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i am a horrible mom (vent) blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
28th Nov '12

Long story short: my mom who watches lo put her in a highchair that sits in a chair and used it as a car seat. But its ok bc she rear faced it. Wtf. There is no way to even seat belt it. When I told her to stop driving and I would come get lo she got mad and hung up on me and drove her to my house anyway. I was hysterical. She didn't have a car seat bc she smokes like a freight train in her car, has no license and I don't trust her driving.



So she was my only sitter and although she challenged some of my parenting, she was very good with her. My lo loves her. I can't afford day care and don't want lo in a day care but o have no choice now. I'm afraid I'm going to lose everything trying to pay for day care.

MamaTiffy[38-weeks] Due August 2 (girl); 2 kids; Sunnyvale, CA, United States 8737 posts
28th Nov '12

I am so sorry, that sounds like a horrible situation. Do the have 4C's in your state? They help with childcare referrals and paying for child care.

⚓Misty⚓ 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7272 posts
28th Nov '12

Try to apply for the ccap Childcare assistance program. They go off your income

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
28th Nov '12

I make 35k or more but I am a single mom and have a lot of bills :( I don't think I can get assistance

κατι 1 child; Memphis, Tennessee 3143 posts
28th Nov '12

Wow that would've pissed me off too. Not enough to keep her from watching lo though. I would just buy a car seat for her to keep with her.

⚓Misty⚓ 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7272 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting momma melissa85:" I make 35k or more but I am a single mom and have a lot of bills :( I don't think I can get assistance"


yeah idk what the limit is. You could always apply, the worst theyll say is no. You dont have anyone else that can watch lo for you?

MamaTiffy[38-weeks] Due August 2 (girl); 2 kids; Sunnyvale, CA, United States 8737 posts
28th Nov '12

Or maybe try talking to her? I mean what she did was very very wrong, not only placing your child in danger but disrespecting you by not listening to you when YOUR child is concerned. But, maybe there is a way to get past this? Maybe you should explain to her how dangerous it is, try showing her some statistics or videos of car accidents? (But I'm not sure how to talk to her without her getting defensive and it ending up being an arguement) and establish some ground rules. It just sounds like you'd really be struggling to pay for child care, and also you said your daughter loves her very much so it would be a difficult transition. I'm just wondering if there's any way around this situation.



Then again, if she smokes like a freight train she is either smoking around your child or leaving her unattended to smoke. Either one is not good

MamaTiffy[38-weeks] Due August 2 (girl); 2 kids; Sunnyvale, CA, United States 8737 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Kati Iss Rollinn:" Wow that would've pissed me off too. Not enough to keep her from watching lo though. I would just buy a car seat for her to keep with her."


Even with a car seat her mom doesn't have a license and is an unsafe driver :/ If she got pulled over the car would be towed leaving her and LO stuck wherever they are. Or she can get in an accident if she is not a safe driver.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
28th Nov '12

I will check those out though. I don't even know where to start with day care. I'm crushed bc she will not be with someone who loves her, she won't get one on one care, I'm scared of abuse or neglect in day care, I don't want her eating that kind of food they serve(I eat organic, grain and mostly fmeat and dairy free) I'm scared of lo getting sick from all the kids and her learning bad habits and behavior from other kids. I'm so sad over this. I can't believe she was so selfish to do such a reckless thing. She could have killed my daughter ans she thinks she did nothing wrong, is justifying it and blamed me.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
28th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Misty Walls:</b>" yeah idk what the limit is. You could always apply, the worst theyll say is no. You dont have anyone else that can watch lo for you?"</blockquote>




No :( yea I will try

MamaTiffy[38-weeks] Due August 2 (girl); 2 kids; Sunnyvale, CA, United States 8737 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting momma melissa85:" I will check those out though. I don't even know where to start with day care. I'm crushed bc she will ... [snip!] ... such a reckless thing. She could have killed my daughter ans she thinks she did nothing wrong, is justifying it and blamed me."


It sounds like the concerns/dangers about daycare outweigh the risk of keeping her there with your mom. I'd just try and talk with her, and let her know you are very concerned about your daughter riding in the car with anyone other than you (that way it doesn't sound like your solely judging her driving)



I work as a nanny and even with a 10 year clean driving record and insurance some parents don't feel comfortable with me driving their child. It doesn't offend me, I understand what they're thinking.

EpicThunderCat! ; 1 child; Oregon 9400 posts
28th Nov '12

That is really scary! I am so sorry mama D:
I would go to DHS and just ask about child care. Maybe they can at least point to someone who is DHS certified and charges less. My friends mom only charges 3 dollars an hour so people are out there :[

Tash+1 1 child; Canton, Ohio 7839 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting momma melissa85:" I will check those out though. I don't even know where to start with day care. I'm crushed bc she will ... [snip!] ... such a reckless thing. She could have killed my daughter ans she thinks she did nothing wrong, is justifying it and blamed me."


Hire independently, for in your home care. Care.com is a great site to look through nannies.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
28th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:</b>" Or maybe try talking to her? I mean what she did was very very wrong, not only placing your child in ... [snip!] ... smokes like a freight train she is either smoking around your child or leaving her unattended to smoke. Either one is not good"</blockquote>




She knows how I feel about carseat safety which is why she rear faced the seat. Idk bc we had a big argument and when she kept hanging up on me and would not answer I was hysterical and did not know where my lo was. I called the police, even though I let her leave b4 they could talk to her.



She wears differ clothes and washes up after smoking outside during lo naps and such. She follows my rules on that.



I don't think there is any going back.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
28th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:</b>" Even with a car seat her mom doesn't have a license and is an unsafe driver :/ If she got pulled over ... [snip!] ... the car would be towed leaving her and LO stuck wherever they are. Or she can get in an accident if she is not a safe driver."</blockquote>



That's what I was afraid of