Reply
I don't want to have sex. whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
28th Nov '12

The title says it all. It's a little over six weeks since I gave birth and I have absolutely NO sex drive. SO is so horny and is constantly grabbing at me or peeking at me in the shower. We recently got back together and havent had sex since I was 4 months pregnant (except that one random time that doesn't count... trust me) -- and he hasnt had sex with anyone else.



Will my sex drive come back? Should I just suck it up? I know sucking it up sounds dumb but sex is part of a relationship and I don't want to be unfair.
How did you keep your SO at bay?



TIA

Justine's Mama Due November 28 (boy); 1 child; Boynton Beach, Florida 1939 posts
28th Nov '12

Its been 2 weeks for me since I gave birth and I have a huge sex drive I have more of a desire then I ever have before. I am not sure if your sex drive will come back or not. I would do what you want if you don't feel like having sex don't or maybe give it a try and maybe you will be in the mood for it again. I just give SO head since he is a horn ball and I can't give him any coochie yet.

Monique and Dominic's mom 2 kids; Wyoming 2769 posts
28th Nov '12

After I had DS, my drive came back. We were in a wreck recently and the trauma from it, well, my sex drive is gone. My DH has backed off on the hunting and begging because he knows I'm not in a good place mentally, right now.



Tell him how you feel. I'm sure him being kinda pushy doesn't help, I know it doesn't help me. If anything, it annoys me and turns me off even more.

MommyToWesley 1 child; Delaware 3847 posts
28th Nov '12

My sex drive is just starting to come back- I'm over 7 months pp.
I had such a horrible recovery, and we didn't even have sex for the first time pp until my son was 4 months old. :oops:

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Monique and Dominic's mom:" After I had DS, my drive came back. We were in a wreck recently and the trauma from it, well, my sex ... [snip!] ... I'm sure him being kinda pushy doesn't help, I know it doesn't help me. If anything, it annoys me and turns me off even more."


His begging is so annoying! I explained to him that my vagina still doesn't feel comfortable (my vagina tear is not healing properly) and that mentally, even if it did, I'm still somewhat traumatized by the fact that it tore so badly.



He says he understands but he just looks sad and wont stop the grabbing and looking. ughhhh

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
28th Nov '12

I'd suck it up. It's hard at first but the more you have sex the more you will want it.

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Justine's Mama:" Its been 2 weeks for me since I gave birth and I have a huge sex drive I have more of a desire then I ... [snip!] ... maybe you will be in the mood for it again. I just give SO head since he is a horn ball and I can't give him any coochie yet. "


I downed some wine the other night with the hopes that I could suck it up and give him some head but...... I still couldnt do it :oops:

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting MommyToWesley:" My sex drive is just starting to come back- I'm over 7 months pp. I had such a horrible recovery, and we didn't even have sex for the first time pp until my son was 4 months old. :oops:"


That's where i'm at too. Bad recovery = no desire

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" I'd suck it up. It's hard at first but the more you have sex the more you will want it."


Ugh. But he is all sensitive/emotional and wants me to be uber into it and I know I will not. I wish he would just let me fake like I enjoyed it and not ask all these questions afterwards.

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting whoknowsx:" That's where i'm at too. Bad recovery = no desire"


What about a hand job? If you aren't healed, I would wait it out. Sounds like your hormones may be a bit off balance still. My progesterone shot through the roof. I didn't want sex and my vag would tear really easy cause it thinned my skin out. I dreaded sex. It took estrogen cream and BC to correct. (For me.)



But if you're torn, it may take time. And LOTS of foreplay. And outside stimulation only. What if you let him rub on the outside? It may turn you on a bit, and if it's been a while he might not last anyway. Or stimulate yourself on the outside and see if it does anything to help.

Monique and Dominic's mom 2 kids; Wyoming 2769 posts
28th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting whoknowsx:</b>" His begging is so annoying! I explained to him that my vagina still doesn't feel comfortable (my vagina ... [snip!] ... by the fact that it tore so badly. He says he understands but he just looks sad and wont stop the grabbing and looking. ughhhh"</blockquote>




DH will come in and look in the shower, but he knows not to play grab ass. I anger so easily right now.
I tore and had an episiotomy with DD. I was ready to jump back in the saddle at six weeks, no problems. I have no clue why, it did hurt, but at the time, I didn't care.
Now, I'm really just not into sex. I don't feel like it, I have no desire for it. I think it has to do with the fact that I like sex with low lighting or no lighting and right now, that is a severe trigger for me, I can't even sleep without a light on, I'll have a panic attack.
I would try, but take it slow, super slow.

Addi&Aria'smama Due January 23 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Florissant, Missouri 5925 posts
28th Nov '12

You just had a baby. Of course you don't want to have sex. Your body just completed what it interprets as the point of sex, reproduction.



DH and I tried at 4 weeks and it hurt like hell.



I would just tell him to back off and that you will come to him when you are ready. Plus, if you still aren't healed then that is a huge no no. You could end up with an infection.

Justine's Mama Due November 28 (boy); 1 child; Boynton Beach, Florida 1939 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting whoknowsx:" I downed some wine the other night with the hopes that I could suck it up and give him some head but...... I still couldnt do it :oops:"


Hm do you not like giving head ? or its just from you not having no desire for sex at all lately. Maybe just give your self some more time. The last few months of pregnancy was really hard for me to move around and be comfortable having sex so I just stopped all together I think that is why I am wanting it so bad now. Other wise I might not really care.

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Justine's Mama:" Hm do you not like giving head ? or its just from you not having no desire for sex at all lately. Maybe ... [snip!] ... having sex so I just stopped all together I think that is why I am wanting it so bad now. Other wise I might not really care. "

I use to enjoy giving head, not sure whats going on now. I think the fact that I havent had sex since August has made me somewhat asexual. That + the traumatic healing + breastfeeding has me dry as a dessert with no desire or ability to get wet or turned on.

Ꭶwan♥Nemo 1 child; Kansas City, Missouri 7416 posts
28th Nov '12

Foreplay? even when I dont feel like it that always manages to convince me.
I didnt feel like sex for real until 3 months PP and then I went crazy and got back to my old self.