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Deleted. GL♣PC♥BC 3 kids; Atlanta, GA, United States 9395 posts
21st Nov '12

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JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
21st Nov '12

Allow him to come. Wanting to see his baby has nothing to do with your issues with him. However, you two need some marriage counseling. Trust me, lying is not something you want to deal with in your marriage. Its not right. Nip it in the bud now.

MrsWilliams154 Due June 24; 17 kids; Oxford, United Kingdom 1094 posts
21st Nov '12

I wouldn't let him go, his drink breath would make me heave too.



Men can be suck PRICKS!



Have a nice scan today and think positive :) Are you hoping for a certain gender?

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15028 posts
status 21st Nov '12

He deserves to be there for his childs gender scan. Regardless of what he said to you, that's still his child. Why do women never recognize the wrongs they do? It was wrong of you and your friend to track them down like they were unattended children. If he went somewhere he wasn't supposed to be, that's a reason to maybe be upset, but you don't track them down.




He was acting a fool, that's what alcohol does to people. I wouldn't want to end my marriage because my husband acted like an idiot ONE night. I understand you're stressed, but I think it's a stupid reason to end a relationship completely.

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
21st Nov '12

No matter how stupid he was he deserves to be there to see his child's ultrasound. :/

Daphne Westcott 17 kids; Johannesburg, South Africa 410 posts
21st Nov '12

Im sorry this might sound ugly but its just how i am i would prob ignore him completely and i wouldnt even let him know i was going for the scan and make him beg my forgiveness lol

S♡J=Malachi Due January 8 (boy); 3 angel babies; Florida 3278 posts
21st Nov '12

Let him go. You guys may make up & regret him not bring there to share in y'all special moment.

GL♣PC♥BC 3 kids; Atlanta, GA, United States 9395 posts
21st Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" Allow him to come. Wanting to see his baby has nothing to do with your issues with him. However, you ... [snip!] ... counseling. Trust me, lying is not something you want to deal with in your marriage. Its not right. Nip it in the bud now."</blockquote>




I understand that, but this was a part of our anniversary, he pulls this the night before our anniversary. He obviously didn't care about me nor the baby last night when he had me stressed worrying about him.
He doesn't do things like this. He doesn't drink, ever and he started two new medications this week that you aren't supposed to drink on. His employee on the other hand does this quite frequently to his wide and doesn't come home most of the time, he is the one that had this genius plan.
Because of one incident I don't think we need counseling, but I am not okay with being lied to. He never lies, he's my best friend, why I feel down right betrayed.

~*~HeatherC~*~ 1 child; Ontario 1579 posts
21st Nov '12

It's his child too and he deserves to be able to see him/her no matter how mad you are at him for last night IMO. I would be pissed too if DH pulled something like that but I would not punish him by not allowing him to find out the gender of his baby. Good luck :)

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15028 posts
status 21st Nov '12
Quoting GL♣05/08/2013:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" Allow him to come. Wanting to see his baby ... [snip!] ... we need counseling, but I am not okay with being lied to. He never lies, he's my best friend, why I feel down right betrayed."

Exactly, it was a 1 time thing. It started with him going out to comfort his friend. People are allowed to make mistakes and he's obviously sorry for it now.

MrsWilliams154 Due June 24; 17 kids; Oxford, United Kingdom 1094 posts
21st Nov '12

Thing is, if you do let him come, will YOU be on the table during the scan in a bad mood? That's not fair either - especially when it wasn't your fault.



He knew it was today yet you were up all night searching for him with your baby that you had to wake and then you had car trouble.

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
21st Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting GL♣05/08/2013:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" Allow him to come. Wanting to see his baby ... [snip!] ... we need counseling, but I am not okay with being lied to. He never lies, he's my best friend, why I feel down right betrayed."</blockquote>




Okay. I understand being hurt he lied to you. However, there is nothing in your OP that makes me think it is even remotely fair to take him away from a special moment with his child. It seems like your feelings are hurt (I would be upset too) and you are lashing out to hurt him. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Cortney Maynard Due March 31 (boy); 1 child; Perrysburg, Ohio 20 posts
21st Nov '12

i think you have the right to be angry and not wanting him there and the gender scan is also understandable. I think you should not have him there at the scan cause to be honest if he wanted a divorce and put you through what he did last night then give him a taste of being alone knowing that people of divorces/breakups do things alone. go to the gender scan alone just hand him a picture and keep going let him figure out what the gender is, then sit down with him later explain everything he did last night and how it made you feel, express that him throwing divorce in your face was cruel and caused you to go on an extreme emotional roller coaster. then let him know with how hurt you are he needs to prove to you what he really wants and to gain trust back for what he has pulled. When it comes to stuff like that don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and stand firm (stand your ground) if you ever need any help let me know I have been through some ridiculous shit with my ex... (we where only boy/girlfriend when I was pregnant)

((-We Did It!-)) 1 child; 1 angel baby; Iowa 659 posts
21st Nov '12

What does letting him find out (with you) if his child is a boy or girl have anything to do with you and him period? In my opinion that's already using your baby as a weapon. No offense, but I just see plenty of women do this all of the time.
So he went out to a strip club and didn't want to tell you. I guess after everything you've typed, I can see why he lied about it. As for his coworker.. a tracker on her husband's cell phone? I think they need counseling more so than you and your husband. That's just insane!



Whatever you decide to do, I hope you realize everyone makes mistakes.

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
21st Nov '12

It was one night of him being stupid. My DH has done it once or twice too. Just let it go. Not saying you should pretend everything is fine, I sure wouldn't. I probably wouldnt say a word to him for the whole day unless I had to. But let him go to that scan. It's about the baby, not about you or him.