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Honest opinions please. long That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
21st Nov '12

Am I being way to hard on dh and expecting too much? We are struggling with a few problems right now and Im beginning to wonder if I just have something wrong with me to where I bitch and get upset of little things.

Me and dh both work full time. He gets off at 12:30 p.m. and I get off at 4:30 p.m.
He gets off and goes and hangs out either at home and watches tv or naps or goes and hangs with friends. I get off, get lo then get dinner get it ready and feed lo and dh. Dh use to put lo down at night and it was the ONE thing he would do. Well now he's not wanting to do it, and keeps saying Im his mom I shouldn't have a problem doing it.

Another issue is dh recently started hanging out with a old friend. The reason that didn't really hang out is because he not only is a coke head, was selling drugs. But he also is bisexual secretly and put his dick on dh's back. Well dh did nothing but bad mouth this guy saying he even loaned this "friend" $100 and never got paid back. He also is a cheater. Tried having me and dh lie for him to his gf saying he was with us. I wouldn't do it. And he is needy always looking for a handout. Sometime lastyear dh's bestfriend came into town and all the old gang got up. Well this friend I do not like started texting dh all the time. Was trying to get dh send him a pic of his dick. Now after reading all of the history am I wrong for not wanting ANYTHING to do with this guy. I don't trust him, he didn't have respect for me when he was crossing the line with dh. And he is trash. Well dh and him are hanging out again and we fought about it lastnight. I said I didn't want to be around him, and I DO NOT want him around our son. And that I just feel very uncomfortable around him and about the situation all together. Obviously dh will do as he please but I will not be okay with him coming to my home.

And last dh has a problem with porn, he will go weeks without touching me because he is jacking off ALL THE TIME. I tried explaining to him it becomes a problem when it effects out relationship. That it really hurt my feelings that he has chosen porn over being with his wife.

BαtMαɳ Gotham, __, United States 68278 posts
21st Nov '12

First issue: That's a dick move on his part. YES you are his mother but he is his DAD as well. It shouldn't just be on you to take care of LO.



Second: Hell no. I wouldn't want my DH to have anything to do with that kinda person either.



Third: That would upset me as well. I have no problem with Porn until something like that happens, then it's an issue.

Wife and Mommy of 4 4 kids; California 804 posts
21st Nov '12

No, you are not being too hard on your DH. He should be helping you out with your kids, and I would not be happy at all with him hanging out with that "friend" of his.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
21st Nov '12

He should be helping around the house and with the kids, it's just as much his responsibility
Is your husband bisexual? or have a drug problem? I don't see why he would even want to be around someone like that..

Janessa * 1 child; Everett, Massachusetts 629 posts
21st Nov '12

i feel the same way, so i dont think you're being hard on him. my boyfriend lives with me to help with our baby, but he rarely helps because he thinks he doesnt need to because he works and i stay home with the baby..i think you're being reasonable.
and as for that friend, if i wasnt comfortable around him i wouldnt allow him in my home,esp. around my child.. simple as that. if they dont like it, then thats too bad.

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 22168 posts
21st Nov '12

Honest opinions...



You aren't being too hard on him, he should be helping out with LO and the household.



I wouldn't want him to hang out with that kind if friend either.



I would guess he's hanging out with him for one if two reasons: drugs or sex or possibly both. I don't know your DH so I can't say if this is a plausible guess or not but it were me this would be my train of thought.




Same with the porn, I was assume cheating is the issue and not porn.




He seems genuinely unhappy in the relationship.

