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Husband Brandy Rakes Due January 14; 1 child; Barboursville, West Virginia 113 posts
22nd Nov '12

So I'm 32 weeks and I feel my husband isn't helping me prepare at all. He doesnt help me with our one year old at all.. Plays video games all night and I just get no rest! I also work 25 to 30 hours a week and am constantly on my feet. I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on what I should do at this point. I feel like I should be resting and getting ready for a new baby and instead I'm doing everything alone. I do all the shopping and running errans and Idk.. I'm just afraid when I have this baby I'm going to have a break down. I don't want to leave my husband,, I love him very much but I just don't know how to get threw to him. I mean I had to work today and he was off yet I still had to find a baby sitter for our son, go to work, then come home & cook Thanksgiving dinner... I was dehydrated with the stomach flu not even a week ago and was in the hospital for two days and still had my one year old with me pulling at my iv cords... then came home and scrubbed puke out of his carseat and disinfected the house my self.. ( my one year old was sick too)

sambugjoebear Due April 28; 2 kids; Ohio 428 posts
24th Nov '12

You definitely need to have a one-on-one heartfelt talk with your husband about what you're doing, how you're feeling, and what exactly you would like for him to do. Sometimes they just need it spelled out for them. My husband's great for the most part, but there are times when I have to remind him/talk to him about helping me more with the house or the kids. He's a gamer as well, so I understand where you're coming from. He's gotten a lot better at keeping himself in check so he doesn't spend too much time playing.

Lauren Cromwell Due January 1; 36 kids; Tennessee 51 posts
24th Nov '12
Quoting sambugjoebear:" You definitely need to have a one-on-one heartfelt talk with your husband about what you're doing, how ... [snip!] ... where you're coming from. He's gotten a lot better at keeping himself in check so he doesn't spend too much time playing."

I have to remind my husband a lot too. He is pretty good at helping me, but at first I had to have a heartfelt conversation with him. He has 4 children (my stepkids) and works 40 hours a week. I am not working so we don't have to pay a babysitter. But because I am home, and he is at work, I felt obligated to do everything around the house and with the kids. But because of all the activity I had put myself through, I was put on bedrest and almost lost my baby girl. I have gone through 2 miscarriages due to stress and too much activity. Brandy, you really need to be careful and stress to your husband what could happen if he doesn't start helping out. It could be a danger to both you and your unborn baby, which in turn will affect him and your other son in a very negative way. If he doesn't agree with you, ask if he will agree to seeing a marriage counselor and getting a third party's opinion on the situation at hand. It takes 2 giving a complete 100% on both sides to make a successful relationship. It takes 2 to make a baby. So it should take 2 preparing for and caring for the baby and other members of the family.

Hurray! Due April 29; 5 kids; Ohio 980 posts
25th Nov '12

So men are pretty clueless and most feel its sort of the women's job to do the cleaning, cooking , childcare etc.



So the question is, has he changed recently? Did he used to be more helpful and quit or is this typical of him. If he has changed talking it over may help to reveal the problem. Sometimes men don't really know what its like to be pregnant and can't understand or relate to exactly how tired and sore etc we are! Now if this is his normal expected type behavior, well you probably are not going to change him anytime soon! Basically, he is what you chose.



Is there anyone else that can help you? Family? Friends? Sometimes men can sort of be "shamed" into helping once you enlist someone else to help out.