should i tell them? LIVE.OUT.LOUD Due July 11 (boy); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Lawrenceville, Georgia 1624 posts
21st Nov '12

I have a 1 yr old and a 2 1/2 year old. I recently had a miscarriage. When they are older should I tell them they have a little brother or sister in heaven? If so how do I tell them? What is a good age?

loser mom 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, Norway, ,,, Europe 12225 posts
status 21st Nov '12

ehhh.... I wouldn't tell them unless the subject of pregnancy loss ever came up. Even then, I may not tell them unless they're teenagers.

Uh-Nis-Uh [EBF] 2 kids; West Virginia 15190 posts
21st Nov '12

I didn't find out until last year that my mom had a miscarriage before me. It kinda sucked finding out so late..

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
21st Nov '12

personally, i wouldn't. i would tell my daughter when she is of age to have children, just in case it may be a genetic reason as to why you miscarried.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 23103 posts
21st Nov '12

My mom had a miscarriage after me but before my brothers. She told me when I was a teenager. I think it's important

♥ Felicia Marie 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Arizona 48 posts
21st Nov '12

I don't see why not. I'm actually glad my mother let me know she had ELEVEN miscarriages and a baby that died right after birth. As I just had a miscarriage a couple days ago, I can relate to her and she can help me through it better.

I believe my mother told us about this when we were around 8-9. She just told us we had brothers and sisters in heaven.

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
21st Nov '12

I would maybe when they are teens though.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; f**king, Austria 36337 posts
21st Nov '12

I personally wouldn't share that with my kids.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
21st Nov '12

My grandmother has 5 kids but she had 10 pregnancies I believe. She kept a little memento for each loss she experienced and shared it with her kids when they were older.
They all remember a few, one was a m/c when her youngest was about 5, one was a still birth at 7 months, and one was a full term still birth. So they remember those.

tooodles 240 kids; Thailand 5075 posts
21st Nov '12

If you want to why not? I personally wouldnt unless if they were older teenagers/adults and if they ask or something. Unless if it was a stillborn older gestation baby with like a name and whatnot. I think its harder to explain a miscarriage to kids.

RadioactiveCat 2 kids; Roanoke, VA, United States 22958 posts
21st Nov '12

My mom had a miscarriage between my brother and me, but she never told me. My aunt did. But after my aunt told me it made things I have heard in the family make a lot of sense. I don't feel especially entitled to the whole story or anything, and unless my mom feels like she needs to talk to me about it, it will never be discussed.

user banned SAN FRANCISCO, CA, United States 24574 posts
21st Nov '12

My oldest knew something was going on, when I miscarried. She was 13, so we talked about it. I doubt I'll ever mention it to our other 3, unless they sadly have to experience it themselves. That's when my mom discussed her loss with me.

Arwen Und 2 kids; Wisconsin 551 posts
21st Nov '12

My mother told my sister and I about her miscarriage when we were little... I found comfort in it that I had a brother in heaven looking out for me.