Freya D Due December 27; 1 child; Brookings, Oregon 1196 posts
21st Nov '12

i don't understand why your dh dosen't pick up ds why pay for the extra daycare if dh is just sitting at home whacking his putt. i think i would shut off the internet and toss all his porn. and the friend needs to go

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 22168 posts
21st Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Freya Dunlap:</b>" i don't understand why your dh dosen't pick up ds why pay for the extra daycare if dh is just sitting ... [snip!] ... just sitting at home whacking his putt. i think i would shut off the internet and toss all his porn. and the friend needs to go"</blockquote>




He's a man, not a child. If he wants to watch porn he can, if his wife doesn't like it he can choose to stop or not to. If he chooses not to she can choose to either stay and accept it or leave. Adults are free to make their own choices and trying to prevent him from doing that is only going to create further marital discord.

Hairspray 18 kids; Ohio 7391 posts
21st Nov '12

Why does your DH want to be friends with a man who has put his dick on him and wants pictures of his dick? That would seem really weird to me.

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" He should be helping around the house and with the kids, it's just as much his responsibility Is your ... [snip!] ... Is your husband bisexual? or have a drug problem? I don't see why he would even want to be around someone like that.."


No he is not bisexual.. He use to be really into drugs before he got a job with the state. And that is what I am wondering. I honestly think its because dh doesn't have many friends so he's basically just trying to have anyone. He closest friend live in atlanta. I tried to explain to him lastnight its not JUST because he tried to pursue you. It goes way past that.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting That Girl.:" No he is not bisexual.. He use to be really into drugs before he got a job with the state. And that ... [snip!] ... friend live in atlanta. I tried to explain to him lastnight its not JUST because he tried to pursue you. It goes way past that."



I don't think it's normal for him to want to hang out with the guy if there isn't more going on. I would be concerned that there is something sexual between them, and he is putting your health at risk.

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
21st Nov '12

Yeah I remember your last post about this "friend" and I already think DH should stop hanging out with him and bringing him around your family.



There are so many things wrong with this.
SO and I both work full time but you better believe that when we were working different schedule our son was never in daycare a minute more than he needed to be!! And he spends every second he's not working with our son whether I''m there or not. We hang out as a family, or we're sleeping lol

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting Spencer Pratt:" Honest opinions... You aren't being too hard on him, he should be helping out with LO and the household. ... [snip!] ... Same with the porn, I was assume cheating is the issue and not porn. He seems genuinely unhappy in the relationship."


I think Im crazy. Because dh says he's not bi or like men at all, but it makes me wonder why hang out with a guy who wants your dick. Oh and out of 5 of dh's old group of friends 3 came out to be bisexual a few years ago. I guess I could be overthinking it though.

We got into an arguement the other night and he screamed you aren't houding me for sex so you must be going to someone else to get it. Seriously wtf I never would do that let alone when Would I have time?? Now I screamed back I have no time to step out but you have until 6 p.m. to do whatever you do. You are the one most of the time who says "well have sex tomorrow" because he's too tired or not in the mood. But he's always in the mood for porn. I asked him to be straight with me. I said is It something Im doing to make you not want sex? He says no he likes having sex with me. Then I was like well I just don't get it. He chokes up and wont explain to me whats going on.

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" I don't think it's normal for him to want to hang out with the guy if there isn't more going on. I ... [snip!] ... isn't more going on. I would be concerned that there is something sexual between them, and he is putting your health at risk."


I seriously have put this into thought :( But I feel wrong for thinking he would ever do this to me especially with a man. I've thought about putting a teddy cam or something in the living room or my bedroom. I know thats so wrong, and illegal but I can't stop thinking about this shit. I know I should trust dh but he does try and hide things from me and lie to me. Like dh and this guy were hanging out yesterday and when I called to see if he had went to comcast cause he was suppose to already dropped this guy off he didn't answer and responds to my call with a text. So i called when I got out of my doctors appt and he answered and I could here the dude next to him. I was like you said you dropped him off. He was like no not yet this was like 2 hours later.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting That Girl.:" I seriously have put this into thought :( But I feel wrong for thinking he would ever do this to me ... [snip!] ... I could here the dude next to him. I was like you said you dropped him off. He was like no not yet this was like 2 hours later."


Do it.