Vent user banned
26th Nov '12

Ugh! I have to just get this out there. I'm so frustrated and exhausted and SO doesn't seem to understand it. I'm a SAHM so I tell myself I shouldn't b***h so much because I'm pretty lucky to be able to be with my kids... All day long... Every. Single. Day. SO leaves for work every morning about 530 and gets home about 3. Then after that he goes out trapping, just during the winter, so then he gets home about 5. You would think he'd come in after that but no, he hangs out in the garage even if I tell him the kids are being a bit much to handle doesn't come in until maybe 7. I get it, he's an antsy person and needs to keep himself busy, but I wouldn't mind having a moment to myself too. I wouldn't mind trying to do some scrapbooking or try to do some sewing projects. Its hard to do anything during the day because DD refuses to nap and if I let her 'help' me, she ends up messing with something she shouldn't. DS has naps that are few and far between because DD is so loud. I'll tell her be quiet little brother is sleeping so she goes and plays with toys right outside the bedroom door or just starts running around making all sorts of noise that wakes him up. Both kids are fighting fo my attention it seems like too. SO is for rough housing with according to DD so he gets after her a lot for it and she comes over to me while I'm trying to feed, change, whatever DS needs at that moment or I'm trying to clean or make dinner. She does help me a little in the kitchen depending what I'm doing. DS is a huge momma's boy too and wants very little to do with SO, so when I am trying to get some work done and he gets upset, SO brings him to me and just says, here you go, there's mommy. SO even wants to get DD out of diapers so you would think that he would help with the potty training, haha NO! That's all me trying to do that, he won't even change a diaper unless for some reason he's home with the kids by himself. Which is honestly something I don't trust him to do. I can barely take a shower without him needing me for something. I feel like a single mother most days. It's not fair to my kids and it's not fair to me. Since DD has been born I've gone out once. That was to a baseball game with a friend while I was pregnant. My sister and my mom are actually starting to worry about me now because I've been so 'absent' from everything. SO barely helps out with the kids and he doesn't see whats happening. I'm honestly starting to rethink the relationship but I keep telling myself things will get better, this is just a little bump in the road. It doesn't help that I'm always tired from taking care of the kids and the house, I've seriously put myself last after everyone and everything. If anybody actually read this, thanks and sorry, I know its just a bunch of complaining but I just had to get it out there somehow.

[JadeLee] 1 child; Minnesota 12190 posts
26th Nov '12

I would be laying down the law.

Even though SO pays the bills he still does the dishes. I go to school and do the laundry. If SO wants to go hang out with friends that is fine once a week or so. But any more than that is a no. The only time he is out past 7 is during harvest and planting time. He lets me know the plan if he is running late

I would more than likely be re thinking my relationship if I were in your shoes.

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
26th Nov '12

I understand you are frustrated and just venting...but I have to ask. How can you stay with a man that you do not trust to be alone with your children? If he is that much of an irresponsible child then why have not 1 but 2 kids with him?

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 303 posts
26th Nov '12

When we just had our daughter he was good. Except for the dirty diapers, wet he could handle but not dirty. If he has to change a dirty diaper he will but if he doesn't, me or someone is around to do it, he won't. I know he'll take care of them, but he fets frustrated with them faster than I do, especially DS since he thinks he needs to cling to me.