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LolaMcKitten Due May 30 (girl); 27 kids; Beverly Hills, California 15496 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" My only problem is that in their lifestyle it is only okay for a MAN to have multiple partners, which is sexist and misogynistic."


While I agree and it's not something I could ever live with, I still don't think they should deal with people treating them like shit when they clearly went into it willingly and stay willingly - it's just not anyone elses business. Heck, I don't even care if he wanted to marry ALL of them legally - or if they all wanted to marry each other legally. It just irks the shit out of me that people are so nasty to them all the time. (Not you, just venting, lol)



Like, seriously - they aren't hurting anyone, the kids are cared for, who the f**k are you to sit there and treat someones family like shit when your not even the one whose being asked to participate or deal with sharing your husband - KWIM? I would NEVER be in a relationship where my husband was allowed other wives and I was only allowed to be with him - BUT, I don't think anyone should be made to feel like shit for freely choosing the lifestyle.

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting LolaMcKitten:" While I agree and it's not something I could ever live with, I still don't think they should deal with ... [snip!] ... only allowed to be with him - BUT, I don't think anyone should be made to feel like shit for freely choosing the lifestyle. "


Yeah I don't really give a shit cuz it doesn't really affect me, but the whole idea that women can't do the same things as men DOES affect every female out there so that's what I take issue with. I've only seen the show a handful of times, but Kody does come off as grimy to me. Like, imo he has a fakeness about him and I truly think he believes that he is in charge and that his role is the most important in the family.

LolaMcKitten Due May 30 (girl); 27 kids; Beverly Hills, California 15496 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" Yeah I don't really give a shit cuz it doesn't really affect me, but the whole idea that women can't ... [snip!] ... a fakeness about him and I truly think he believes that he is in charge and that his role is the most important in the family."


Oh yeah, from what I have seen from him, I don't care for him, either - at all. But I don't know a ton about polygamy and how the women are treated if they choose to do something else.

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting LolaMcKitten:" Oh yeah, from what I have seen from him, I don't care for him, either - at all. But I don't know a ton about polygamy and how the women are treated if they choose to do something else. "


I'd imagine they wouldn't be treated very well, given the religious implications and all that.

LolaMcKitten Due May 30 (girl); 27 kids; Beverly Hills, California 15496 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" I'd imagine they wouldn't be treated very well, given the religious implications and all that."


I grew up in an area with a really heavy Amish population and I know from the few people who ended up leaving that they are treated really badly and basically just cut off and disowned. The one guy I knew who had left decided to go back at one point, and they made him do all kinds of things to be accepted back into the church - like get engaged, grow his beard to a certain length,....just a ton of things just to be let back into the church.



I know Amish is not Polygamy BUT - I want to go out on a limb as assume something similar would likely happen. It's sad.

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting LolaMcKitten:" I grew up in an area with a really heavy Amish population and I know from the few people who ended up ... [snip!] ... I know Amish is not Polygamy BUT - I want to go out on a limb as assume something similar would likely happen. It's sad. "


Funny how religion is SUPPOSED to make you more caring, but most religious people I know are extremely judgmental and uncaring.

LolaMcKitten Due May 30 (girl); 27 kids; Beverly Hills, California 15496 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" Funny how religion is SUPPOSED to make you more caring, but most religious people I know are extremely judgmental and uncaring."


Lol, yeah.....I honestly view the Amish as a type of cult.

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting LolaMcKitten:" Lol, yeah.....I honestly view the Amish as a type of cult. "


I view every religion as a type of cult.

~*Flibbertigibbet*~ Helena, Montana 821 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" I view every religion as a type of cult."


:!:



We need a friggin' "LIKE" button...

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27181 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" My only problem is that in their lifestyle it is only okay for a MAN to have multiple partners, which is sexist and misogynistic."


I agree. I saw one episode where it was a "viewer question" thing and Kody acted APPALLED at the thought of his wives having another husband. Like, it was complete betrayal..... yet..... you are screwing different girls on a regular basis. Mmmhmmm... makes sense!

