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a little frustrated. aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
29th Nov '12

Ok so on Nov. 13 my stepdaughter moved in with us. Which is fine we are getting along. However, she is 18 but still in high school. We are still paying support on her to his ex wife as well as my step son. I'm frustrated cause we are now struggling more that we ever have. My ex husband stopped paying support on my two girls because he thinks he can stop when he wants. And now we have an extra mouth to feed, cloth, and supple for. Our baby girl is due in 5 weeks. I'm scared to see how that is going to go adding yet another mouth here. We pay his ex almost $500 a month. My husband doesnt want to deal with the stress of stopping suppor to her to restart it in 5 months. But I feel it needs to be stopped. Am I over reacting? Everything, from the gas we spent each week to get places to household supplies needing to be bought has increased. We now go threw more soap, dish soap, body soaps, and toilet paper. End of vent. So just wondering how I should possible handle this so that I dont get stressed out and raise my blood pressure.

[♥]Mrs. Taylor 18 kids; Texas 12250 posts
29th Nov '12

If she is living with you I wouldn't pay!

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56007 posts
29th Nov '12

The 18 year old can get a job



and take your ex to court for non-payment of child support

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15428 posts
29th Nov '12

No you're not overreacting! She's living with you, there's absolutely no need to supply the Mother with money. It's like it's alimony now or something, not child support, because it obviously isn't going to support the child.

aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
29th Nov '12

Thats my view on it. But the last time I talked to my hsuband about it he said to call and see what it takes to stop it. It takes them both them to write a note to the judge saying that she lives her and that my husband would like their custody agreement changed as well as support dropped. But he says he doesnt want to deal with it and when I've tried to talk to him about the letters he says he doesnt want to talk about it.

aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" No you're not overreacting! She's living with you, there's absolutely no need to supply the Mother with ... [snip!] ... with money. It's like it's alimony now or something, not child support, because it obviously isn't going to support the child."

well my step son still lives with the mom so it is going still to one child. My husbands view on it is once his daughter graduates support will just be restarted.

aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" The 18 year old can get a job and take your ex to court for non-payment of child support"


I've stated that she should get a job but she hasnt made an effort.



As for my ex I've contacted the court house many times he had a court date in september and november and nothing has came of it



loving little luna 1 child; Stavanger, Norway 835 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting aperkins:" Thats my view on it. But the last time I talked to my hsuband about it he said to call and see what it ... [snip!] ... he doesnt want to deal with it and when I've tried to talk to him about the letters he says he doesnt want to talk about it."

he doesn't want to deal with it...? sounds pretty shitty to me. he needs to start just paying half of the child support if only one kid lives with her. and if she has a problem with it, tell her to take him to court since the 18 year old is living with you. and if i'm not mistaken, i think child support stops once you're 18 doesn't it?

aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting waiting on little luna!:" he doesn't want to deal with it...? sounds pretty shitty to me. he needs to start just paying half of ... [snip!] ... court since the 18 year old is living with you. and if i'm not mistaken, i think child support stops once you're 18 doesn't it?"


Thats what we thought. But when I called I was told child support stops at the age of 19. I'm just not sure how to to bring it back up to him. But I know I want to talk to him about it again. I just dont want to fight and get stressed out

loving little luna 1 child; Stavanger, Norway 835 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting aperkins:" Thats what we thought. But when I called I was told child support stops at the age of 19. I'm just not ... [snip!] ... to to bring it back up to him. But I know I want to talk to him about it again. I just dont want to fight and get stressed out"

here's an idea...



"honey/babe/(whatever his name is), i'm getting really stressed out because we have a baby coming soon and you still have to pay money towards your ex for a child who's not even living there. can you please talk to her about it? that's money that should be supporting her living HERE"



or something along those lines :) you don't have to bring it up in a way that's gonna start an argument. and if he doesn't do anything, honestly, i'd do research and maybe start all the work for him so all he has to do is tell her they need to agree on something or go to court.

aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
29th Nov '12

Thats true. I think I'll talk to him about it again tonight cause even tho all our bills are paid and food is on our table. Its still bugging me. I have thought of typing up the letters and printing them and then having him drop them off at the court house.

loving little luna 1 child; Stavanger, Norway 835 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting aperkins:" Thats true. I think I'll talk to him about it again tonight cause even tho all our bills are paid and ... [snip!] ... bugging me. I have thought of typing up the letters and printing them and then having him drop them off at the court house."

that's EXACTLY what i do. if you just do all the work for him, there's not much required on his part except to follow through.



and even though bills are paid and food is on the table, think of it this way: the money that should be used for the 18 year old is more than likely being used towards the ex now since she only has one child living there. that's money that YOU need to support HER.

peikermommaof2 Due February 3 (boy); 49 kids; Delaware 88 posts
29th Nov '12

Just be careful in some states you have to pay child support if the child goes to college. my best friends father end up paying $5000 in back child support (keep in mind the kid lived with the mom still) Just make sure you guys report everything some exs are evil and she might ask for money anyway! good luck the last thing you need is money woes

aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
29th Nov '12

Sadly I dont thinks she used the money to support the kids anyway. And honestly I think if we stop support they will let my step son move in with us cause there is no money coming in from support. Actually this last sunday we fought and got her ss card from his ex and her husband went on a rant about how getting the card better not stop support. That made it clear that they dont care about the kids they just want the money my husband is paying.



I think I'll just type up the letters and go from there. Not much more I can do. I've been keeping a record of when she moved in and what weeks we still have paid support. IT comes right out of my husbands check so there is record that he's paid and when. My step daughter has no intention to go to college right away. And my step son wants to move in now but decided he will wait to he turns 18 as well

loving little luna 1 child; Stavanger, Norway 835 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting aperkins:" Sadly I dont thinks she used the money to support the kids anyway. And honestly I think if we stop support ... [snip!] ... no intention to go to college right away. And my step son wants to move in now but decided he will wait to he turns 18 as well"

don't STOP support altogether, it just needs to be less than what you're paying now.



child support is just that, support for the CHILD. and if the child is with you, then you need that support.



and if his ex is gonna keep demanding support, i'd laugh in her face and take her to court. that's money that you two need right now.