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Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes I would adopt to have "gender balance" -- Votes: 7
    • No I wouldnt adopt for that reason -- Votes: 7
    • No, I wouldnt adopt at all -- Votes: 0
    • I would adopt but not for that reason. -- Votes: 8
Adoption Crazy Train 18 kids; Killeen, Texas 1478 posts
27th Nov '12

If you had several children of the same gender and none of the opposite, would you consider adopting a child of the opposite gender just to have both? I was having a hypothetical conversation with my SO the other day and he popped off with', we should adopt a girl instead of trying to conceive one next time'. I was shocked at first because I never considered it personally but it got me wondering what other mothers would say.

Nikki Woods4 Due September 3 (boy); 19 kids; Danville, Kentucky 944 posts
27th Nov '12
Quoting Liam + 33 weeks!:" If you had several children of the same gender and none of the opposite, would you consider adopting ... [snip!] ... time'. I was shocked at first because I never considered it personally but it got me wondering what other mothers would say."


Before deciding to TTC again, my husband and I talked about adoption. We have 3 kids (2 boys 1 girl) and kind of wanted another girl to make it even, adoption is the only way we can assure we'd get a girl. Then he decided because HE was adopted as a baby, he'd rather TTC and have blood related children. So now we're ttc.

† Phoenix † 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
27th Nov '12

I personally would adopt no matter the reason, but i don't see why not adopt a girl if you and your husband are obviously not having a easy to conceiving one without it being a boy. I feel it shouldn't matter to other mom's as long as that baby is happy, healthy, and well taking care of.

tatesmommy09 2 kids; Illinois 4003 posts
27th Nov '12

My friends parents adopted a son in 2009.



Last year they were adopting another only because they wanted a daughter too. Then they found out it was actually another boy! They were surprised but definately.did not have second thoughts on the adoption!



She has said she will only do another afoption if it is a girl. And she also wants an older child.



I dont see anything wrong with it honestly.

Crazy Train 18 kids; Killeen, Texas 1478 posts
27th Nov '12

The reason I never considered it was because I felt that the child would think we only wanted her because she was a girl. Which wouldn't be true, any child I raise would be my baby and would be loved and wanted as a person. I just don't know if I could handle the "you're not my mom" rages as a teen or any doubts she may have about being wanted.... it would be heartbreaking to me. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else though... my husband thinks Im nuts and has no issues adopting haha

Kaleighshaleigh 3 kids; USA 5703 posts
27th Nov '12

I have three boys. If my husband and I decided to adopt a child I would adopt a girl. I wouldn't adopt just to get a girl, but if we were planning to adopt anyway, then I would want a girl.

♥Mj&Daryl♥ (boy); 2 kids; Spokane, Washington 2392 posts
27th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Liam + 33 weeks!:</b>" The reason I never considered it was because I felt that the child would think we only wanted her because ... [snip!] ... to me. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else though... my husband thinks Im nuts and has no issues adopting haha"</blockquote>




Not every child who is adopted goes through that.



My Mom adopted 5 of us and none of us went through that til we were taken away...then it was way more give me back to my mom and rage towards new people.

tatesmommy09 2 kids; Illinois 4003 posts
27th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Liam + 33 weeks!:</b>" The reason I never considered it was because I felt that the child would think we only wanted her because ... [snip!] ... to me. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else though... my husband thinks Im nuts and has no issues adopting haha"</blockquote>




Hmmm. I just think you would have to make sure she knew that she was adopted into your home because she needed a mommy and daddy to love her! Not because you just wanted a girl. You really arent going to adopt just to have another girl. The decision to adopt would stem from feeling that your family is incomplete, or finding that special child that needs someone to take her in.



As far as the screaming teenager.... that is inevitable whether you adopt or not. My neice has a screaming meltdown at least once a night! And the teenage boys arent far behind.