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Am I rude for this? (babysitting question) ......................... 17 kids; Washington 807 posts
21st Nov '12

(Long...I apologize for that. ): )
Well, first off, is it weird that I don't want anyone to babysit my 7.5 month old yet? If not, then how do I get people to stop asking me? I do tell them I'm not comfortable with it yet. I tell them I'll let them know when I feel okay with it but they STILL ask every time I see them (particularly my MIL).



She has a bedroom down in their basement, down a steep stairway. The stairway does not have a door in front of it, just an open doorway. It's right next to the living room and with Felix crawling ALL over the place, I would worry my head off if he went over there. Even if that basement thing wasn't an issue, there are other problems.



Like when he was a newborn, she came by to 'help' (kind of uninvited, when I didn't want people around so it felt like an inconvenience to me...) and instead of washing his bottles in hot, soapy water, she just ran them under lukewarm water for a few seconds to rinse them out after they sat in the dirty sink for hours. :/ Her new husband tried pushing me to give Felix baby food at a week old (seriously) so I don't trust him not to feed him things I don't want him eating. (Felix eats solids now but if this guy would feed a newborn baby food then I have no clue what he'd give a 7 month old, you know?)



ANYWAY. She just asked on FB 'You guys want me to take him this weekend? Grandma's available! :D' No. I don't. I know she loves him and I appreciate her wanting to take him for a couple days but I would be a nervous wreck. What do I say? ): It's not just her, really. I don't want ANYONE babysitting this soon. I know I'm not ready to have him away from me. Is that so bad? Sometimes they make it feel like it's wrong of me. ):

May♥ 1 child; Texas 9174 posts
21st Nov '12

No that is completley normal to feel that way. I am the same way. The only person I trust his FIL and his wife. They are the only people who have to got to watch her overnight.



MIL is the same way and I have tons of reasons I don't want her over there without me... but she just makes us feel so guilty.



You don't have to do anything till your ready mama.

user banned Due July 3; 2 kids; Australia 14351 posts
21st Nov '12

You do need to loosen up, it would be good for both of u to have time apart. Set rules before she has him and tell her she needs a baby gate at those stairs and until then she doesnt get him

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22501 posts
21st Nov '12

Just tell her you don't want anybody to watch Felix right now. My DD is 16 months old and I only have her get watched once a week by my dad who we live with so I can go to therapy. I don't feel comfortable right now

Hannah Dilks 1 child; New Jersey 180 posts
21st Nov '12

what about starting out with them watching Felix for a couple of hours vs a couple of days?

Pippi & Maddi's Mommy 18 kids; Brooksville, Kentucky 1284 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting emmygog[Felix's Mommy]:" (Long...I apologize for that. ): ) Well, first off, is it weird that I don't want anyone to babysit my ... [snip!] ... this soon. I know I'm not ready to have him away from me. Is that so bad? Sometimes they make it feel like it's wrong of me. ):"


No one watched DD except me until she was 6 months, even then it was only for an hour MAX. Now that I'm working MIL watches Piper on Wednesday for 7 hours and it makes me nervous. She keeps pushing for Piper to stay the night but I'm SOOO not ready for that I that's what I tell her. I also made a list that she had to agree to before I let her keep Piper at all. It said things like "do not feed her anything I don't send with her", and "do not leave her alone with the dog". I told her that if I found out she didn't comply with any of those rules Piper would not be staying with her.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
21st Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting emmygog[Felix's Mommy]:</b>" (Long...I apologize for that. ): ) Well, first off, is it weird that I don't want anyone to babysit my ... [snip!] ... this soon. I know I'm not ready to have him away from me. Is that so bad? Sometimes they make it feel like it's wrong of me. ):"</blockquote>




What if you had her watch him at your place for an hour or two to get some Christmas shopping done?
I understand not wanting people to watch him, I didn't have my first night away from DD until she was 18 months old, but I know my mom and my inlaws were dying for a chance to spend one on one time with her to bond in their own special way. Kwim? So I left a list of rules and the food she was meant to have while ibwas gone left labeled in the fridge.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
21st Nov '12

im an ap parent so it killed me when i had surgery this weekend and she was gone for 2 nights. it is good to get a break but only when you are comfortable.

......................... 17 kids; Washington 807 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting Mrs Somerhalder:" You do need to loosen up, it would be good for both of u to have time apart. Set rules before she has him and tell her she needs a baby gate at those stairs and until then she doesnt get him"


Honestly, I don't think I can do this yet. I don't really even want time away from him. My husband basically forced me out of the house one day (not really, but insisted a lot) so I could have some 'me' time and all I did was think about my kid and buy him toys and clothes. :/ I don't really want a break from him. Not yet. I'm sure sometime but right now doesn't feel right.

Tracy B 1 child; Doncaster, United Kingdom 640 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting emmygog[Felix's Mommy]:" Honestly, I don't think I can do this yet. I don't really even want time away from him. My husband basically ... [snip!] ... buy him toys and clothes. :/ I don't really want a break from him. Not yet. I'm sure sometime but right now doesn't feel right."


My Lo is 14 months old and has not slept out overnight yet. I have been asked a number of times from my dad and the MIL but I explained that when I am ready they can have him. My mum has never asked as she understands where I am coming from as I did not sleep out until I was 4 years old. Today was the first time he napped out at my mum and dads due to an appointment. He did really well in a strange room but he does have a very good relationship with them, also my mum does stop at my house when my partner is away on business.



You will know when you are ready, I am the same I am a SAHM at moment and the longest I have been away from him is around 4 hours. I mix him with loads of people and he is a very social little boy, but it is me I am scared when he is not here. Do not feel guilty and just keep saying you are not ready yet, yes you may start sounding like a broken record :) but do not be pressured into something you are not happy with x

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting Tracy B:" My Lo is 14 months old and has not slept out overnight yet. I have been asked a number of times from ... [snip!] ... ready yet, yes you may start sounding like a broken record :) but do not be pressured into something you are not happy with x"

yes this!

Legendary Yo Mama Due January 31 (boy); 12 kids; 724 posts
22nd Nov '12

If she's grandma, she obviously raised one kid to adulthood. I mean if you need a babysitter, let her. I'm sure you don't care for her parenting style, but I would think she would be ok babysitting.