months; he did slip up during the beginning of his treatment and smoked weed but other than that, he has done well. I know when he's using; I know how he acts. He knows I will also drug test him on the spot if I suspect and inform his PO and that would be the last straw.

** A.J's Mommy** 1 child; New Paltz, New York 807 posts
18th Nov '12
Quoting
Damien*Dex*Jaidyn's Momma 18 kids; Pennsylvania 1535 posts
18th Nov '12
Quoting
☃ ❄ ☃ ~, FL, United States 68358 posts
18th Nov '12
Quoting ** A.J's Mommy**:" Why are you being negative!?! Her and her SO are doing everything right for now. She clearly said that ... [snip!] ... making the right choices to fix the situation and are heading in a good direction. Growing your family IS a beautiful thing."


If that's what you want to call being "negative."