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BC Mama 2 kids; British Columbia 512 posts
26th Nov '12

I leave my 2 1/2 year old with SO all the time, but I won't leave the baby with him (6 months). Only because he is super attached and freaks when he notices I'm not around... When he was a nb it was easier to leave him with SO. I won't leave the baby with anyone right now actually... He cries ALOT and I always feel like other people won't be able to handle it.

*B & D Mommy* Due January 19; 2 kids; Illinois 16013 posts
26th Nov '12

I totally trust SO with our children. I, however, do often remind him of things or text and see how the kids are doing when I'm not there and all of that lol. That is just because I like to know what is happening with them at all times. And no that does not mean I am overbearing or a psycho :wink:



And at times I think most people don't expect this to happen. Maybe they planned to have a child and then the father just ended up being someone you can't trust..I don't know lol. My ex was kind of like this. We planned our son and everything and when he got him he refused to watch him at any point..even for me to run to the gas station across the street lol..then I started feeling like he couldn't take care of him at all. But I did leave him..obviously haha

♥ Mrs. S ♥ Due September 20; 2 kids; Venezuela 13502 posts
26th Nov '12

My DH forgets to do a lot of the things like change diapers, change clothes, give the kids snacks...but he is a great dad. He plays with them, sings to them, reads to them, ect.
So when I leave the kids with him, sometimes I do worry just a little bit. He sometimes needs reminding.

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
26th Nov '12

I have friends who are like this. The one is bc all his lazy ass does is play vid games. Almost 40 n on the hone I can hear his 4 n 3 yr old screaming "daddy lease play w me" n my friend? Doesn't do anything. Makes me so sad for the kids she tells me are grabbing his legs n he practically shakes them off or screams at them to go away. The other friend is divorced but not bc of his no involvement. She would tell me she couldn't take a shower w.o 3 kids under 4 w her bc the hubby/dad refused to watch them. Like wtf?? My hubby never ever does any of that. He takes both girls to run errands so I get alone time. He gets up w them, feeds, takes care of them when he's home before he goes to work then we switch. I'd never ever put up w a dad/hubby who didn't want to spend time w their kids or I didn't trust to watch them. My 1st friend is trying to figure a way to write her will so her hubby doesn't get the kids in event of her death. She wants her other friend to raise them. She's asked if I'd ever do the same- my answer was hell no. He's their father n he loves them n he can raise/take care of them fine w.o me hovering.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
26th Nov '12

It irritates the crap out of me when a dad (or mom) says "I can't do such and such, I have to babysit the kids" no dude, you're parenting. My husband said it once when our oldest was 9 months and I corrected him promptly.



Also, he may do things differently than me, and the kids might have a bit if a less healthy supper when it's him as opposed to me, but I know he loves them as muh as I do they will be safe, loved, played with, fed, and taken care of with him. I trust him with them more than anyone else because he's their other parent, and as a parent myself, I know how he feels about them. Easy.
And I all often to check up when I leave them with ANYONE, including my DH.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
26th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" Look at it this way, if it won't kill someone, injure someone or mentally disturb someone then you're good :lol:"</blockquote>




That is seriously what I have to tell myself LOL

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" Can someone explain why they have kids with someone they can not trust to be home alone with their kids? ... [snip!] ... will harm their children, I mean they do not trust that they could take proper care of their kids without their wife/SO around)"


I don't understand that either. I think any man who finds it SO difficult to care for his own child is pretty much just a lazy p***e o* s**t because really it's not THAT difficult to watch after your kid. So he's either stupid or lazy imo.

Thorian's Mommy 1 child; Westbrook, ME, United States 8409 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" I don't understand that either. I think any man who finds it SO difficult to care for his own child ... [snip!] ... just a lazy p***e o* s**t because really it's not THAT difficult to watch after your kid. So he's either stupid or lazy imo."



i respect your opinion but thats a little judgemental. Theres multiple senerios
that your not considering. And what is so wrong with daycare? i understand theres some shitty places out there but as a parent you look for a high quality childcare. Some places only hire teachers that have the same degree as kindergarden teacher? Are you not going to send them to school cuz daddy can teach them?

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Thorian's Mommy:" i respect your opinion but thats a little judgemental. Theres multiple senerios that your not considering. ... [snip!] ... teachers that have the same degree as kindergarden teacher? Are you not going to send them to school cuz daddy can teach them?"


Uh where did I mention anything about daycare? Or homeschooling? Don't put words in my mouth. Yes, if your SO lacks the ability to provide basic care (feeding, clothing, bathing) his OWN child then he's either dumb or lazy. There is just no excuse for a man not to do all the same things with his child that a woman does.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" Can someone explain why they have kids with someone they can not trust to be home alone with their kids? ... [snip!] ... will harm their children, I mean they do not trust that they could take proper care of their kids without their wife/SO around)"


No idea.



If I choose not to go the artificial insemination route, I want a guy who is going to be very active in parenting. The career that I am going for, I will need a man to help me with the kids, especially if I work night shift.

Thorian's Mommy 1 child; Westbrook, ME, United States 8409 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" The "multiple scenarios" are not average. Usually, it's that the father is being lazy, is irresponsible ... [snip!] ... the dad refuses to watch his kid even though he is home all day because "it's too hard" that I think Rex was referring to. "


I can see that, i just hate when peoplesay "every father is a p***e o* s**t if they dont...." SO works 50 hours a week, he loves taking care of his son and never says he cant do it but you can see ho much it drains him. he has worked very hard to get were he is at at his job. i hate forhim to go into work exhausted and have him screw it up. if LO was older and a little bit easider than i maythink differently.

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" The "multiple scenarios" are not average. Usually, it's that the father is being lazy, is irresponsible ... [snip!] ... the dad refuses to watch his kid even though he is home all day because "it's too hard" that I think Rex was referring to. "


Exactly this. I don't have kids but I used to be a nanny and I also have helped take care of my niece a lot since she was born and she's almost 5 now. Unless the child is special needs or something it is really not that difficult to care for them.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42775 posts
26th Nov '12

Well...because I was very young, stupid, and in love enough to just ignore it and do everything.



Now I don't have time for that shit. I will probably be doing most things for the baby all the time even if the father and I can work things out, because he works 12hr days 12 days in a row...but best believe if he can't be trusted to be alone with the baby on his days off i'm not going to stick around.

Tig Ol' Bitties 2 kids; St Catharines, Ontario 3164 posts
26th Nov '12

I don't know. Maybe its a control thing on behalf of the women? I had a friend who was like that, used to watch all their interactions and kind of criticize the way he did things.



DH and I do things differntly. I went shopping on Friday and they ate Wendy's in front of the TV and he let her just pass out in front of cartoons. Whatever. It is his kid too and I am not arrogant enought to believe that his choices have less value than mine.

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
26th Nov '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" It is kind of difficult, especially when they are babies... Babysitting is very different than parenting ... [snip!] ... take care of a baby. When Novali was born, I honestly didn't even know how to change her clothes or ANYTHING... I had to learn."


When my niece was a baby I was around her constantly and helped my sister a lot since her husband was in the Army stationed out of state. So I know it's a full time job, but that being said the hardest part is honestly maintaining patience. I didn't find actually feeding/clothing her to be that difficult. And even so, you're right, it's the responsibility of a man as a father to LEARN how to care for his child.