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family issues (vent!) Pickle Due September 2 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 4205 posts
20th Nov '12

So basically about a month ago my cousin who lives 2 hours away and i see MAYBE twice a year commented on my facebook post where i had said "feeling this third trimester big time can't wait for my precious boy!" which i didn't think was anything bad at all. She comments saying at least it isn't the first trimester be thankful for that and quit bitching. First off she has NO children but she's a CNA so she thinks she knows everything when it comes to anything medical highly obnoxious. I just commented saying the third is a lot worse than the first in my opinion and i think a lot of pregnant ladies would agree. she FLIPS going off how i'm throwing her infertility in her face although her husband had a vasectomy not infertility she knew it when she married him. she goes on saying how i'm complaining about being pregnant by saying i'm tired and such on my status. finally i lost it i'm like first off you have never carried a child so before you start judging take a step back i'm not judging you for your infertility as you say because i knew nothing about your personal situation until lately. she goes on to say i'm a unthankful mother and i don't deserve my child which PISSED ME OFF i can't easily forgive that. needless to say she sends me a message weeks later saying she was off her anti depression meds and doesn't remember what we even fought about... seriously? i gotta see her this thanksgiving at the family dinner and i'm dreading it because i'm just done with it.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
20th Nov '12

You should've been the bigger person & deleted the comment and put her on ignore. Personally, I think the first trimester was the worse. After that, everything went smooth but all pregnancies are different.

*mommy to 3* Due March 7 (girl); 2 kids; Virginia 1167 posts
20th Nov '12

Sounds like she's having a hard time coping with wanting a child and having a husband who has had a vasectomy. Which in no way amounts to her having fertility issues. Her husband had a procedure so he wouldnt have anymore kids. That should have been discussed before marriage. I think her comments to you were wrong, but I think in reality she is jealous of your pregnancy. I would just delete her from my friends list and move on. Hopefully she will contain her anger/jealousy better at thanksgiving when all of the family is there to see how she behaves.

Pickle Due September 2 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 4205 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting Heeeeeey, Sexy lady. ;):" You should've been the bigger person & deleted the comment and put her on ignore. Personally, I think ... [snip!] ... Personally, I think the first trimester was the worse. After that, everything went smooth but all pregnancies are different."

i did delete her after. she's a b***h and has been on my back for years i finally couldn't take it anymore i normally always would walk away. but it doesn't work with her. I never had morning sickness but this last trimester has been probably the most intense of my whole pregnancy.

Due 12th March :) Due March 11 (boy); Londonderry, United Kingdom 218 posts
20th Nov '12

What a b***h :/ she knew her partner couldnt have children when she married him! Dont let her make you feel bad for writing things on your Facebook that's what its for for you to share your pregnancy with others i would just ignore her at this dinner

Daryl Dixon 2 kids; North Carolina 1544 posts
20th Nov '12

Yea, she was being a c**t but, you shouldn't have argued with her. I know you have raging hormones but, you should have just ignored her.

Pickle Due September 2 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 4205 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting *mommy to 3*:" Sounds like she's having a hard time coping with wanting a child and having a husband who has had a vasectomy. ... [snip!] ... Hopefully she will contain her anger/jealousy better at thanksgiving when all of the family is there to see how she behaves."

My family seen everything she said on facebook and my other cousins have also refused to talk to her from the way she has acted so if she causes anything at thanksgiving i'm just going home it's not worth ruining my holiday for.

*mommy to 3* Due March 7 (girl); 2 kids; Virginia 1167 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting Andrea0510:" My family seen everything she said on facebook and my other cousins have also refused to talk to her ... [snip!] ... from the way she has acted so if she causes anything at thanksgiving i'm just going home it's not worth ruining my holiday for."


Well if your family has seen and disapproved of her behavior then im sure they will help keep her in line at Thanksgiving. And my belief is that if she is the one to cause drama at dinner then she should kindly leave. Hopefully your family feels the same.

Pickle Due September 2 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 4205 posts
20th Nov '12

I think anyone who gets something like that thrown at them especially about their child is going to be defensive especially when it's a family member. i walked away and didn't say anything more but i would feel shitty if i didn't stand up for myself.

Pickle Due September 2 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 4205 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting *mommy to 3*:" Well if your family has seen and disapproved of her behavior then im sure they will help keep her in ... [snip!] ... belief is that if she is the one to cause drama at dinner then she should kindly leave. Hopefully your family feels the same."

She's been a drama queen for years so it's nothing new at the family events.

3rdxsacharm Due April 29 (girl); 2 kids; Burdett, New York 159 posts
20th Nov '12

Wow!!! I can honestly say I probably would have flipped a little too. It's your facebook if she doesn't like it she doesn't need to read it. It's your natural right to say what ever you want/think/feel on your own status I guess it would be different if you had said it to her personally instead of on a public post. My husband had a vesectemy before we were married too because he never wanted kids of his own now I am pregnant with our "miracle baby" cause it failed but before that I knew he had it and was okay with it because I love him and I had two girls already before we even go together. I think your cousin needs to be happy for you and if she isn't happy with her situation change it don't take it out on you..

Pickle Due September 2 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 4205 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting 3rdxsacharm:" Wow!!! I can honestly say I probably would have flipped a little too. It's your facebook if she doesn't ... [snip!] ... I think your cousin needs to be happy for you and if she isn't happy with her situation change it don't take it out on you.."

congrats on your baby :D

3rdxsacharm Due April 29 (girl); 2 kids; Burdett, New York 159 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting Andrea0510:" congrats on your baby :D"


Thanks bunches :)

Chacha Torres Due March 8 (boy); Fontana, California 5 posts
20th Nov '12

Ive had family issues like crazy never over pregnancy... but ive had my issues with friends and pregnancy.... Im not a quick to forgive person n i tend to hold o the stuff tht just piss me off more.... im the type to say if your not happy for me then thats ur problem not mine. im also the type who doesnt deal well with b.s. so my advice to you is just move foward and if she is jealous or watever it is tht she is....let her be tht she has to deal with it.... you just need to deal with you ur baby and ur life... dont let others piss u off n bring u down. Ive learned tht family no matter how close or far... They arent always going to be happy for u...my family os dissapointed in me for being pregnant and not married.... but i dont care im in a happy healthy relationship thats what keeps me happy. me being pregnant shouldnt n doesnt effect anothers life negatively..... if anything they gain a blessing... but yhey dont see it tht way and i dont care because i im blessed to have an amazong person in my life.......its always easy to think negative always.... challenge yourself to try n think positive... Good luck :-D

*mommy to 3* Due March 7 (girl); 2 kids; Virginia 1167 posts
20th Nov '12
Quoting Andrea0510:" She's been a drama queen for years so it's nothing new at the family events."


I would just try my best to avoid her then and remember that he words are out of anger and jealousy. I struggled with infertility and I was angry and bitter at every woman i saw that was pregnant. But I didnt take it out on them, nor would I EVER say they didnt deserve their child. Her situation is a bit different, but she's coming from a similar place of hurt.But dont let her words get to you, just b/c you take some time to complain about your pregnancy discomfort doesnt mean you dont deserve your child. I've never met a pregnant woman that never complained about anything her whole pregnancy.