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Loretta West [+1] Due March 26; TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 6037 posts
status 25th Nov '12

But you shouldn't stay with him purely because you're worried about what might happen if you don't.. If you truely want to leave, you should. Especially if you think there's no way to work through the issues you guys have. The kids need happy parents. My mother stayed with my stepfather for years because he was the only father I knew, and all i saw was them fighting all the time and my mum being sad. It's a horrible way to grow up. staying for the kids is never a good thing, just like having a kid to fix a relationship. I really hope things get better OP.

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
25th Nov '12

Kinda sounds like he got caught trying to pass off a diaper, so to make you feel bad he did a low blow to get the focus off the issue that HE was being the shithead all the way around. And he went to far.

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
25th Nov '12

Also, suggest he get therapy. That shouldn't have been said in front of either kid, especially from a parent. Verbal abuse, whether it was intentional or not. Tell him to grow up.



Seriously, if you plan to stay with him, you guys need therapy. Not just you.

Loretta West [+1] Due March 26; TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 6037 posts
status 25th Nov '12
Quoting Naocorn:" Also, suggest he get therapy. That shouldn't have been said in front of either kid, especially from a ... [snip!] ... it was intentional or not. Tell him to grow up. Seriously, if you plan to stay with him, you guys need therapy. Not just you."


:!:

Life is a Highway ♫ 18 kids; Australia 9381 posts
25th Nov '12

★★★★★

Loretta West [+1] Due March 26; TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 6037 posts
status 25th Nov '12
Quoting J&E:" He isn't allowed to attend my psychology appointments, they are for me only. They're under my medicare ... [snip!] ... so I was just going to hold our 3 y/os hand while we crossed to road because he wouldn't knock the presents and camera around. "


He shouldn't say that stuff in front of the kids. It's an extremely childish way to do things, if he has an issue he should come to you rather than using the kids as ammunition to make you feel bad. He sounds like a bit of a douche :(

♥Mak♥Jaxϖ 50 kids; Australia 1611 posts
25th Nov '12
Quoting ℐ+ℳ=
Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
25th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&E:</b>" He isn't allowed to attend my psychology appointments, they are for me only. They're under my medicare ... [snip!] ... so I was just going to hold our 3 y/os hand while we crossed to road because he wouldn't knock the presents and camera around."</blockquote>




He's messing your kids up. Tell him to get therapy or get out. Because he's not going to change without professional help.

Life is a Highway ♫ 18 kids; Australia 9381 posts
25th Nov '12

★★★★★

Loretta West [+1] Due March 26; TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 6037 posts
status 25th Nov '12
Quoting J&E:" I honestly never seen it that way before.... Maybe its not ALL me that is the problem after all, because ... [snip!] ... never wanted to do. He thinks its great to 'get away from the kids' as he tells everyone but it was more to get away from him. "


It doesn't sound like you're the problem at all. PPD is an illness, it's not something you can control. It sounds like he's an insensitive twerp, especially if he's making out like you've caused all the problems in your relationship. If you feel the need to get away from him, maybe you should make it more permanent? You really don't sound happy where you are OP. Although I'm just a nosy lurker and don't know the full story.

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
25th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&E:</b>" I honestly never seen it that way before.... Maybe its not ALL me that is the problem after all, because ... [snip!] ... never wanted to do. He thinks its great to 'get away from the kids' as he tells everyone but it was more to get away from him. "</blockquote>



I think outside input opens your eyes to things you can't see. You have a lot to think about, honestly. He sounds depressed and bitter, and he's pulling you down with him. It's not just you, not at all. You can't make something work if the other person isn't trying.

Life is a Highway ♫ 18 kids; Australia 9381 posts
25th Nov '12

★★★★★

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
25th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&E:</b>" Well I had a talk with him. Asked him to go talk with someone. He basically said he doesn't see us working ... [snip!] ... he does is speak without thinking and that he hates I'm not a clingy touchy person! All I asked was he talk with someone!"</blockquote>




Where you should go? How about where he should go?

♥Mak♥Jaxϖ 50 kids; Australia 1611 posts
25th Nov '12
Quoting J&E:" Well I had a talk with him. Asked him to go talk with someone. He basically said he doesn't see us working ... [snip!] ... he does is speak without thinking and that he hates I'm not a clingy touchy person! All I asked was he talk with someone!"


Go speak to Centrelink and to Housing trust they will sort you out

Life is a Highway ♫ 18 kids; Australia 9381 posts
25th Nov '12

★★★★★