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Temper tantrums B♥Z 2 kids; Williamsport, Maryland 14245 posts
25th Nov '12

DD is 3 years old and over the last few weeks has been going into full on temper tantrums. The yelling, kicking, jumping, etc. It's getting pretty ridiculous.



I get down on her level and explain to her whatever it is she's wanting, that she can't have (for example, a popsicle right before dinner) but she gets louder and louder as I try to talk to her. I've tried putting her in her bedroom to get her to calm herself down but she ends up getting louder while tipping her laundry basket over, throwing her stuffed animals, etc. (she doesn't have toys in her bedroom). I made her one of those glitter calm down jars, but either she doesn't get the concept of it, or just doesn't feel like using it in the time of a tantrum.



Do you think time outs are appropriate for temper tantrums? What do you do? What would you suggest to us?



I ask about the time outs because I just put her in one, for having a tantrum and I'm not sure if that was the right way to go. She did sit there through it, but cried for a good portion of the 3 minutes.




She is in speech therapy, and a low level of behavioral therapy because she has developed a lower level of anxiety since we moved across country due to military orders. Her behavioral therapist suggested I tell her to "jump it out" but again, when she's in that moment, she doesn't want to listen or do anything specific.

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
25th Nov '12

I say time outs are fine for tantrums. Especially if you tried to explain to her and she didn't want to listen. Once her time out us over and she's calmed down you can then talk to her about why she can't have something/do something/ect.

. , Richmond, VA, United States 75063 posts
25th Nov '12

I don't. Tantrums are feelings and I don't think they should be punished. It may not be the most appropriate way to express those feelings but they don't always know another way. They have to be taught and retaught at this age for their brain to make those connections. And as parents we have to be the model so they will be able to develop those neural pathways and be able to calm themselves down in the future. I wouldn't try to reason during a tantrum. I would just console and sympathize. You don't have to give in to get it to stop or anything like that. I'd just offer some sympathy by saying "I know. I know it's frustrating", things like that. Offer a hug if she's calm enough. As frustrating and annoying as tantrums can be the goal shouldn't be to stifle them, that will only lead to anger problems and not knowing how to let those feelings out or they will just bottle all of their feelings up until later and really explode. There's nothing wrong with putting her in a safe place if she just doesn't want to calm down though. Once she actually does calm down that's when you should try to reason with her. And in the future you can try to catch the tantrum before it starts and try certain techniques like jumping it out or breathing, things like that.

The Blissful Six 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 10260 posts
25th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:</b>" I don't. Tantrums are feelings and I don't think they should be punished. It may not be the most appropriate ... [snip!] ... can try to catch the tantrum before it starts and try certain techniques like jumping it out or breathing, things like that. "</blockquote>




I agree with all of this!!

B♥Z 2 kids; Williamsport, Maryland 14245 posts
25th Nov '12
Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" I don't. Tantrums are feelings and I don't think they should be punished. It may not be the most appropriate ... [snip!] ... can try to catch the tantrum before it starts and try certain techniques like jumping it out or breathing, things like that. "


Thank you! I'll try this. I've always just tried to reason with her during and that's probably the mistake I'm making. Thinking that if she would hear me, she'd stop and understand. I need to stop and remember she's 3 and doesn't know a better way to handle it, unless taught.

Proginoskes II 3 kids; North Carolina 1295 posts
25th Nov '12

DD is 2.5 and speech-delayed. The only thing that calms her down during a tantrum is to hug her very tightly, with her arms by her side, and speak in a calm voice and make shushing noises. Sometimes repeating what I've said calmly helps, like: "You cannot have a sucker for breakfast. You can have a sucker with morning snack." She still screams, but it's usually not as bad or for as long.
This is not always practical though, sadly. I've sent her to her room to "calm down", and she stands in the doorway and screams. I've tried putting her in her crib to calm down and so she won't wake the babies (works sometimes).
I think it's hit or miss with tantrums, unless you can find the magical fix for a particular child. :(

. , Richmond, VA, United States 75063 posts
25th Nov '12
Quoting B♥Z:" Thank you! I'll try this. I've always just tried to reason with her during and that's probably the mistake ... [snip!] ... me, she'd stop and understand. I need to stop and remember she's 3 and doesn't know a better way to handle it, unless taught."

Yw. :) Good luck lol.