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user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting I♡C.:" I think that's a big thing for me. I was entirely too young and I am seeing that as I get older and more mature. Thanks for bringing me up and not down :)"


From what I know from you (not even from what you have told me, from what i have seen) you deal with a LOT of baggage in the relationship, that isn't fair for you to be put through. You are feeling exactly how anyone would who has had to work on fixing someone and giving and giving and giving. Instead of being able to fall in love and enjoy the ups and downs. Everything you are feeling is normal and natural. I think YOU deserve some time and to be able to think things out for yourself. Think about what your dream future looks like, what you want to do in your life. Those things matter, and you are young, you have your whole life in front of you. You deserve more than to be married into massive amounts of debt and to not even get love in your relationship. Don't get down on yourself <3

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25207 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" From what I remember you don't have an amazing relationship with your husband. And you are not happy, ... [snip!] ... may not be your husband. Didn't you not know him well when you got married? And he was much older? And from your dads church?"

You're correct with all of this.

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25207 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" From what I know from you (not even from what you have told me, from what i have seen) you deal with ... [snip!] ... than to be married into massive amounts of debt and to not even get love in your relationship. Don't get down on yourself <3"

It's amazing what other people pick up on when I don't even say a word to that person directly, but you're so right. I took on a lot. I married into a lot of baggage. I feel so trapped. I guess I'm just trying to figure myself out, even if it doesn't have to do with the dude at work. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm the one working to make the relationship work...that's all. I don't think Steven cares anymore.

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
21st Nov '12

Sorry if I shared info you didn't want to. I felt like people were answering you based on a different situation. That in your situation your feelings are totally expected and nothing wrong with them

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25207 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" Sorry if I shared info you didn't want to. I felt like people were answering you based on a different situation. That in your situation your feelings are totally expected and nothing wrong with them"


No, you're perfectly fine. I'm glad you came in and filled them in more on the true story. My brain is so jumbled I can't even think straight...

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting I♡C.:" It's amazing what other people pick up on when I don't even say a word to that person directly, but you're ... [snip!] ... so tired of feeling like I'm the one working to make the relationship work...that's all. I don't think Steven cares anymore."

Its not fair, it wasn't fair then, and its not now. Its not fair for you to loose out on the best years of your life. And to curb your dreams because of mistakes he made before marrying you. And on tp of that he shows you no affection and won't get intimate with you. Among other things. Its totally not fair, if you had love on top of that alll it would be different. You shouldnt feel like you are in a prison.

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25207 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" Its not fair, it wasn't fair then, and its not now. Its not fair for you to loose out on the best years ... [snip!] ... Its totally not fair, if you had love on top of that alll it would be different. You shouldnt feel like you are in a prison."

I feel like I am and no clue how to get out. We just bought this trailer together...the worst mistake I ever made anyways...no clue what I was thinking other than trying to make it work, but it isn't....I'm feeling beside myself right now. And you're saying it just like I feel.

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting I♡C.:" I feel like I am and no clue how to get out. We just bought this trailer together...the worst mistake ... [snip!] ... other than trying to make it work, but it isn't....I'm feeling beside myself right now. And you're saying it just like I feel."

Your family wouldn't support you if you left would they? See you have to really think about this. I would suggest talking to someone. I am totally available if you want to get coffee or something. I live in Littleton now, so not far. You need to think about your future. Because if that is the only thing holding you there, details like that... I think that I would move forward with what is best for you. You can always build your credit back up, you cant get your life back.

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25207 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" Your family wouldn't support you if you left would they? See you have to really think about this. I would ... [snip!] ... that I would move forward with what is best for you. You can always build your credit back up, you cant get your life back."

True. We do need to get together sometime. I feel like you have been through a lot too and have such wise words :)

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25207 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" Your family wouldn't support you if you left would they? See you have to really think about this. I would ... [snip!] ... that I would move forward with what is best for you. You can always build your credit back up, you cant get your life back."


My Mom and Dad would let me come back home as long as I am working to help pay my bills and take care of Christopher, but to be honest, my brother is such a troubled kid, they've got so much on their hands right now, I'd hate to bring in more and I don't know if I could live with them. I'd have to move in with friends or roommates or something, I'd assume, but it's not stopping me if I decide to leave.

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting I♡C.:" True. We do need to get together sometime. I feel like you have been through a lot too and have such wise words :)"


I have honestly been through a lot of this before. It was SO HARD to leave. It took a lot of time figuring things out, and planning but i did it. And i am happier than i have ever been. You deserve that, to be happy. Let me know, because I don't work as much right now.

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25207 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" I have honestly been through a lot of this before. It was SO HARD to leave. It took a lot of time figuring ... [snip!] ... it. And i am happier than i have ever been. You deserve that, to be happy. Let me know, because I don't work as much right now."

I'm starting a new job next week. Let me get settled in and we'll figure something out. Text me in a week or two. I'll PM you my number :)

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting I♡C.:" My Mom and Dad would let me come back home as long as I am working to help pay my bills and take care ... [snip!] ... them. I'd have to move in with friends or roommates or something, I'd assume, but it's not stopping me if I decide to leave."


There is always finding another single mom, who needs a roomie. You could also trade childcare. There are a ton of people out there who need it. You would only need one room.

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
21st Nov '12
Quoting I♡C.:" I'm starting a new job next week. Let me get settled in and we'll figure something out. Text me in a week or two. I'll PM you my number :)"

Just so you know, it happened for me also once I started working again and got some financial freedom. That was when I started feeling like I could totally do it.