I have been with my SO for a little bit over a year now but I have known him since I was 14 and I knew the years we had spent apart that he was a kid who loved to party and that hasn't even changed up until this day. He is having a Daughter in April and tonight was a Pep rally for his town and a fire and a few of his friends were having a few parties to celebrate Thanksgiving. His friend took him out to breakfast this morning and in the early afternoon he was drinking up until 11 at night. I'm so done with him and I don't wanna be with him anymore and I think I outgrew him.. I have been clean for a year with only two fuck ups and I can't believe with how depressed I am feeling that I don't feel like using drugs again.. I keep thinking about my baby girl and how much I love her already and how I am gonna have to do this on my own and be strong for her. A lot of people know too much of my business around here and I wish I could just start over new or just move away somewhere where I can be happy and meet people who know me right now and can't judge me on my past. I hate feeling like this esp pregnant. Any advice from single moms or any single moms have an alcoholic baby daddy?
I'm not a single mom but I have dealt with my partners problems with alcohol. It definitely hasn't been easy but he wanted to make the commitment to me and our son. Honestly, the best thing you can do is sit down with him while he is sober and talk to him about it. If you want to try and be with him then let him know that you aren't happy with him and what he has been doing and that if things don't change you will be leaving. Give him some wiggle room like he can have 2-3 drinks a few nights a week or can go out drinking with his friends X times a week. Watch his reaction and take it from there. But follow through with whatever you lay on the table. And be strong. He may or may not be willing to make a change, but you have to be willing to take it either way.
If you would like you can PM me for some more advice or just someone to talk to if you need.
There's an april due date thread if you want to chat in there :wink:
so he was just drinking, or drinking & doing drugs...? have you tried talking to him about it? I know some guys don't change until the baby is here, but he could also be one of those douches that never changes...
Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" I'm not a single mom but I have dealt with my partners problems with alcohol. It definitely hasn't been ... [snip!] ... willing to take it either way. If you would like you can PM me for some more advice or just someone to talk to if you need."
He and I have already been through this before and he doesn't think that how he is acting that he has any issues.. all my friends tell me to move on and just take care of our kid.. I don't know what it will be like when she is born but I can't even stand to be in his presence.
Quoting ANGiE❤'s Liv:" He just drinks he used to smoke weed but he just drinks now and when he drinks he does it till he black ... [snip!] ... he is sober I'm just done with him. He can be there when the baby is born but I don't wanna see him I'm so disgusted by him."
I'm sorry :( that doesn't sound healthy at all... I don't blame you
Quoting ANGiE❤'s Liv:" He and I have already been through this before and he doesn't think that how he is acting that he has ... [snip!] ... just take care of our kid.. I don't know what it will be like when she is born but I can't even stand to be in his presence."
Well if you've been through it before then it is time to let go. Not that you have to find anyone else or anything but you need to focus on you and preparing for your child. If you feel like leaving an open door for him, like if he changes you would be willing to talk to him, then that is up to you but I would definitely just walk away at this point and let him come to you when and if he ever gets ready.
I am not currently a single mom, but I have been in the past. I have 2 sons from a previous relationship and pregnant with my second child with my husband. When I was pregnant with my second son all his dad did was drink and smoke pot. He was nearly 30 and I was 18 and over his immaturity. I left and never looked back. I was early in my pregnancy, but being that I was pregnant again was enough for me to say enough is enough. Shortly there after I met a soldier who I began to date. I gave birth to my second son several months later and he is now 5. I married that soldier 5 months later and he has raised that child like he was his own. We are now expecting our second child together (making the grand total of 4 children) and my 5 year old has no idea that my husband is not his biological father. His "real" dad isn't around. He is living in a beer bottle somewhere, I am sure. EVERYTHING gets better, I promise. I'm not telling you to leave because ultimately nobody can make the decision what is best for you, but you. That being said, if he hasn't grown up by now, chances are nothing will change with the birth of your baby. People will do what they want, if they can get away with it. That is all people. If you feel depressed and that you don't want this relationship anymore, leave. Your happiness and the well-being of your baby is what matters. I hope the best for you!
My nephew's dad is an alcoholic and my sister tried to make it work but he began dragging her down to her level until she let him drive her and the baby around whilst intoxicated and when they returned after getting more booze I slapped her round the face which seemed to wake her up a little. She ended it and he didn't contact them again and still puts drink first 8 years on.
Get away from him before you feel that the only way to escape is to join him. You'll be better off on your own with your cute little bundle of joy :)
Quoting MrsWilliams154:" My nephew's dad is an alcoholic and my sister tried to make it work but he began dragging her down to ... [snip!] ... you feel that the only way to escape is to join him. You'll be better off on your own with your cute little bundle of joy :)"
I can't tell you how close I was to joining him! seriously! I'm gone.
Quoting ANGiE❤'s Liv:" I can't tell you how close I was to joining him! seriously! I'm gone."
Good for you! Don't let him drag you & your baby down with him - you both deserve to be happy and away from an alcoholic.
Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" Well if you've been through it before then it is time to let go. Not that you have to find anyone else ... [snip!] ... that is up to you but I would definitely just walk away at this point and let him come to you when and if he ever gets ready."
This is going to be the hardest thing that I will ever have to do. I have this fucking force pulling me towards him saying be with him be with him! it's so sickening and I wish I could just cut the force up into a million pieces and tell it to leave me alone.