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Should abusive men get visitation rights? *trigger warning* Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
23rd Nov '12

Possible triggers:
if a a man is physical or sexually abusive to his ex, should he still be awarded visitation rights of his kids? What if he is only verbally or emotionally abusive? What if he was never physically abusive to the kids? Should the visitation be supervised? Should the abuse even be looked at when it comes to how much time he spends with the kids?



Why? Why not?




D&D

Robert Downey Jr. Zanzibar, Tanzania 16079 posts
23rd Nov '12

I think it should be considered. My friends soon to be ex wife is verbally abusive and emotionally abusive as well as a pain pill abuser. He got a protection order against her because she was endangering their daughter and the judge just dropped it at the hearing.



I think it needs to be looked at as one of the main things when determining visitation.




And it goes both ways, men and women. NOT just men. Not even close.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
23rd Nov '12
Quoting Michael Westen:" I think it should be considered. My friends soon to be ex wife is verbally abusive and emotionally abusive ... [snip!] ... at as one of the main things when determining visitation. And it goes both ways, men and women. NOT just men. Not even close."


This is true... i apologize for making it sound like only men are abusive.

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
23rd Nov '12

As long as the abuse has never abused a child I think they should get supervised visitation

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
23rd Nov '12

f**k no, I don't think you want/need someone like that around your kids.

Krista Roberts Due February 25; 1 child; Olympia, Washington 15 posts
23rd Nov '12

if a couple married or not that has kids and do not get on well with each other but loves there childeren weather the abuse is from the male of the female i think that as long as the children were not abused in ANY way that visitations should be allowed but that also is contingent on the tipe of abuse that happens in the home, if daddy beets mommy or mommy beets daddy (yes this hapens) then supervised visitations may be allowed on a trial bassis to see how the children like beeing withtat parent, but also if the parent was abusive to the children the all visitation should be terminated why make the child visit with his or her tormenter/abuser?, there are so many different degrees and tipes of abuse that weather or not the offending perant should be allowed visitation realy is based on who and what they did as far and the degree and tipe of abuse.

Proginoskes II 3 kids; North Carolina 1295 posts
23rd Nov '12

My ex was abusive in every way except beating me physically. He also neglected my (yes, MY) daughter while he had in another state.
If I have my way, he will never see her again. He's gone 6 months with no contact with her, saw me briefly 2 months ago and did not even ask about her. The last time he saw her, he told her he loved her but that mommy wouldn't let him have her. :roll: Because of that, she was hysterical for 30 minutes. I will NOT let him keep coming in and out of her life and causing emotional trauma.

Kimberly Taddei Due October 19; 2 kids; Elgin, Texas 295 posts
24th Nov '12

No I don't think they should.

Bangtail 50 kids; Katy, Texas 7721 posts
24th Nov '12

I think that it should be monitored and have mandatory counseling for the abusive partner as well as the abused. The children should also receive counseling. Even if the abuser never did anything to the children, they witnessed it and need help to understand and deal with what they've seen. They also need to know that they have a neutral party they can talk to if it starts happening to them.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
24th Nov '12
Quoting Bangtail:" I think that it should be monitored and have mandatory counseling for the abusive partner as well as ... [snip!] ... with what they've seen. They also need to know that they have a neutral party they can talk to if it starts happening to them."


I love your response! I think this is great.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
24th Nov '12

Supervised by the mother and/or a third party, yes. Unsupervised after counseling and anger management.

*sarah*jean* 3 kids; Castle Rock, Washington 5286 posts
27th Nov '12

If they were supervised through a third part, sure. Otherwise, I'd vote no. After having experience with this topic, I don't think it's a positive influence for the child. Also, no child deserves to be put in harm's way, whether the father abused them or not. It's still in their behavior, perhaps not yet geared toward the child.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
27th Nov '12
Quoting *sarah*jean*:" If they were supervised through a third part, sure. Otherwise, I'd vote no. After having experience with ... [snip!] ... in harm's way, whether the father abused them or not. It's still in their behavior, perhaps not yet geared toward the child."


Yeah, I always feel that maybe when the kid is older the father/mother will start to beat or curse on them. I do believe that an abuse person will abuse anyone if they are pushed to that point... and you gotta admit, preteens and teenagers know how to push people!

*sarah*jean* 3 kids; Castle Rock, Washington 5286 posts
27th Nov '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Yeah, I always feel that maybe when the kid is older the father/mother will start to beat or curse on ... [snip!] ... will abuse anyone if they are pushed to that point... and you gotta admit, preteens and teenagers know how to push people!"


Not only preteens or teens. What happens when the kid spills their juice all over the computer, or smacks or bites the abusive parent? Toddlers push my buttons as much as my teenager sometimes! It's all in the situation. Kids are tough, period.

..Faith.Hope.Love.. Due July 1; 34 kids; Medford, Oregon 8 posts
27th Nov '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Possible triggers: if a a man is physical or sexually abusive to his ex, should he still be awarded visitation ... [snip!] ... supervised? Should the abuse even be looked at when it comes to how much time he spends with the kids? Why? Why not? D&D"


I don't think so, but it does happen. My ex shot my father while myself and my child were present. He was convicted of shooting my father and convicted of child endangerment.........he now has 50/50 custody of her :/