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My SO's ex is getting to me. (vent) advice? Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
26th Nov '12

She messaged him the other day ( and we share a phone and have that whole trust thing so yeah I saw the thread of messages ) But she started messaging about how "cool" I was for being he friend on FB even though most girls wouldn't be if they knew they were "High school sweet hearts and dated for four years"



Then today stumbled across another message about how she's so sorry for "Ruining his life" by breaking up with him, and he humors her. They've been broken up for 4-5 years... He's 26 and has another baby on the way. I'm 28 weeks pregnant. AND She's 17 weeks pregnant with her SO. Then because at first I asked him to just ignore the first message, she decided she was going to throw it in my face like a child. And message me. "You don't have a problem with me even though we dated for four years?" typically I'm confident in my relationships, but being pregnant I think hormones are making it tough for me to keep calm. And ignore this. Yesterday I guess she started in with the whole "I'm sorry I ruined your life" BS. I already have those weird pregnancy nightmares where he leaves me stranded for his other ex who he has a 4 years old with. And no it's like I'm living in one of my nightmares. Or the beginning of one. With another ex. I'm being silly aren't I?

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Chelsea.J:" She messaged him the other day ( and we share a phone and have that whole trust thing so yeah I saw the ... [snip!] ... with. And no it's like I'm living in one of my nightmares. Or the beginning of one. With another ex. I'm being silly aren't I? "

How is that throwing it in your face? I'm a bit confused here.

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
26th Nov '12

he has a kid with her, they should be able to chat without you going crazy.

wannaknow 2 kids; California 475 posts
26th Nov '12

Sometimes ex's can be friends, it is big of you to tolerate her for the sake of their child. I wouldn't worry too much about her though. I am friends with a couple of my ex's (who I don't have kids with) and when they get girlfriends I usually make friends with them to make them realize I'm not "interested" in their bf's as more than friends. It's sort of like an olive branch I guess. To show that I respect their relationship. That way they don't see my name and think I'm talking to their bf behind their back.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting shes*almost*one!:" he has a kid with her, they should be able to chat without you going crazy."

No he doesn't this is a completely different ex. And as I said I'm aware that I may be acting silly about it. I'm pregnant there are hormones. <- I know this.
The ex he has a kid with gives me other reason's to be pissed off. And I don't really go crazy.

Bobo's mum 1 child; Albligen, Switzerland 2500 posts
26th Nov '12

I would just ask him to stop talking with her.




clearly a relationship with her Is unnecessary for your SO to have, so why continue it? That's my opinion but I think my DH would agree w ith me that it's an unnecessary friendship

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
26th Nov '12

Oh wait I confused people. This is the ex before the one he has a child with guys.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59771 posts
26th Nov '12

The "ruined your life" is a little weird to me.



I mean, good for you being friends with her and all. But, I would be weirded out by that, too.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Chelsea.J:" Oh wait I confused people. This is the ex before the one he has a child with guys."


No I'm just confused what's making you upset is all.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59771 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Just Ames:" Right. She is being an a*****e, not a "cool" ex girlfriend."


:!:



She's not being a friend, she's trying to get him to think about their previous love relationship.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Bobo's mum:" I would just ask him to stop talking with her. clearly a relationship with her Is unnecessary for ... [snip!] ... SO to have, so why continue it? That's my opinion but I think my DH would agree w ith me that it's an unnecessary friendship"


I guess they've been friends for a while and dated all through high school, and then some. And she cheated on him, he forgave her, and then she flat out left him. So there really is no good reason for a relationship in my opinion either. But I'm just not the type to keep anyone from talking to anyone else. It just bugs me that she's bringing really old stuff up for no reason.

Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
26th Nov '12

I don't see it as throwing it in your face, I really think it was actually nice of her to ASK you if you were okay with it even though, they have a history together. They date 4 or 5 years ago, it's not like they just broke up a day or two before you two got together.



I think you are overreacting.

Kaleighshaleigh 3 kids; USA 5959 posts
26th Nov '12

I don't think so. I'm confident in my relationship, but I wouldn't like my husband's ex that he obviously cared for at some point to be calling. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if roles were reversed. Even if he is perfectly innocent in the situation the fact that she is calling ad saying things like that seems disrespectful to you and your relationship to me and shouldn't be tolerated. He needs to tell her to stop.



I'm friends with exes and so is my hubby, so that isn't the issue to me. It's her statements that concern me.

Robert Downey Jr. Zanzibar, Tanzania 16079 posts
26th Nov '12

I'm friends with all of my exes. I talk to most of them on a regular basis. DH doesn't give a shit and he has seen conversations from my one ex saying she wished we had got together later on to see what would happen, and I agreed. DH didn't care. I don't really think she is being too ridiculous in all honesty.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Just Ames:" The issue I have is the "you don't have a problem with me even though we dated for four years" BS. I ... [snip!] ... feel she is egging you on and for what? Someone needs to tell her to get over herself and she is the one that needs to move on."


It could be just curiosity though. A lot of people have issues with their mate remaining friends with an ex.