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Getting respect/understanding? *ventish* Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 5008 posts
21st Nov '12

I'm having a hard time trying to get DH to respect my job. He works 8 hour days in a food service industry as a lead/manager. So basically he just sits at his desk/area until he is needed. I work 5 - 8 hour days in freight at Kohls. So basically I bust my ass moving boxes, going up and down stairs, unloading the big rig etc. I get cut up, bruised and scraped on a daily basis. I work early mornings (usually 4am/5am) so I can be a part time SAHM with DD when DH goes to work. I sacrifice my sleep to make sure DD doesn't have to go to daycare and we can save money.



I am having a hard time getting DH to understand that yes, while sometimes I work less hours then him my job is more strenuous. I get home from work and I am tired. My muscles ache and I hurt. Today I got hit by a 15lb box on my face when a tower got knocked over and I when I got home (at noon) I just wanted to take some medicine for my headache and get ice for my forehead/cheek bone. DD came up to me and she was still in jammies and her hair was a mess, DH's response "I am tired. I worked last night"
me: "well I worked this morning"
him: "I work longer so I am allowed to be more tired. Besides your job is nothing compared to mine. You're a stay at home mom with a part time job, I work full time so I am allowed to be more tired and not help out around the house"



I am starting to hate him because he belittles what I do. I work hard, I bust my ass and yet apparently I don't do enough. I just don't know how to approach this with him without it seeming like I'm trying to argue :oops:

Cecily's Mama 1 child; 3781 posts
21st Nov '12

No way would i let him talk to me like that. Sit him down and tell him your job. Explain everything you just said here.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
21st Nov '12

I'm having this problem too. I work 40 hrs a week, but I'm gone about 12 hrs because I have to bus my kid to school, bus to work, them back.



He works 12 hr days but he has a car so only 30 minutes total commute.



I think it's pretty even and I still manage to have dinner ready and the house clean every night but he still bitches that he's so tired and I'm lazy because I go to bed at like 9 pm :?




If you find out how to kick him in the ass and get him to understand, let me know :?

Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 5008 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting kelsey054:" No way would i let him talk to me like that. Sit him down and tell him your job. Explain everything you just said here."


I've tried telling him what I do and he basically just lets it go in one ear and out the other. According to him I have no idea what he has to do at work so I can't compare my job to his. I used to work with him when I was pregnant as a lead so I'm pretty sure I remember what the leads/managers did.
I am just tired of being disrespected.

US Expat in Europe 1 child; Sofia, Bulgaria 1385 posts
21st Nov '12

I'm sorry to hear that... How does he not get what your job entails? Do you not get paid or what?



Some men lack compassion. It took me a long time to make my husband realize that we are in this together-family unit, parenting, bringing money home, etc.



Communication is key, it might seem to him that you are bitching about stuff, but so be it, he will have to hear you out.

Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 5008 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting dat uterus tho:" I'm having this problem too. I work 40 hrs a week, but I'm gone about 12 hrs because I have to bus my ... [snip!] ... lazy because I go to bed at like 9 pm :? If you find out how to kick him in the ass and get him to understand, let me know :?"


I definitely will.
I used to do the long commute thing and work only 8 hours but be gone for 12-13 hours. I can't imagine doing that with a kid in tow. Definite super mom kudos to you!