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Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
28th Nov '12

OP, good for you! Admitting you have a problem is the first step.



I think you need to approach your boyfriend and tell him that yes, you are both aware that you cheated in the past, and you love him. Tell him you realize that your family comes first and you would like his help and support while you seek therapy. Tell him you think it's a problem and you want to be faithful and prove to him that he's the only one for you.



You are going to need his support and forgiveness to move on. Sounds like you have a problem with addiction to temporary thrills. Is there something you look for in these men? What do they all have in common? When you feel the need to try and find another man or hook up, text a girlfriend instead and do something fun and away from men. I think your guilt and addiction is pushing you further into the cycle, which is making it worse. And you know you can win him back. But one day he will have enough and walk off.



You need to realize that you HAVE to take responsibility for your actions. You need to look for a therapist now. Call and make an appointment. Lots of people overcome this problem through therapy.



You are also going to have to realize that relationships take discipline and dedication, then apply yourself 100% to your relationship. It's a mental battle that you will have to struggle. You need to be in control all the time and tell yourself daily that the cycle stops. No more cheating.

Dontai's MUMMY! Due May 10; 33 kids; 3 angel babies; Memphis, Tennessee 444 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Naocorn:" OP, good for you! Admitting you have a problem is the first step. I think you need to approach your ... [snip!] ... will have to struggle. You need to be in control all the time and tell yourself daily that the cycle stops. No more cheating."


thanks i appreciate you for this.

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Dontai's MUMMY!:" i cant. i just cant explain this. he know about some of it and it hurt him like hell i just cant tell ... [snip!] ... and i leave while he sleep and he doesnt even notices... but im trying to do better. and when we do have sex its the best."


Sounds like his behavior is part of the problem. You never see each other and work on your relationship. You are going to emotionally wander and seek what you are missing. I'm not saying he is at fault, because he's not, but it's going to take both of you to fix your relationship. Hiding from you because of the issue isn't going to motivate you very much. Have you guys gone out together as a couple?

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting tinana +2:" STDs don't necessarily show up right away. There are people that contract HIV (among other things) and don't find out for months and months."


Or years.

Dontai's MUMMY! Due May 10; 33 kids; 3 angel babies; Memphis, Tennessee 444 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Naocorn:" Sounds like his behavior is part of the problem. You never see each other and work on your relationship. ... [snip!] ... Hiding from you because of the issue isn't going to motivate you very much. Have you guys gone out together as a couple?"

we hardly go out on the weekends. he likes to have his homies come over smoke weed, drink and play video games or he may go out with them! and yes its part of the problem when i be wanting to go ona romantic date! it makes me angry

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Dontai's MUMMY!:" thanks i appreciate you for this."


Addiction is real and comes in all forms. I am not anyone that can judge another person. But if someone is willing to put their business out on the line and ask for help, I can respect that. And I will give help. I really hope you listen to what everyone tells you and take charge of your problem. And I wish you both the best.

Dontai's MUMMY! Due May 10; 33 kids; 3 angel babies; Memphis, Tennessee 444 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Naocorn:" Or years."


but he took me out to a movie and dinner last weekend and i loved it! i wish he would take me out more often. mostly on the weekends im home with our son! or i may drop our son off to his grandma and i'll g out and do what i do. but i wanna stop. i dont wanna blame him as to why im doing this though

Dontai's MUMMY! Due May 10; 33 kids; 3 angel babies; Memphis, Tennessee 444 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Naocorn:" Addiction is real and comes in all forms. I am not anyone that can judge another person. But if someone ... [snip!] ... give help. I really hope you listen to what everyone tells you and take charge of your problem. And I wish you both the best."

THANKS!

