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Nameless Ghoul 2 kids; Sweden 6452 posts
28th Nov '12

I'll have my nursing degree by 2014 and plan to start working again once I have it, so I won't have to worry about anything like that.

gorgeouschaos712 2 kids; Hickory, North Carolina 596 posts
28th Nov '12

I cannot stand relying on anyone! Being a SAHM is great and all, I love being able to spend time with my kids. But I am going to college to further my education so that I can give them more out of life whether I stay with DH or not.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Will☮Creedence:" I don't agree with that last statement at all. Kids should be with their mothers first and foremost. ... [snip!] ... them all in daycare and working. ETA ignore all of that. I just realized you were talking about after the kids grow up lol"

Nothing you said relates to my last sentence?



Eta: Just saw your eta lol

✰ Mrs. B ✰ 2 kids; Texas 2640 posts
28th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:</b>" :!: Same. I regret the fact that I didn't finish my degree before having DD. In my defense I didn't ... [snip!] ... now I would be screwed. I can't wait to go back to school next fall, like extremely excited to get my final semester done!"</blockquote>



Yay for next fall being your final semester! I remember how excited I was, I hope it's easy & stress free for you!!!

☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
28th Nov '12

No offense to the question, but the wording of it is why there is such a stigma associated with assistance. I'm a social work major and see all the time that people who NEED help don't get it because of the stigma associated and they feel that it's not "meant for them".



That's EXACTLY what it's meant for... To help you while you get on your feet, often after a huge life even has left you financially insecure.



With that being said, I think it's great for a woman to have an education and work experience. That's definitely ideal. Hell, it's ideal for everyone to have a good education and a career either to support the family or fall back on. What I don't agree with is underlying suggestion here that assistance shouldn't be necessary.



I've seen families... intact families, by the way, who were WELL off. Had a house, an SUV, small car, great education and careers, a couple of kids, and the picket fence and something takes place in their life and they require assistance to stay off the street.



It's OKAY to use assistance. That's what it's there for.



End social services rant. lol

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22958 posts
28th Nov '12

I believe they should have a back up plan. I'm a SAHM but I'm single. I am on disability. If that gets cancelled or whatever I'm pretty much screwed since I can't work. Or else I will be in the hospital indefinitely.

♥Simply Whitney♥ TTC since Dec 2012; 1 child; Australia 932 posts
28th Nov '12

I think it is important to have some kind of education. Right now I have a certificate in Early Childhood. I would have gotten more of an education, but moved countries and haven't been able to work or go to school. Once I get permeant residency I want to finish my education. I want to be a SAHM but once all my kids are in school, I want to go work.

user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
28th Nov '12

I believe it is absolutely important to always have a backup plan. Relying on someone else will not be helpful when life doesn't work out as you were expecting. So many unexpected events can take place that I strongly feel it is pure idiocy to not be prepared. Being a SAH is great, but I think you should first gain some experience either through a college degree or work before becoming a SAHP.
Not for some, but for ALL.



I believe in being actively prepped if you have children. You owe it to them as you are who they rely on to ALWAYS have the ability to support them. Having this ability should not be a choice, because it can be a choice for failure.

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Rd.:" Nothing you said relates to my last sentence?"


Did you read the edit? You quoted it.
I thought you were saying being SAHMother isn't a valid title then I reread

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting Rd.:" Nothing you said relates to my last sentence? Eta: Just saw your eta lol"


Lol ughhh we keep missing the edits!

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting The Purple Penguin:" No offense to the question, but the wording of it is why there is such a stigma associated with assistance. ... [snip!] ... assistance to stay off the street. It's OKAY to use assistance. That's what it's there for. End social services rant. lol"


I have nothing against assistance, but I know for a fact that the number of single mothers on welfare would be significantly lower had they had waited until they had finished college and had a steady career BEFORE having children.

ღ Diana ღ Michigan 15726 posts
28th Nov '12

Yes it is very important, you need something to fall back on in case something happens. Even if your partner loses their job.



Although I have never been in that situation, if I had I wouldn't be able to do it without needing assistance. I learned all of this the hard way when my SO lost his job but I was luckily about to find work. IMO it was irresponsible for me to stay home and not trying to earn a degree at the same time at least.

john casey (mtka) 3 kids; Bradley, Illinois 21994 posts
28th Nov '12

if something happened to my husband (as in he would die) i would get a lofty amount from insurance. plus our savings would be enough to support us for a year if i tried. I am making steps now to start getting my name out there. while i think a higher education is noble, for what i want to do its not really needed, infact it would kind of be a waste.



I don't really have a lot planned for if Dave left. He would never leave his kids behind with out supporting them, so i would have to support myself, and i could do that for a breif time on our "back up" savings. i could stay with family if for some reason i was the one who wasnt in the house.



but for now i am doing what i want with my life.



i am being a modern day June Cleaver.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15566 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting The Purple Penguin:" No offense to the question, but the wording of it is why there is such a stigma associated with assistance. ... [snip!] ... assistance to stay off the street. It's OKAY to use assistance. That's what it's there for. End social services rant. lol"

I COMPLETELY agree with your assistance opinion.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
28th Nov '12
Quoting The Purple Penguin:" No offense to the question, but the wording of it is why there is such a stigma associated with assistance. ... [snip!] ... assistance to stay off the street. It's OKAY to use assistance. That's what it's there for. End social services rant. lol"

I agree. Your husband could be making 100k a year, but if he leaves you and you have an education and have to get a job you're not going to start anywhere near 100k lol. You might need assistance while finding a job and a home that your income can support. It's hard to go from having a lot to just making it.