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user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting MysticWitchKat:" No I'm just confused what's making you upset is all."


i kind o fam too... nothing in there would make me upset at all..



he's not hiding anything from you... she just sounds kinda weird.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting The Doctor:" :!: She's not being a friend, she's trying to get him to think about their previous love relationship."



^^^^^^^ This is what I'm upset about this is the first thing that popped into my head. And I may be overreacting. But I may also just be really annoyed with one of his exes bringing up things that don't need brought up. We were talking and friends months and months before she brought up them dating for a while. And that it was cool of me. and she messaged him all of those things first.

Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Just Ames:" The issue I have is the "you don't have a problem with me even though we dated for four years" BS. I ... [snip!] ... feel she is egging you on and for what? Someone needs to tell her to get over herself and she is the one that needs to move on."


See I took it in a different way. Maybe she was making sure she KNEW they were friendly together and friends on FB ( or whatever). I mean it could go both ways.



The ex could very well be, being a bitch, but she also could just be making sure the OP knew ( which I guess, could also be her being a bitch lol).

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting shes*almost*one!:" i kind o fam too... nothing in there would make me upset at all.. he's not hiding anything from you... she just sounds kinda weird. "


I guess like I said I'm aware I could be overreacting. I just don't like the idea of her trying to bring up the past. Out of the blue. And they've already had there talks, and I'm sorry's. This was 4-5 years ago, and she randomly feels like bring it up again.

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
26th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea.J:</b>" I guess they've been friends for a while and dated all through high school, and then some. And she cheated ... [snip!] ... not the type to keep anyone from talking to anyone else. It just bugs me that she's bringing really old stuff up for no reason."</blockquote>




Cheating starts with talking. They are exes for a reason. I wouldn't put any blame on him, but I'd say she's unhappy in her relationship and her mind has wandered back to the past. There's no reason for her to talk to him or say shit to you.

*Amo a Mis Nenas* 3 kids; Birmingham, Alabama 8838 posts
26th Nov '12

If he doesnt have a kid with her.. That doesnt mean they cant be friends. BUT she shouldnt be talking about their past and bringin up how sorry she is she broke up with him..



my DH is best friends with his ex wife (not his BM) and i dont have a problem with that. But they have a long history. And im no one to say he cant be friends with someone, esp an ex, bc km his new wife. Shes no threat to me..



No if she were texting him wanting to get back together and shit, yeah, id have a problem. But thats not the case...

They call me mama. 18 kids; La Verne, California 3222 posts
status 26th Nov '12

I honestly don't think ex's should be friends with each other honestly especially first loves. I think there is a bond in that type of innocent love and its unhealthy to be chatting it up again. I honestly would ask SO to not talk to her so often and especially since shes being rude to you and saying shes sorry for ruining his life. Its becoming in inappropriate conversation at least in my eyes.
I talked to my first love and SO was totally fine with it and we did not talk about anything inappropriate, SO read the messages and there was no problem but than I could feel myself thinking about my ex more than usual and decided it was best to cut off talking.
When you love someone once its easy to love them again. I'm no longer in love with my ex but I think however small it may be a piece of my heart will always be his. I know every situation is different but I thought I would share what happened in our situation.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Just Ames:" She seems to be repeating these questions which is in turn egging the OP on. There is no reason for that. It's childish and unnecessary."


I dont see how that is egging her on. She said she is messaging her mate not her. The only thing she commented to her was the bit about her wondering if she had an issue with her talking.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Just Ames:" I can see that aspect of it. IDK, I'm getting the crazy ex can't move on vibe. "


I agree.



And, I mean, I have no issue with friends. But if you're trying to be friends with someone, you don't consantly talk about your relationship or how much you destroyed their life, IMO.



I dated one of my best friends. After we stopped dating, we went back to being friends. Not friends that are constantly telling their new SOs about our past together, and the hurt feelings.

Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Just Ames:" I can see that aspect of it. IDK, I'm getting the crazy ex can't move on vibe. "



I kind of am, too. But I mean she doesn't seem all that crazy, compared to some I've heard about. At least everything's out in the open for OP and it's not like she's thunder struck.

Mommeee™ 2 kids; Beverly Hills, CA, United States 5268 posts
26th Nov '12

I would be confused by the whole "im sorry i ruined your life" bit. Simply because his life clearly wasn't ruined, he moved on and has a child on the way. I think she is giving herself too much credit in his life. Like without her he is ruined.



Also remember, she is pregnant by someone else. I don't know the extent of her relationship with the baby's father but she could be feeling some type of way right now or scared about having a child in general. Not that it's okay to do what she is doing, but maybe her hormones are getting to her too, so if you say something to her, just do it politely.

MamaTay[Kennedi] 1 child; Greenville, Texas 4819 posts
status 26th Nov '12

She over stepped with the "sorry i ruined your life...." She isn't respecting any boundaries. The dreams are the worst. I had them also. Maybe you're reacting a little much but you are pregnant. React as much as you would like.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I kind of am, too. But I mean she doesn't seem all that crazy, compared to some I've heard about. At least everything's out in the open for OP and it's not like she's thunder struck. "


Could be she is nostalgic as well. She is having her first baby, and maybe she is thinking back to the time they were together is all.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Kennedi's Momma:" She over stepped with the "sorry i ruined your life...." She isn't respecting any boundaries. The dreams ... [snip!] ... are the worst. I had them also. Maybe you're reacting a little much but you are pregnant. React as much as you would like."


Being pregnant does not give you a free pass to act the way you want. I really hate that shit to be honest.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Just Ames:" Right... That's where the issue lies here, IMO. Right now it's essentially harmless but if this chick doesn't back up there could be issues in the future."


I agree.



I don't think there's anything wrong or a big problem..... but that kind of "frienship" seems... not friendly to me. Like, she wants him to be unable to function without her, gives her an ego boost or some shit. That's the vibe I get.