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting FroggysMommy:" I agree. I saw one episode where it was a "viewer question" thing and Kody acted APPALLED at the thought ... [snip!] ... Like, it was complete betrayal..... yet..... you are screwing different girls on a regular basis. Mmmhmmm... makes sense!"


I feel like in their religion women are just seen as brood mares.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" I feel like in their religion women are just seen as brood mares."


I may not like the ideas that go along with it, but part of being a feminist is allowing women to make their own choices. This means believing a woman can be strong and able to CHOOSE that lifestyle, even if it's one I don't care for.



I can see the draw. I don't want to be in one, but I'm not by any means disgusted.



And if you REALLY look at even "traditional" marriage, it really has been a means of controlling women anyways. Any sort of marriage. It was ownership. The man asks the FATHER of the woman for her hand. The father GIVES her away. She takes on the husbands name, forsaking her own. I mean, even regular marriage comes from ideas of sexism. It doesn't mean every woman who gets married is oppressed by the act NOW. Similarly, even if some of the ideas of polygamy are sexists, it doesn't mean the woman are treated as less then equal, or that they can't be strong women and still choose that lifestyle.

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
7th Dec '12

I'm aware they have the choice, but they are also shunned a lot of times if they don't choose to, so how much of a choice is that really?
Just every time I see anything to do with polygamy it's like the men do not see the women as equal partners and that's what I have a problem with. That and it's not okay for a woman to have multiple partners.



Unfortunately with traditional marriage most of the customs do revolve around sexism, but a lot of women don't even realize it. Not every woman in traditional marriage is oppressed or anything, but a lot of them don't really realize how sexist these traditions are. My bf would never ask my father for permission to marry me because I'm not a child and I don't need "permission". He also doesn't want me to change my last name because I don't want to. So it's possible to have a marriage without the sexism in it.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
7th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" I'm aware they have the choice, but they are also shunned a lot of times if they don't choose to, so ... [snip!] ... doesn't want me to change my last name because I don't want to. So it's possible to have a marriage without the sexism in it."


So, even if the traditions marriage were based on are sexist, you think you can have a marriage without sexism in it? Why then don't you think you can have a polygamist marriage without sexism in it?



Granted, the show is probably more "PC" then a lot of families, but it is still an example of polygamy. Those wives seem to have WAY more say then the husband does. They do not appear to be oppressed in any way. THey can leave when they want. THeir kids can decide to have plural marriages or not. Are there some that are oppressive and abusive? Sure. But that is true in traditional marriage as well.

eKnuckles Due February 13; Florida 3472 posts
7th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:</b>" I'm aware they have the choice, but they are also shunned a lot of times if they don't choose to, so ... [snip!] ... doesn't want me to change my last name because I don't want to. So it's possible to have a marriage without the sexism in it."</blockquote>



<blockquote><b>Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:</b>" I'm aware they have the choice, but they are also shunned a lot of times if they don't choose to, so ... [snip!] ... doesn't want me to change my last name because I don't want to. So it's possible to have a marriage without the sexism in it."</blockquote>




Its actually not all based on sexism. People just assume that if someone else can do something and they cant its automatically sexism. In Islam men cAn marry up to four women and women of course only one. Is that sexist? No because of the reasons behind it. (Islamically) the men have to take care of the women, completely. The women do not have to give a cent to them. This is to ensure abuse against her money will not take place. That would not be possible if she had more men who SHE had to take care of. On top of that we all know more men can have sex with more women and spread their seed lol than a woman can (and she can only have a baby every nine months but in reality every couple of years). Also the reason behind polygany is to help support the widows, prevent prostitition (a HUGE problem) and so much more. Also at time when Islam came men had up to thirty wives or more, and there is no way justice could be done to them financially or sexually. So it was made to only have four, IF they could do justice.



Anyway, this all works to the women's advantage but people are too blind and indoctrinated to think OH ITS SEXIST it must be because I HAVE A PERIOD and he doesn't :((((



Oh and women in Islam are also NOT allowed to take their husband's last name because yeah, we don't belong to them.