A friend of mine wanted to throw a little get together tonight, so we went shoppin together and got a bunch of snacks, and made cookies and stuff. She lives across the street like 10 seconds from us, we walk there all the time. Well when everyone got there they started smoking (cigs and weed) and drinking....and I was sitting there with my caffeine free pop -_- And then they started playing this drinking game and tried including me as much as they could, but it was pointless. And then they were talking about moving to a different room to smoke so I wouldn't breathe it in, so I just acted like I felt sick and left because I felt more like a bother to them than anything. My boyfriend was there too, and still is. Now i'm home alone, ranting on fuckin BG while they're over there having fun. It just sucks, I hate being excluded all the damn time. I need some prego friends or something to do things that don't involve getting fucked up. I appreciate the fact that they were trying to work around me but I don't want them to have to, but at the same time whenever they all hangout that's all they do is smoke and drink....and I don't want to be around that while pregnant so I just leave. It's kind of lonely. Why do they have to get fucked up everytime they hangout? What happened to sober activities? I wish my boyfriend would at least stick by me but no he stayed to get drunk and high with his friends over there. I feel completely alone in this whole pregnancy. It's more for everyone elses enjoyment......they rub my belly, say "awh you're so adorable" and etc and then i'm in the background again while they're all having fun (including my boyfriend) and anytime I complain about backpains or kicks to the ribs its "Oh, that sucks". No "I know how that feels" or anything! That goes for my boyfriend too, I feel like it's unfair how he gets to act completely normal and do everything the way he was before I got pregnant....I didn't f**king knock myself up -_- And getting him to do anything to help me is like pulling teeth. Taking the trash out, helping me clean, do laundry, even getting a back rub or a foot rub is impossible. He'll do it, but he complains about it and guilts me until I don't even want him to anymore.
But that's me being selfish, and this is me being whiney. i need to stfu. I should be very grateful to even be able to be this far in the pregnancy, and I am....but there's certain times where I wish I could just have fun again like everyone else. Gahhhh. I'm gonna shut up now :(
No offense, but your SO sounds like a tool.
I know how you feel. I have friends, but they are all going out & going to parties or the mall. I am just sitting here like...aww :(
I spend most of my time here on BG because I don't have any friend who understand what I am going through. SO is here with me a lot of the time, but his friends come hangout with him & I feel so excluded. I mean I'm greatful he doesn't really go off with them, at least they come over here right? But still...it would be cool to have at least one friend in my situation.
He's a really sweet guy, and he means well. I'm just getting sick of everything being about him. This morning I woke up and cooked him breakfast. We were supposed to clean the house and etc. Nothing got done because of these plans with Jessie (our friend across the street). He didn't even take out the trash that i've been asking him to take out for days so once again i'll do it. He doesn't want to help me do dishes, or laundry ever. He just goes to work, comes home and plays his video games. I wanted a night with him since he works all day everyday and then comes home and plays his video games til bed time. He's over jessies drinking/getting high and says tommorow will be our day but we have errands to run, his mother wants him to come over and put up the tree (yay for the drama that's bound to happen) and I have a whole apartment to clean. There will be no us time. NONE. I don't feel appreciated anymore, or wanted or anything. I'm thinking about going to my moms for a few days.
Quoting Erica ☆★:" He's a really sweet guy, and he means well. I'm just getting sick of everything being about him. This ... [snip!] ... no us time. NONE. I don't feel appreciated anymore, or wanted or anything. I'm thinking about going to my moms for a few days. "
You should sit him down and tell him all of this.
Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" You should sit him down and tell him all of this."
I do. And all he says is "ok babe I will" or something to make me think he actually heard me but nothing ever changes.
Quoting Erica ☆★:" I do. And all he says is "ok babe I will" or something to make me think he actually heard me but nothing ever changes. "
He seems really immature imo and that needs to change, he's got a baby on the way
<blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:</b>" You should sit him down and tell him all of this."</blockquote>
I agree. When SO does something I don't like I have to open up & tell him how I'm feeling. If not I hold all of those emotions in & end up going off on him for something small. When it's really no big deal.
It might be good for you to have some time away from him & get some time to yourself to relax & ease your mind.
You should definitely sit him down and talk about all of this stuff your feeling. If you feel upset or stressed or whatever about doing things on your own and him not being there, the baby feels that and it's no good :(
Also, I hate to break it to you but feeling excluded from things isn't going to change after the baby is born.
Quoting coℓton's mama.
Quoting Teagan Lee:" You should definitely sit him down and talk about all of this stuff your feeling. If you feel upset or ... [snip!] ... it's no good :( Also, I hate to break it to you but feeling excluded from things isn't going to change after the baby is born."
I don't expect it to, i'm fine with being excluded. I just hate being the only one all the time when my boyfriend helped make this baby and he's having fun almost every night, and i'm just the one to clean up after him. I think he should be by my side more often....this isn't MY situation, it's OURS ya know? :(
<blockquote><b>Quoting Erica ☆★:</b>" I think I need to. He takes everything for granted. I'd leave him my car and just use my moms for the ... [snip!] ... would be able to get everything out of his system, and when I get back we'll see how things go. :/ This f**king sucks though."</blockquote>
That seems like a good idea. But before you go, I would sit him down & explain to him why you're taking this "mini vacation". Let him know that the way he acts when you get back could make or break your relationship. That way while you are taking a break & thinking about things, he is doing the same. He seems like he's a bit immature & he needs to realize he can't be that way omce the baby comes.
I told him that I want to go to my mothers for the week, and he came straight home. I was packing my things and told him I want to be dropped off in the morning. He hugged me and asked what's going on. I told him everything I pretty much ranted about on here (while balling my eyes out, it got pretty dramatic lol) and he actually got down on his knees and apologized, and asked me to give him a couple days. He said if I still feel like he's not trying then he won't stop me from going to my moms, no hard feelings, etc. I hesitated at first because he always says he'll try but it's just words with no actions but he kept saying just give me a chance and even if you don't feel the same way you are now but you still want to go, i'll drop you off. I agreed. It felt really good to talk to him about everything, I just hope he sticks to it. However, we're still a semi-new couple and becomming a family, we have things to work on. I can't just run away everytime there's an issue so i'll give him the benefit of the doubt....and hopefully he at least tries to help me some more. I feel a lot better though, not gonna lie :)
Quoting Erica ☆★:" I told him that I want to go to my mothers for the week, and he came straight home. I was packing my ... [snip!] ... the benefit of the doubt....and hopefully he at least tries to help me some more. I feel a lot better though, not gonna lie :)"
Thats great! And i completely understand how hard it is being a new couple and expecting a baby. SO and i were only together a month before i got pregnant. Its rough thats for sure.
Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" Thats great! And i completely understand how hard it is being a new couple and expecting a baby. SO and i were only together a month before i got pregnant. Its rough thats for sure."
Yeah, same. We've been friends for years but we had just started dating and then bam I got pregnant. He did admit to not being fully ready yet, and I told him i'm not exactly ready either but we gotta work together with it, and make the best out of it. Now he's being a total sweetheart of course lol