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Dontai's MUMMY!:" we hardly go out on the weekends. he likes to have his homies come over smoke weed, drink and play video ... [snip!] ... games or he may go out with them! and yes its part of the problem when i be wanting to go ona romantic date! it makes me angry"


Do you think you are subconciously punishing him? It may be good for him to come to therapy with you, or at least couples therapy as well. I had a boyfriend who behaved that way, he wanted to smoke pot with his friends all the time, I wanted to spend time together and didn't smoke at all. I found myself looking around at other girls in envy, dreaming about what I could have, and talking to people. I didn't cheat or text cheat, but I had a few male friends (mutual with my boyfriend, and I kept it respectable) and I realize that I went to them about my problems before my boyfriend, to fulfill an emotional need. When I realized I should talk to him and confront him, I did. It didn't help us, because he left me for another girl and became a junkie. But that relationship taught me a lot about how mature relationships are suppose to be, and that unhealthy relationships take many forms. I thought he was the absolute love of my life. Now I'm happier with a man who devotes a lot of time with me and the kids and I trust. So you never know how things will turn out.

Kelly+Brandon=Blake 1 child; Maryland 1260 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Dontai's MUMMY!:" but he took me out to a movie and dinner last weekend and i loved it! i wish he would take me out more ... [snip!] ... son off to his grandma and i'll g out and do what i do. but i wanna stop. i dont wanna blame him as to why im doing this though"


You need to talk to him and let him know how you're feeling without nagging or whining.

Kelly+Brandon=Blake 1 child; Maryland 1260 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Naocorn:" Do you think you are subconciously punishing him? It may be good for him to come to therapy with you, ... [snip!] ... I'm happier with a man who devotes a lot of time with me and the kids and I trust. So you never know how things will turn out."


Same here, very true!

Its Eh-Lei Ocala, Florida 4303 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Kelly+Brandon=Blake:" She has real issues that you probably couldn't understand even if you tried. And name calling sooo helps lol let me try...Rude b***h. :roll: Btw "tis is all"? Wrong. Good day! 8)"



Public FORUM.
she posted.
I commented.
My opinion is MY opinion.
I don't want to understand it lmao. If you cheat on someone once okay maybe there is an issue or it was payback. Multiple times and then you reach out on a public forum that ANYONE can access. I don't think so.
gosh I love being a rude b***h! -- If you go threw my posts I actually DON'T ever say anything to anyone but this lady is a straight wh**e.



like I said tis is all. =D

Daniee 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Lynnwood, Washington 3753 posts
29th Nov '12

I do not believe there is ever an excuse to cheat!



I have never cheated, I never will. The heart break that carries is the worst!
I would never cause someone that pain.



It's quite simple to keep your vagina to yourself and your SO.



It's a very simple choice. I do not condone cheating. I would never wish it against my worse enemy.



You are doing something so horrible to that man and your family, you have a child together! You need to break up with that man, tell him the truth and let him move on and be happy with someone who will treat him with respect.



My SO works all the time, I work when he's off. We barely spend time together and never have sex. You don't see me dropping my child off with her grandma to go cheat on him! It's simple don't do it!
The thought has never even crossed my mind.
My ex cheated on me all the time, it was horrible. That heart sinking feeling...

Kelly+Brandon=Blake 1 child; Maryland 1260 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting Its Eh-Lei:" Public FORUM. she posted. I commented. My opinion is MY opinion. I don't want to understand it ... [snip!] ... go threw my posts I actually DON'T ever say anything to anyone but this lady is a straight wh**e. like I said tis is all. =D"


Um..didn't ask for an explanation lol and I don't care why you said what you said. That was MY opinion. Tis all I have to say to you :twisted:

Dontai's MUMMY! Due May 10; 33 kids; 3 angel babies; Memphis, Tennessee 444 posts
30th Nov '12
Quoting Its Eh-Lei:" Public FORUM. she posted. I commented. My opinion is MY opinion. I don't want to understand it ... [snip!] ... go threw my posts I actually DON'T ever say anything to anyone but this lady is a straight wh**e. like I said tis is all. =D"


yo mami b***h f**k u