My sons father works M-F 8am-6pm. I work varying shifts, about 30 hours a week. During the week my shifts are either 7am-1pm, 530pm-1030pm and sometimes a combination of both in one day. On weekends I work one day 6am-2pm and the next day 530pm-1030pm. I am also in college for nursing so when Im not working I am trying to fit in that too. Usually during the week I only work the evening shift, its only when someone is sick that I end up working during the day.
During the week I keep my son during the night and during the day for the hours Im not at work. His father usually takes him in the evening and one night on the weekend. Since we are seeing each other right now, if we both arent at work then we are usually together with our son.
When I started working more I put my son into a dayhome. I tried 2 of them. After a month the first one said that they were going to start taking a sibling of another child they are watching and that they couldnt take my son anymore.
The 2nd ones provider started out pretty good but started not being able to take him consistently at all. So my parents (retired) starting takin him one night a week (he has preschool 2 days a week and usually one of those days I am working the morning shift so my parents will take him for the night) and a couple days during the week when I work the day shift (usually 7/8am-2pm).
I give them 400$ a month for this and they are okay with this arrangement. But lately I seem to notice alot of people judging me for leaving my son at my parents house. I never thought it was a problem, it is only a couple days a week and only for 2-6 hours (2 hours if its a preschool day), plus I am paying them so its not like I am taking advantage of them or anything. It almost feels to me like people dont consider the fact that I work. I need someone to watch him while I am at work, and when I am asked why hes at my parents every week and I say they watch him sometimes when Im at work, its like that reason doesnt matter or something.
I think other people should STFU honestly. If your parents are ok with it and you're paying them, generously I might add then thats all that matters.
Sometimes they are watching him more then other times too though. Like one week I might work all evenings and my sons father will have him. Then the next week I might want to study extra for a midterm or might have a couple day shifts because someones sick. Plus if its a preschool day they will drive him to and from preschool which is extra effort as well (some dayhomes wont do that) and they will watch him when hes sick (another thing dayhomes wont do) and they will take him at odd hours (if I work at 6am and for whatever reason his father cant watch him then my parents would keep him overnight the night before) so they do alot for my son, way above and beyond the average dayhome.
People judge you no matter what you do so the only thing that is important is doing what makes you and your immediate family happy. If you, your SO, your Son and his Grandparents are happy with the arrangement quite frankly it's no one else's damn business. People would have something to say of you were a SAHM, a workaholic, if your Son was onky seeing his Grandparents once a month or if he was seeing them 5 days a week. It's not like you and your SO are handing him out to strangers so you both can go party and get drunk everyday, he is going to his Grandparents house so you both can work and provide for your family, forget others judgements.