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i need advice!!!!! leilani&cynthiasmommy Due November 17 (boy); 18 kids; Arizona 123 posts
19th Nov '12

okay so me and my ex were dating for a month and broke up in march because i was having too many problems with my babys dad and he was having problems with his family.....so when we broke up we both decided to keep messing around because we still liked and care about each other alot we also live together......well i just recently found out that i am pregnant and it was shocker to us because i didnt think i could have anymore kids from what the doctors told me......well when i found out about the pregnancy he told me he didnt want to be with me because of the baby and i said okay because i tried that with my daughters dad and it didnt work......so like 2 weeks ago he told me he wanted to try to make things work and i said okay.....he said lets take things day by day and see what happens......right now i text him after he left for work and i asked him if we are still trying to make things work and he said if it happens then let it but dont ask questions......is it me or does that sound mean????? some of his actions make me think im being a bug to him or something.....

GavinsMomJohnnysWife 2 kids; Texas 2789 posts
19th Nov '12

He sounds like he doesn't want to commit to you or your unborn child. I don't think that he's going to be long term material. I also think the longer that you two go back and forth the more attached you will get. It sounds like a crappy place for you to be, pregnant and with other children. :/

Never too late Bellevue, Nebraska 153 posts
19th Nov '12

If my SO had some thing like that I would have thought it was mean. But hell I found out mine was cheating te day after I had our LO and we are trying to fix ours so obviusly I'm not a good judge right now!

Amy Lynn07 33 kids; Florida 966 posts
19th Nov '12

Yes it does sound mean. It sounds like he doesn't want to commit and be with just you either. Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. What makes me think that is he said don't ask questions.

leilani&cynthiasmommy Due November 17 (boy); 18 kids; Arizona 123 posts
19th Nov '12

it makes me mad that he said that too for me not to ask questions....but i do need to add that were under alot of stress because of bills and stuff....so when hes stressed he thinks im out to hurt him.......he told me he does want to be with me but right now he cant think of it because all the stress going on in our house.....he doesnt talk to any girls and he doesnt want me to talk to any guys......he tells some people that im his girlfriend and he tells me its okay if i tell people im his girlfriend......he said the only thing that bugs him about me is that im always jealous but it has gotten worse since ive been pregnant

Amy Lynn07 33 kids; Florida 966 posts
19th Nov '12
Quoting leilani&cynthiasmommy:" it makes me mad that he said that too for me not to ask questions....but i do need to add that were under ... [snip!] ... said the only thing that bugs him about me is that im always jealous but it has gotten worse since ive been pregnant"

If you don't mind me asking how old are ya'll? Maybe he just doesn't want to make it official incase something happens and he doesn't want to hurt you. Also it sounds like he is under enough stress to even think about having a girl friend. I don't know I wish I had the answers you are looking for but it sounds like he wants to be with you but just has alot going on and relationships can cause more stress and he doesn't want that.

leilani&cynthiasmommy Due November 17 (boy); 18 kids; Arizona 123 posts
19th Nov '12
Quoting Amy Lynn07:" If you don't mind me asking how old are ya'll? Maybe he just doesn't want to make it official incase ... [snip!] ... like he wants to be with you but just has alot going on and relationships can cause more stress and he doesn't want that."


he is 25 and im 22......yea he tells me that he thinks a girlfriend will cause him more stress.......the reason he hasnt had a girlfriend is because how stressed he is and now with me being pregnant were more stressed.....he is always telling me that he doesnt know what to do anymore and that he feels like giving up on life....

Amy Lynn07 33 kids; Florida 966 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting leilani&cynthiasmommy:" he is 25 and im 22......yea he tells me that he thinks a girlfriend will cause him more stress.......the ... [snip!] ... more stressed.....he is always telling me that he doesnt know what to do anymore and that he feels like giving up on life...."


If it were me and you really cared about him I would just stick my his side. It sounds like you both already had alot of problems and now on top of it your pregnant. Hang in there I know it's tough me and my husband have been going through issues since I got pregnant and he got out of the Military but things are starting to fall back in place. Money issues can cause alot of stress on a relationship. Good luck and just be patient if you want it to work. If both of yall want it to work it will in time. Just try not to rush anything. Good luck

leilani&cynthiasmommy Due November 17 (boy); 18 kids; Arizona 123 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting Amy Lynn07:" If it were me and you really cared about him I would just stick my his side. It sounds like you both ... [snip!] ... be patient if you want it to work. If both of yall want it to work it will in time. Just try not to rush anything. Good luck"


thank you.....me and him have had alot of problems and we have been to hell and back so i think in the end he will realize im here for him and that im not leaving his side.....he always tells me how happy he is to know he has me.....yea money problems have really been messing us up.....i just want us together....i know that we are a good couple because when we dated before we never fought and we were just good together.....ill give it time all the time he needs