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fallen out of love? MaxiT Due December 31 (boy); 1 child; Durban, South Africa 2 posts
21st Nov '12

I just don't know if the pregnancy hormones have messed me up really badly - or if i have simply fallen out of love with the father of my baby -
In the beginning of my pregnancy i was totally put off having sex - my boyfriend was not allowed to even touch me or hold me in bed - i used to shudder at the very thought of it. He lives and works in another town - so is with me every 2nd weekend - and the weekends he would fly in i would almost dread, knowing i would reject him. I was told to relax and that my drive would return in the 2nd trimester - and so the 2nd trimester came, but i certainly didn't.
I think somewhere in the 2nd trimester i started feeling more and more animosity and anger toward to BF - i have not enjoyed being pregnant - and him not being around or 100% present has made it worse.
i have for quite some time now felt totally disconnected from my BF - and hugely irritable when he is around. I don't think it is just the hormones. I don't think i want to be with him anymore - and that is hard to admit - seeing as our baby arrives next month.
My friends have advised me to not do anything rash - and wait for the baby to arrive - as it could be my hormones playing games with me - so that is what i will do.
i just hope that it really is just the hormones - suppose we'll wait and see



has anyone else experienced this turn-around of emotion toward their partners?

homes cool TTC since May 2014; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60979 posts
21st Nov '12

Emotions come and go, they really do. I strongly believe that at some points in our lives, love is an action - the emotions follow.



What did I do? I literally sat down and wrote out a list of ways that I could show him I loved him. I didn't feel it emotionally at all, but I made the choice to show him I loved him anyways. The emotions came back rather quickly, to be honest. I have to be intentional about it though, especially when we're in a difficult spot in our marriage.

MrsWilliams154 Due June 24; 17 kids; Oxford, United Kingdom 1094 posts
21st Nov '12

It's called pregnancy hate apparently (my husband ended up searching the internet and asking a counselor what was going on) and I felt the same. I hated the sight of him, his voice - everything! The thought of his hands on me made me wretch. I felt better after the baby was born (except when he didn't pull his weight) but we're OK now.



Don't make rash decisions until a few weeks after the birth - hormones are lethal!

Complete with 2! 2 kids; Maryland 1486 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting MrsWilliams154:" It's called pregnancy hate apparently (my husband ended up searching the internet and asking a counselor ... [snip!] ... didn't pull his weight) but we're OK now. Don't make rash decisions until a few weeks after the birth - hormones are lethal!"


This!
My first symptom in pregnancy is I start to "hate" my DH. Just his voice only would make me wanna puke, lol.

*A&N's Mama* 2 kids; Halifax, Nova Scotia 4627 posts
21st Nov '12

Hormones ARE lethal. I think that at one point in pregnancy, women do resent SO. I was a huge hateful b***h in my first trimester. While that has calmed down I still don't want sex. I'm ready to pop and haven't wanted sex the whole 9 months but would have sex to keep my poor DH satisfied. It's not his fault my sex drive is non existent.
I agree with everyone else, don't do or say anything rash. After LO arrives you're really going to need SO around to help out. And once the hormones settle, guaranteed you'll be grateful you didn't act upon the pregnant hormones

MrsWilliams154 Due June 24; 17 kids; Oxford, United Kingdom 1094 posts
21st Nov '12

Also, if you really hate him during labour, bite him (I did) - it felt GREAT!

Kay Peezy Due October 29 (girl); 2 kids; Maryland 2062 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting MaxiT:" I just don't know if the pregnancy hormones have messed me up really badly - or if i have simply fallen ... [snip!] ... just the hormones - suppose we'll wait and see has anyone else experienced this turn-around of emotion toward their partners? "

Yes. I know I love my husband with all my heart but I can't stand the thought of him being near me or touching me. It's BIZARRE. I actually get physically sick if he tries to be romantic or cuddle with me and I have to take my anti-nausea medicine from my OB. lol For whatever reason, I'm okay with having sex as long as there's no kissing or cuddling involved. You're not alone so hang in there and don't act on your emotions. I can't wait for April so I can start to feel normal again! :)

MaxiT Due December 31 (boy); 1 child; Durban, South Africa 2 posts
22nd Nov '12

Thanks for the responses - :D That there is such a thing as pregnancy hate is good to know. Not that i hate him - but yeah - it sure does explain why everything about him annoys and irritates me.